Ok, so all of us that yelled "straight to DVD" were wrong, and everyone in the Tucker camp that yelled "2000 screens opening weekend No. 1 in the Box Office" is gona be wrong.
Freestyle Releasing are a small-ish distribution company and Tucker's movie is going to be opening on less that 400 screens its opening weekend. They have no money for promotion, and nobody cares.
It's sad that we have to wait until September 25th to see how badly this fails. I keep losing interest in the Tucker Max saga, because if you're like me you've come to realise that everything that gets written on Rudius and his site is an outright absolute lie. So you have a constant cavalcade of lies that eventually get proven to be what they are, and meanwhile people on the RMMB continue to act like blind sycophants gobbling it up.
Tucker said he would be getting distribution from Fox. He didn't.
Tucker said he would have a $25+ million opening weekend. Look at Freestyle's other movies, can you guess how many of them had that big an opening weekend?
An American Haunting - 5.7 million
The Haunting of Molly Hartley - 5.4 million
The Illusionist - 6.1 million
I didn't go through all of them, those were the only ones I recognised. And according to here there biggest opening weekend is $6 million-ish.
Tucker promises a 35day cross country IHTSBIH movie-premiere-schwag-athon. I think we know anything that requires this level of organisation from Tucker is already, at this early stage, completely fucked.
Tucker said he was offered 8 figures for distribution. He didn't. Nope. Non. No wai. Never happened.
So what else is new in Tucker land?
- Bunny is in rehab. I'd like to think we played a small part in that with our online vitriol. Punch and pie for all.
- Very stupid people are protesting Tucker Max when he goes to colleges. This will just stir up controversy and interest in the movie. The best thing to do is ignore it, or make hater posts on the internet. Rawr.
- Assholes Finish First was released to international literary acclaim. Oh wait.. what? No it wasn't?
- Who could have predicted that? :D
- My video of IHTSBIH being burnt to a delicious cinder crisp? 11,500 views. Trolling Tucker fans has never been so much fun. I can't believe this video has more views than the one of me dressed up like Diana Ross. SO much work went into that costume..
- Some new Tucker hate sites have popped up. Add them to your favourites!
- http://www.fuckermax.blogspot.com/
- http://tuckermaxisadouche.blogspot.com/
- Cockly McBeefwell is back! OR something! Either way, tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com is no longer on the internets and all the stuff was transferred over to this new place. The dream never dies! You can still view all 6000+ comments over here but it seems new comments should be for the new site, lest we split the Tucker haters. Divided we are weak, but united - we are not as weak. Sorta.
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FINALLY, here's a quick guid on how to discredit Tucker should he ever come up in a social situation. If you're like me, you probably want to keep the fact that you run/participate in an anti-Tucker website quiet when doing so. But how to do it without giving away that you know way too much about Tucker?
Step 1: Take a lofty approach over the person who enthusiastically brought up Tucker. "Yeah, his stories are alright - but they're massively embellished. You'd be foolish to believe everything he writes."
Step 2: Use facts and lies to help you. "Isn't Tucker Max like, about 40 years old? And he just goes around to colleges talking about when he used to be in college? Isn't that kind of sad?"
Step 3: Condition people to dislike his movie even before it comes out. "Yeah a movie based on his book or something? I read on IMDB that no-one even wants to distribute it for him - apparently he really is an asshole in real life, the movie is supposed to suck the big one"
Step 4: The outright character destroying lie: "Oh yeah I was at a Borders one time when he was doing a book signing. There was nobody there. I went over to say hi and he told me to fuck off. He has really small hands as well. Nobody likes him. If you like him you're probably a loser."
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3 WEEKS TIL THE FIRST IHTSBIH TRAILER!!
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That's all for now. Until next time, I encourage you all to keep thinking about Tucker. Especially you TATguy!
