Sunday, October 3, 2010

assholes finish first (epub format)

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7AOFI7RL

no pass

73 comments:

Light said...

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/45281

epub reader add-on for firefox.

Light said...

mirror

http://rapidshare.com/files/422883178/Assholes.rar

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the link.

Anonymous said...

I doubt I'll make it through this. This book is fucking terrible. IHTSBIH was at least entertaining.

What kind of grown ass man seriously writes, "BURN, BABY, BURN" in a book, about having insulted an 18 year old girl. YEAH, YOU'RE GOOD, TUCKER.

Anonymous said...

[i]What kind of grown ass man seriously writes, "BURN, BABY, BURN" in a book, about having insulted an 18 year old girl[/i]

What kind of grown man doesn't? There is not a day that goes by that I don't just randomly insult teenage girls, and then write about it on my blog [url]Failedmoviemakerinsultsgirls.com[/url] I'm waiting to get invited to speak to college audiences about how I followed my dream of insulting girls. It's going to be epic.

Drake said...

You need to psot up the audio version

Anonymous said...

I am in the new book. EVery single part of the story is false. Originally he told me I would never be in the book because I was his "friend" and he doesn't write about friends. Then, once the movie bombed and he got dumped due to Ian Ziering, I guess he had to start making stories up. It really is pretty sad. In fact, it's not even worth the confrontation with him because the story was so lame and my name isn't published.

Anonymous said...

Btw... I just wrote the last post and to make one point clear, I DID NOT buy the book. I read the chapter at Borders, laughed, and left it with the clerk to put back with the only 4 other copies they ordered and never sold.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled on this website a while back, I can't remember how. I remember it was during Tucker's brief flirtation with mainstream media, so I assumed the website was a cultural counter-current the likes of which you can observe any time a controversial figure attains some measure of success. Naturally, I assumed that once the movie finished its run and Tucker returned to writing and touring, the updates on this website would lower in frequency and finally trickle to a stop.

That you're still updating...to me, at least, is not sad. It is not douch-ey. It's a little fucking scary. I am actually *made uncomfortable* by this website. This should be an alarm bell for you. Examine yourself.

Anonymous said...

^^^ You should not have posted here. Now we know who and where you are, and will be dispatching a stalker shortly. Do NOT email me about this, people.

Anonymous said...

Omg... that's great! I like how anonymous (obvious) "stumbled upon" this website, yet is now back looking at it and finds it "uncomfortable." The fact that he points out that the douche is still in the media, i.e. touring and writing, but finds that people responding negative to his continued "debauchery" (lies)is weird is in itself ridiculous. "Success" is also laughable. The fallen empire and bankrupt movie are not exactly what anyone would refer to as "success." It's o.k. that he continues to talk shit about people he knows, yet the very people he has wronged are not allowed to call him out. It's clearly obvious that it's him that needs to "examine" himself.

Anonymous said...

Been following doucebag for a couple years and had to come over here thanks to the comments section being blocked off.

I'll first say that I did buy AFF to see how it all came out. To Mr. Makth'th credit, he at least acknowledges that he is a narcisistic douche, most girls are not that attractive to him and have a more than a few emotional issues that he exploits. The writing isn't great and the jokes at times seem forced. A little like Dennis Miller with all the similes. The stories though, are funny. I just take them as being slightly (or completely) fabricated.

Tucker mentions on more than one occasion in the book that since IHTSBIH was released, it became less about him chasing after girls and more about girls chasing after him. He says thousands of girls offer themselves to him each week, clearly an embellishment. I'm sure the embellishments are there too about the girls he hooks up with and the situations he has been in.

Tucker also mentions that he wants to settle down with a girl, start a family, etc... He acknowledges that he's 35 now.

What I'll be interested to see is if he is actually capable of settling down with someone. His book reads like his thoughts streaming on 400 pages without a filter or a pause. After reading both books it seems like he's either going to find an ugly girl who will care for him, or an attractive girl with serious issues. I just can't see a hot girl who is emotionally stable wanting to be with him. He even states that in his book most girls are two, but not all of the three types: sane, hot, and I forget what the third one is ... maybe kind?

Anonymous said...

Kind would be putting it mildly. I would say the person to settle with him would be stupid OR like his last gf that apparently dumped him for Ian Ziering which falls under fame whore. The problem with that is probably the same reason she left him which would be that he's not looking too famous anymore.

Anonymous said...

Well, I was actually "hot, sane, and recently single" when I randomly met Tucker. I randomly left Tucker as well because he quite honestly bored me. His aquaintances sucked and his place was a shithole. He proceeded to write a ridiculous story about me to which I have/or had? numerous emails and texts that prove the exact opposite of what he wrote. Mostly, he just begged me to come back. The movie script was just horrible and I even mentioned one part was VERY unbelieveable and I thought fatass Nils was going to sit on me and induce suffocation.

Anonymous said...

I am in the book too. Tucker walked all over me and used me. He took a picture with me so I have proof. He literally jumped on me when I wasn't even ready for it. And then he gave this scary goofy smile while he was on top of me. He used his feet on me which is kind of sick for a middle aged guy. I kind of feel that the whole reason he used me was to further one of his lies, which is that he is not really six feet tall. I know because I was one of the objects he was standing on when he took the book cover picture to give his an extra three inches.

Anonymous said...

"Tucker mentions on more than one occasion in the book that since IHTSBIH was released, it became less about him chasing after girls and more about girls ch
asing after him." Now, after AFF was released, it's less about girls chasing him, and more about talking to teenage boys about how girls used to chase after him IHTSBIH was released but before his movie was released and failed. He calls them his post-post fame stories which will be part of his new book "Hilarity Ensues." The first half of the book is Tucker rehashing some of the same stories from law school and college and his epic partying and hook ups; the second part of the post-post stories will be about hanging around college bookstores and telling teenage boys about the life lessons he learned and the need for complete creative control of everything. There is also a small part about his stint as Ryan Holiday's intern's intern.

Anonymous said...

Well, I was actually "hot, sane, and recently single" when I randomly met the other poster above who was "hot, sane and single" who randomly met Tucker. I randomly left the "hot, sane, and single' girl who randomly met Tucker as well because she quite honestly bored me when she told me about the story when she randomly met Tucker and randomly left him. Then this random hot, sane and single girl started randomly sending me emails about some ridiculous story that Tucker was trying to tell about the random hot, sane, and single girl and I have numerous emails and texts to prove that this random girl randomly contacted me and begged me to come back and read her emails about the time that Tucker begged her to come back. Then she randomly told me that Nils suffocated her with his fatness and bloated script. I think what I am trying to say in a random way, is that Nils is really really fat.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:54 am, I really need to get your email through a different route i guess bc I'd love to compare stories... just trusting you're not actually him or someone related but to be quite honest, I don't care. It's so plain stupid at this point, but just like TDG said, it's fun mocking him. When you actually had involvement with him proving him a liar, why not call him out? He called me out and I haven't bothered going back at him bc it's pointless. Just his idea of sex is so horrible that he sucks in bed and no, he's not 6 feet tall as we all know. That's funny that he is so adamant about lying about that! Who cares!? He loves little people so much (yeah right) so why try to be so tall. I actually talked to his latest ex once and Bunny more than once. Again, the only self examination needed is his own. Fat tits (sorry to anyone obese- I truly hold no disdain for you and he is an insult to people like you) "pig human" (I LOVED that term in the Natzi Youtube spoof!!) needs something too, but I find it may go back to his Oakland roots and why he finds the constant need to always in his first description of his now wife say that she comes from TONS of family money and is a very accomplished attorney. All the while, Tucker says he hates attorneys. The whole thing was weird. It's like he loves Nils and why? His B.A. from CAl? What else do you do with that anyway?? I guess we know!

Anonymous said...

New interview with a blogger is begging for deconstruction

"Tucker Max is living the dream. "

Sure, ever boy grows up with the dream of living in a grungy apartment alone trying to pay of a 7 figure debt to lenders and investors.

"Since his early twenties, the author of Assholes Finish First has been getting blackout drunk, chasing women and generally indulging every hedonistic whim to the end of compiling the stories of his wild and often shockingly hilarious exploits (one ends in him covered in his own feces, for example) into book form."

This should be included in the definition of run on sentences. In simple terms: "Tucker is one of those guys that tries too hard just so that he can tell his buddies about it afterward."

"He hit on that formula with 2006's I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell, which has been on the New York Times best-seller list since its release, and now he's doing it again."

Tucker did what most people do not do and "overshared" about his collegey hijinks and sabotaged the prospects of any legitimate career, meaning he could not use his law degree to practice law. Since that time, he has tried to make a modest living as a writer of poopies stories and failed at every other endeavor.

"In advance of his book signing tonight at the Tattered Cover,"

30 local High School kids went to a clearing in the woods where they usually do whip-its and drink beer stolen from their parent's garage refrigerator, and talked about how awesome Tucker is.

"Westword caught up with Max to talk Assholes, empathy versus narcissism and growing up and out of it."

Yes, Westwood, but no other media bothered to show up. The editor of the High School newspaper who planned to attend, got too stoned on whip-its and forgot about it.

Anonymous said...

"Westword: Is Assholes Finish First going to be basically in the same narrative vein as I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, like a collection of stories?"

No, it's completely different narrative vein than a collection of stories. It's more like a varicose vein on the leg of an 81 year old diabetic woman's foot; and it's more like a "collection" of pus from a syphilitic's canker sore, than stories. But great softball question there Tucker nuthugger.


"Tucker Max: It's almost exactly the same. "

Yes, in fact, every story I have ever told is "exactly the same." Here's how I make up the stories: It's Tucker is cool. Chicks love Tucker. Lesser men grovel and bow to Tucker's greatness.

"Like, it's a collection of stories just like Beer in Hell. "

What did you expect from Tucker? Something that would require a little effort, like a novel? Of, course, it's the same crap I have been posting on my website since 2002.

"The thing that's a little bit different about Assholes Finish First -- because it's the same voice, same style, same subject matter"

At least he is honest here. Yes, I expect you to pay $14.00 to read the same crap you probably had enough of about half way through Beer in Hell.

"-- what's a little bit different is the second half of Assholes Finish First is what I call the "post-fame sex stories," and it's sort of a collection of stories that do have kind of an underlying theme,"

In other words, the second half of the book is where I introduce the new character, which is the creepy 30 year old D-celebrity that hangs around college chicks and drunk frat boys, because I look moderately cool in that world, which distracts me from how pathetic I look among my 30 year old peers. In other words, I try very hard to look cool and make it look like it's fun if college continued for another 8 years, and you had to continue to tolerate the idiots that seemed so funny up until half way through Junior year.

"And I and the theme is just sort of how weird and different it is when girls come to you like -- you know, when you're just a normal guy, even if you have good game, you've got to go out and pick up girls. Once you become famous -- or infamous, or whatever -- then you get girls who start coming to you to hook up."

So, it's kind of like the story of a D-list celebrity that gets it on with fame whores. Like, if Ian Ziering of 90210 fame told of stories where chicks approached him at hotel pools to try and upgrade from the blogger guy they were doing.

"And I still got into all sorts of weird, crazy situations, but they were just different."

Because while it is a bit inappropriate to continue to hook up with 18 year old fame whores as a 25 year old washed up teen actor, it's ridiculously creepy to do it as a 35 year old failed lawyer at a college bar.

"And so that's sort of the theme of the second half of the book."

Great, so in other words, even if I liked the first half of Beer in Hell, there is no reason to read beyond the first ten pages of this piece of crap.

Anonymous said...

"WW: That's interesting, because it seems from what you've written before like you enjoy the chase, or the challenge of winning girls over by being a dick, right? But when girls are approaching you because you're famous, that kind of changes the dynamic. Do you miss the chase?"

Who says I miss the chase? I have to travel from college bar to college bar in different towns to chase tail. If I stay in any one place for any time, my 35 year old creepy college stalker gets old very quick.

"TM: Yeah, that's a good question,"

Yeah, buddy. This is a very probing interview. It sounds nothing like a guy with a gushing man crush tossing softballs.

"and, I mean, it's different."

See, at 23, I actually belonged in college bars, and it was pretty cool being able to pick up a drunk bored college chick. But it's different in a creepy way now. It's like somewhere between creepy ham handed uncle and pedophile priest.

"In some ways it's better, man."

But, in some ways its worse. if you are picking up fame whores, then you might lose them to a bigger celebrity, like a C-lister like Steve from 90210.

"I'd be a liar if I said there's nothing good about girls coming to me to hook up [laughs]."

In fact, I'd be a liar if I said almost anything other than, "Hi, I'm Tucker and I am a liar and a douchebag."

"Like of course, there's an obvious benefit to that. But then, on the other hand, you're right, man, hooking up does lose some of what made it fun, which is kind of the challenge and the game and the interaction with somebody else. "

It's kind of like the let down that a pedophile feels in having to score with children.

"You know, everything in life is a trade-off, and the issue that I explore is what's good about it and what's bad about it."

Jeffry Dahmer had the same problem with the folks he had to chop up and eat. I mean, it's good eating, but the trade off is that you can't have sex with them any more.

"WW: I want to talk about this persona that you've cultivated, which is basically "I'm the world's biggest asshole."

Hey, that's not true. Joe Francis won the world's biggest asshole contest. If it was a douchebag contest, I would win hands down. . . but I can't compete with Francis. He has been doing it longer and makes a lot more money than I do.

"TM: Well, I don't think I'm the world's biggest. There are other guys who are bigger assholes than me. I am a big one, who writes about it."

I mean, I was first runner up in the contest, but again. . . Joe Francis just takes it to a whole new level. And he is a multi-millionaire with his own jet; and I am a guy with a laptop and a studio apartment.

Anonymous said...

"Westword: Is Assholes Finish First going to be basically in the same narrative vein as I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, like a collection of stories?"No, it's completely different narrative vein than a collection of stories. It's more like a varicose vein on the leg of an 81 year old diabetic woman's foot; and it's more like a "collection" of pus from a syphilitic's canker sore, than stories. But great softball question there Tucker nuthugger. "Tucker Max: It's almost exactly the same. "Yes, in fact, every story I have ever told is "exactly the same." Here's how I make up the stories: It's Tucker is cool. Chicks love Tucker. Lesser men grovel and bow to Tucker's greatness. "Like, it's a collection of stories just like Beer in Hell. "What did you expect from Tucker? Something that would require a little effort, like a novel? Of, course, it's the same crap I have been posting on my website since 2002. "The thing that's a little bit different about Assholes Finish First -- because it's the

Anonymous said...

@ 1:02pm I don't know you because I never told anyone of my "random" meeting with Tucker and definitely didn't show the emails for sure. It was actually embarassing at the time as I was reeling from a bad break up and hence ended up talking to the douche, but now I don't really care. That said, Nils is really fat and beyond that, just a lazy pig.

Anonymous said...

@9:59 You must be lying because I am a hot, sane and single friend of the hot, sane, and single person, who randomly met the hot, young, and single girl reeling from a breakup who randomly met Tucker; and I know that my hot, sane and single friend is definitely telling the truth about randomly meeting a hot, sane and single girl reeling from a breakup who had a random meeting with Tucker. The only thing that makes me think that maybe you are telling me the truth about being a hot, sexy, and single girl reeling from a breakup who randomly met Tucker is that your description of Nils as a fat lazy pig is spot on; and that Tucker is a douche. Only someone who actually had a random meeting with Tucker and Nils could describe them that accurately.

Anonymous said...

@9:59 and 10:29 I think that what everybody is really trying to say in kind of a random way about that random meeting is that Nils is really, really fat and that he would immediately disgust a hot, sane, and recently single girl, if not suffocate them with his bloated fatness.

Anonymous said...

@9:59, 10:29, and 10:35 If I could make a random comment here, I would like to add to this discussion in a random way by stating that if a hot, sane, and recently girl were confronted at a random meeting with the fatness of Nils and the douchiness of Tucker, she would be disgusted and embarrassed; and somewhat reluctant to share emails and texts randomly with anybody, no less a hot, sane, and recently single person.

Anonymous said...

@9:59, 10:29, 10:35, 10:38. I am butt-ugly, batshit crazy, and poly amorous and I met Tucker at a meeting that we had planned for many months and I found every word and phrase that emitted from his pie hole to be incredibly riveting and fascinating. I couldn't leave him because I found him and his acquaintances to be mesmerizing. Tucker proceeded to not write any story about me even though I put on a strap on and had my way with him anally for several hours. I have no emails or texts but he begged me to meet him on many occasions to violate him with my strap on again and again. I found the script to be the best script ever written and I am sure that the movie will be a huge hit in some format other than movies or DVD that is yet to be discovered and that Tucker will be hailed a genius. Nils is indeed fat but I also enjoyed penetrating his fat rolls with my strap on until he rolled over on me and almost suffocated me.

Anonymous said...

@5:25 "That you're still updating...to me, at least, is not sad. It is not douch-ey. It's a little fucking scary. I am actually *made uncomfortable* by this website. This should be an alarm bell for you. Examine yourself.'

Thanks for the heads up. Acting on your tip, I stripped down and gave myself a pretty good examination. Sure enough, I don't like the looks of a mole on chest that could be cancer. It has set off a few alarm bells for me and I am going to see a doctor. On a positive note, my penis did look a bit bigger than I remembered, but when I tucked it back for a laugh, it did look fucking scary.

Anonymous said...

Wow... It would seem that anyone who has read anything of Tucker's and has had any interaction with him would know that there HAVE in fact been several encounters with some hot, sane, single girls. The question lies in how the story went from there and ended. He lies. We know this. Nils is fat. We know this. It also seems he is now living somewhere in BFE because his wife is having to support them AGAIN. And then of course Tucker is in a shithole in Austin labeled "apt A" which speaks volumes. Albeit he found it relevant to twitter he took his range rover in for servicing the other day, I would assume just to say he has a range rover. Bravo... he leased possibly the worst made SUV on the planet aside from the Hummer that as we know, is no longer being manufactured. More proof he is a douche. I'm not quite sure

Anonymous said...

I recently read some of the shit of his book online. I found it odd the publisher was posting the beginnings and endings of chapters online to begin. Then after reading the parts about these "hot, sane, single" chicks, I was confused even more. He supposedly speaks "positively" about his ex then writes what he did which didn't end positive. He says he met a double doctorate that made a diagnosis of "tachycardia" when I don't know any doctor that would say that is a diagnosis. In addition, why wouldn't she say the dog was much more critical and she needed to stay and monitor it? The insulin/diabetic story is just sad and ridiculous. I truly think that anyone could make up better stories about the past year of their life and write 400 pages that were more entertaining and believeable than what I read. I had to stop after that chapter/part alone.

Anonymous said...

@11:03 And I thought I was the only one!! You bitch! Did you get Bunny in on it too? I even got him strapped to her vintage velvet couch while Nils watched talking to his wife the whole time jerking off. At least I think that's what it was because I couldn't really see his penis due to the fat. I noticed a chicken bone fall out of the rolls at some point though. Then Tucker asked me to do his laundry in which I responded by tying him to his dog's leash and whipped him in the garage while he did mine and his himself. It was great. He begged me back too, probably in between begging you because he just can't get enough of the abuse, hence the failed book following the failed movie.

Anonymous said...

Anyone see Jackass 3D made $50 mil on a $19 mil budget opening wknd? Do the math. I'm actually surprised it even cost them $19 mil BUT it IS in 3D and I'm sure the actors pay is a little steep now. I'm sure it was all because of the director and distribution...

Anonymous said...

@ 10/12 5:25

Tucker was on Nightline tonight and has a new book on the bestseller list. Not sure how much more relevant you'd need it to be.

Anonymous said...

assuming this last comment was in response to the person that sounded like Tucker himself or one of his drones (10/13 5:25).... yeah, it seems the guy is back with his book that is 4 years late due to the movie, blah blah blah.... What's disturbing us all is that there is ANOTHER book and it's getting ANY mainstream media albeit he is crying that they are bleeping him out in his interviews, in pure Tucker fashion of course. As mentioned before, it seems we've all had some kind of encounter with the imbecile. Best seller or not, I don't know how he can redeem himself after that joke of a "movie." To top it off, the redemption was SUPPOSED to be the book and it sucks too. It sounds 10 times more fabricated than the last one. I think someone else mentioned that if he just wrote funny stories and didn't claim them to be true or that HE himself did them, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. This latest book (no I did not buy it, nor could I read all of it) is like he just got lazy and tired of writing and kinda made up half a story then jotted some shit down, the end. And if you wanna talk about scary, that's scary he was on Nightline. Was it to warn all fathers of young girls to beware? Could it have been a "heads up" for the colleges that the douche is still touring. Who knows. Just goes to show that anyone can get media attention.

Anonymous said...

AFF I believe started at #4, then was #5, this week is #7 on the NYTimes Bestseller List for Hardcover Non-Fiction.

I would have to presume that his messageboard being killed and his website being, pretty much shut down, affected his sales. Outside of a certain niche of buyers, no one really cares about this guy. Mainstream media isn't going to give him that much attention because his stories just aren't newsworthy.

I'll be interested to see what he puts in Hilarity Ensues. I'd have to assume it will include a lot of stories about his movie tour (the movie itself is barely mentioned in AFF). Regardless, at some point the independent readers who haven't fawned all over him since 2003 will stop purchasing his books because Tucker is going to come across as being a pathetic loser. He's 35, pretends to live a life like he's 25 and has the maturity of a 15 year old.

Yes there are certain groups in college who will hook up with older dudes, but most of the 19-22 year olds look at guys like Tucker in their mid-30s as being rejects.

Anonymous said...

What's up with the non-fiction hardcover deal? He originally said it was going straight to paperback, now they have this signed edition crap but you can still get the paperback...sketchy as always. Dumb girls will do what they will do. It amazes me he was quoted in calling women in their thirties as "irreparably damaged" and that he wouldn't date them. Just a tad hypocritical.. I guess you can't have two in the family. Good luck to him. Maybe he can convert to some fundamentalist religion and find a nice 14 year old to settle down with at the compound once this all blows over.

Anonymous said...

1) The dialogue in this book sounds like Tucker wrote the lines for everyone. It's not the same as the first one.

2) I tried to go into it with an open mind, but my god. It reads like stale sadness. Tucker, you are too old for the shit you're pulling and not sophisticated enough to continue doing it in any way that doesn't read as pathetic.

3) He's going to reopen his forum. He has to. He's got projects and no one to talk to about them. No one that will kiss his ass, anyway.

Anonymous said...

@ 2:34
You nailed it! It DID sound like just that. I couldn't put my finger on it, but that's what it was. I knew it sounded fabricated, but yeah, just like he took stories then wrote the made up dialogue. BTW.. I saw last night that his "movie" is on TMC now. It didn't even go to PPV??!!

Anonymous said...

I saw the movie on TMC while surfing channels. I made myself stop for less than one minute to see the bad lighting and directing... OMFG I ended up watching Karate Kid (new version) which I knew was going to suck, but at least I could laugh at it.

Anonymous said...

I am in the book too. Tucker just dumped me without even saying anything, like he couldn't stand me - like I smelled bad or something! he's just so unreliable to those who have been with him for so long, almost like they're part of him. Hmph. Well, let's just see how well he gets along without me, so there!

- Tucker's Poop

Anonymous said...

Go to this interview:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lWOu5TVwqo

and freeze it at about the 20-second mark. Tucker's going bald! Hahahahahaha.

Assholes bald first.

Anonymous said...

http://voxday.blogspot.com/2010/11/wisdom-of-tucker-max.html

Anonymous said...

Tucker's initial comment doesn't make complete sense. He can't be that popular, if he's going on honesty, and then say the world is a bunch of liars who hate the truth.

Anonymous said...

Yeah it's not real clear. I think what he means is that he's "honest" but that he does so in a manner that makes people entertained and it is only that combination that works.

If you read the Tuckerblog entry linked to from there it makes some more sense. (Although it also includes typical Tucker crap about how popular and successful he is, and how real people always have been debauched and 20+ sex partners isn't slutty, and so on ... basically just applying his own behavior as the standard by which to judge all human behavior in history, which is BS)

Anonymous said...

To Tucker's credit, the piece he wrote about the Duke girl was probably the most honest thing he's written. That's not saying much, I know, but I have to give a positive before I start shitting on Tucker.

I finally saw the movie. For those who wonder about PPV above, yes I remember when it was On Demand ... no I would never pay.

When I say I saw the movie, what I really mean is I sat through the first 30 minutes. Got bored. Decided to do laundry instead.

It was on again a couple weeks later and so I sat through a little under an hour of the crap. I stopped at the Wedding "toast" scene because it was just so unwatchable I was begging for the ending.

The "poop" scene that was built up as being "the greatest thing in movies in 2009" was a disappointment. Reminds me of Dumb and Dumber, a little, only Dumb and Dumber was 100x funnier and they didn't have to get graphic at all. D&D was funny because Jeff Daniels was a great actor. You didn't see shit flying everywhere, you could just tell by facial expressions and the acting that it was the greatest shit ever taken. Sorry Czuchry. You aren't good. You can blame your writers and directors if you'd like. They wrote and directed a shitty movie.

Tucker's "stories" are fun (but difficult) to read, but they'll never be great on screen. I think it's because I hate the character. He's not likeable. Go around and tell people they're flaws. Somewhat funny, but then fail to admit any of your own. In the movie you were almost cheering for the character to go down in flames. He's that one guy who you keep around only because every now and then he says or does something hilarious. Then the other 95% of the time you have to put up with his bullshit and sometimes put out his fires.

Now what does he have to show for it? A languishing, diminishing writing career based on antics and qualities that are somewhat amusing for a 20 year old, borderline creepy for a 30 year old, and sad and pathetic for a 40 year old. Aside from Tucker acknowledging he has to grow up and settle down, he also has to find a new career path. He blew out his chance in TV/Film. His writing is piss poor and successful only because people find his stories amusing. Those stories will be less amusing in 5-6 years for the reasons above. The internet site may have made him money, but he shut it down because everyone called him out for being a liar. It got so bad that the long time friends/supporters stopped checking in. I'll be slightly curious to see what he does next, only because as much fun as it is to see the guy brag about his success through book/film, it is equally as funny to watch him fail.

Anonymous said...

I like how you bitch and moan about someone who publishes a book, but post a link to promote it and charge a fee of your own to rip it off. Ride those coat tails, ass monger.

Anonymous said...

Erin Tyler is doing terrific. Looks like she hasn't stopped eating since leaving Tucker. Tucker really pulls the hotties doesn't he? No issues there: http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=463577687691&set=a.447592037691.243306.577342691&pid=5461360&id=577342691

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Erin, his ex just announced she is pregnant to her new husband Ian Ziering that she dumped Tucker for. Seems it's pretty much a honeymoon baby after a wedding resulting from less than a year of dating. That is eating his ass for sure. He claims he dumped her, but the dates don't add up as he was apparently still talking to her when she met Ian at the Roosevelt pool on Labor Day. LMAO

Anonymous said...

@ November 9, 2010 2:38 PM

What the fuck are you talking about?

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Anonymous said...

Assholes Finish Last - the book has bombed just like his catastrophic movie. In just a few months, it has dropped to a 300 sales rank at Amazon. This equates to roughly 40 books a day, ie, he makes $40 a day/$20,000 a year as a writer. The revolutionary artist has Tucker Max Failed. Ha Ha.

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Remains to be seen if it actually IS per year, or if it'll continue dropping off to the point where he sells one per day, or per week. And how fast it gets there.

Say, 3 months from now?

At that point he might be facing eviction for lack of cash.

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