There's kind of a lot to talk about in Tuckerland these days- and as usual for all things Tucker, most of it concerns the deafening silence surrounding Tucker's TEICM (Totally Epic, Industry-Changing Movie. Obviously.).
I was originally going to write something about the recently-posted email exchanges between Tucker and Mr.X- http://tinyurl.com/lk56aw, scroll down to 6/17/2009, 9:42, AM to see the exchanges- but that matter is rather self-explanatory, and of course we'll have to wait until Tucker's highly artistic, beautiful, moving film releases to see how that bears out.
Instead, I'd just like to briefly draw attention to something I like to call the art of deconstruction. If you're reading this, you're likely already aware of the bright new star in the 'Tucker Hater' pantheon, Deconstruction Guy, or as I think we should all refer to him going forward, 'The Deconstructor' (come on, try telling me that's not a cool nickname). Basically, this guy began by breaking down some of Tucker's movie-blog posts with biting, compelling commentary, but now he's moved on to deconstruct Tucker's really awesome and hilarious artistic stories in the same manner. I'll not repost the stories here, since most of this blog's readers are already aware of them, but if you haven't read The Deconstructor's work yet, please do yourself a favor- go here: http://tinyurl.com/lg92mo, scroll to the entry at 6/29/2009, 2:08 PM, and enjoy yourself. Keep reading the subsequent entries, as there are quite a few entries from The Deconstructor. It's truly one of the most focused and lucid analyses of the Max mythos you'll find anywhere, and it draws attention to many of the issues in Tucker's alleged 'writing' that betray his foolishness. Especially illuminating is The Deconstructor's treatment of Tucker's hockey-game story.
In all candor, I'm surprised that Tuck hasn't found some way to indirectly respond, as The Deconstructor has completely pieced him at every turn. Light, I think you should think about offering a writing spot to The Deconstructor on this blog; it would be like trading for Kevin Garnett- we'd be the Big Three of the Tucker-hater movement.
The art of deconstruction is the art of looking past Tucker's bravado, his 'smarter-than-you' attitude, and his 'I've already proven myself; what, didn't you know?' disposition to actually think rationally about what he says and what he does. The Deconstructor's work is an excellent example of this. Another is what I alluded to in my last post, 'A Check Your Ass Can't Cash', in which I considered the disparity between what Tucker says/promises/alludes to, and what actually comes to pass. He has a miserable track record (remember when he said he was going to do a big breakdown of the storyboard, with Frame Forge, etc.? Remember the 'tons of new video, pictures, and interviews' he promised? And he STILL hasn't given the world its promised distribution deal breakdown- what a joke, considering everyone interested sort of knows it anyhow, thanks to this blog and the doucebag-blog), and there seems to be a strange parallel between what Tucker thinks and wants others to think (amazingly revolutionary, everything just keeps on getting better and better) and what actually appears to be transpiring (a pretty standard playout for a low-budget movie with marginal talent, based on a niche property).
The point is that the more one follows this guy, the more one begins to recognize not only the need to look past his smoke-and-mirrors approach to public discourse (a necessary one, given his record of performance), but the ease with which it can be done. That's the art of deconstruction, and Tuckster's like a clean palette for it.
The Deconstructor is the bright new star in the Tucker-Hater universe. Let's raise our glasses to him and hope that he continues to work his magic in our midst, as Tucker's incredibly provocative, heartfelt and meaningful epic art film moves closer to its release.
Vive le doucebag blog! Vive le Fuck Tucker Max blog! Vive Le Deconstructor!
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33 comments:
The Deconstructor is teh awesome. He deconstructs Tucker's stories, and doesn't afraid of anything.
No, he certainly doesn't afraid of anything.
Deconstructor, give us some more love.
Why don't you just cut and paste them here, before they are lost at the sea that is the 6000+ comments from the TMIADB board.
This is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker
YAY! mr mcbeefjerks is back! now let's all go back to talking about tucker's cock.
It's a repeat, but a classic nonetheless: a perfect depiction of TM's douchebaggedness, his tiny body parts, and his limp-wristed fighting style.
You say he embelishes, yet you still scorn him?
You're a walking contradiction. Get a life, man. Tucker Max is just a low form of entertainment.
Nobody gives a fuck about you or Tucker Max. And I guarantee they give a lot less of a care about you.
Have your family life and stop trying to control shit. Weirdo.
^^^ What the hell are you talking about?
The haterz don't even care enough to keep talking about him. Isn't that the final sign of Tucker Max Fail?
I am confused. If you hate tucker max so much, why did you make a website about it? Its like the jock in high school who was a total homophobe but is secretly gay. Who REALLY cares if tucker is full of shit.
"Who REALLY cares if tucker is full of shit."
Anybody who despises or is amused by lying sad sacks who have to make up all sorts of imaginary adventures to try to pretend their daddy doesn't hate them.
Wait, I just made myself feel vaguely sympathetic towards Tucker. UGH. Make it go AWAAAAYYYYY
Tucker needs to be honest about himself and who he is and what he actually does. That is the one thing he DOESN'T do, while repeatedly claiming it is. Reality is going to call him on it, soon.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention - also, because Tucker is just a total asshole and sociopath to people for no reason, and DESERVES to be smacked for it. As described in the "Who is Tucker Max? Read." post over thisaway: http://tinyurl.com/m83cvd
http://hubpages.com/hub/Tucker-Max-The-Movie-A-Huge-Failure-In-The-Making
i agree the deconstructor is a cool nickname.... seriously??? for anyone above elementary school?? youre trying to make something of yourself because a guy wrote a book (true or not, i'll still buy it), made money off it, and you don't have shit. why dont you waste your time doing something more productive for society....perhaps standing in front of a firing range.
ok so you people are fucking ridiculous. first off by making these sites...you are helping make him more famous...which is why he wont comment, he will read some, MAYBE, and laugh and realize that he is indeed smarter than you cause...he was able to get his writing published...i understand that you douchebags are jealous of his life and what he is able to do...hell it may even have been your wife or girlfriends he fucked. And to say things like.."tuckers highly artistic movie" and shit is not funny...everyone knows it will be in the genre of his book...which is geared towards guys who enjoyed his writing...honestly if you have to come onto the internet and start blogs?? about how he is a liar is FUCKING SAD. seriously go out and try fucking a girl or two...and get off your computer no wonder you are all jealous, tucker is out there banging bitches and you guys are here masturbating to anime porn honestly go fuck yourselves...im more than 10 years younger than tucker and ive managed to fuck as many as 40 chicks and im not in college yet or really leaving my towns area...it is not hard and not impossible. Tucker Max is a God among men and should be awarded for his work...but i guess in the end thats what you guys are really doing...even while trying to do the opposite, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, isn't it a bitch? oh well...I too hope they serve beer in hell...but im REALLY hoping that it is not rodeo cool. good luck...you fucking meat gazers:)
to Tuckermaxisgod
Let me start with this:
1.) I am ex Military
2.)I am a College Grad
3.) I've never jerked off to, or even seen anime porn
4.) I will concede the fact that an open forum to discuss Mr. Max is indeed a contribution and validation of his celebrity
5.)Tucker's stories are indeed funny, however I truly believe they have the same amount of truth in them as say "Alice in Wonderland" or other such flights of fancy.
6.) No, I am not jealous of anyone who can go from bar to bar and bed a large amount of girls who were most likely abused by their fathers, have no self esteem, drink themselves to a point where they dont realize that they have a tit hanging out of what passes for a shirt, and would generally fall under the categorization of "Hood Rat".
7.) I like to drink, and love Sex
8.) I am not jealous of a man who is a published writer. I commend someone who can achieve any level of success in their chosen profession, and Max is no exception. I commend the fact that he has been able to market his image as his brand and capitalize on a niche audience for his own personal gain.
In College I too engaged in acts of "Maxian" depravity (Ill give you a second to look that up on dictionary.com) and general drunken debauchery. I had fun, and of course I have my own stories. Max's stories are not what makes him loathed by so many people (as I have mentioned, they have entertainment value), it is the conception that much of what he has written, he represents as cold hard incontrovertible fact (Hope you kept that dictionary.com window open big guy). And what re-iterates your own profound stupidity is that not only do you lap up all his filth like Chasey Lain in a gang bang, its that you defend it with the passion of an Islamic zealot. The simple fact that if the stories were embellishment, they would not lose any entertainment value. The problem is that in a true showing of complete narcissism, Max asserts his own "awesomeness" through his prose, and even claims to hate "posers". In embellishing his own experiences or compiling the experiences of others and passing them off as his own, he has become the thing he claims to hate. He often berates his own inner circle, the people who support him the most (Im talking about the sycophants that worhip at the altar of Max, people like you my man). He deletes anything negative about him on his blogs.
You described never leaving "your town" however still fucking 40 chicks. Im going to wager that your town has a population less than 100,000, and that you no doubt have shared sexual partners with at least five of your bros that graduated High school with you (not to mention that these so called sexual conquests of yours will probably amount to little more than a clerk at the local ABC store who spends their days drinking peppermint schnapps, watching Oprah, lamenting the fact that her vagina is more bombed out than Hiroshima, and raising a brood of children who will no doubt make stellar contributions to the rampant mediocrity of small town America).
I actually found this blog while searching for information on Tucker's movie, since I did enjoy his stories (however, after reviewing the trailer and other information on the film, I'm convinced this should be a straight to DVD). The reason I respond (Aside from the fact that football games have an obscene amount of commercials), is because due to your blind and ignorant hero worship of Max, instead of taking his work at face value, you prove to me that the vast majority of males in my age bracket are morons of an unimaginable magnitude, and you give all of us a bad name. So have fun in your continued pursuits of mediocre at best girls with double digit IQs, and enjoy your future as a low level insurance salesman paying child support on 25k and a commission, just so your mildly retarded love child can get a piss poor education at your local public school, just like daddy.
By the way, Meat-Gazers? who the fuck uses the term Meat Gazers?
^^^ Owned.
Don't mind 'tuggermaxisgod' he's just an 18yr old virgin with identity issues; i'm sure he'll grow out of them eventually. Maybe.
I want that ass pirate to respond back
haha well i would love to use dictionary.com...but i really dont need to...and i apologize for not replying to this...I personally have a life and cannot sit around my mommy's basement jerking off to porn...also you have no idea where i come from, how old i am or what i do...and i can tell you that you got nothing right in the waste of time you called a comment
1) you are a fucking idiot...and the fact that you use large words to make up for the fact that you actually have no argument is fucking sad.
2) you are indeed jealous of such a man as tucker max, even though you all seem to despise him for lying...well who gives a fuck
3) if all we had to listen to and watch was hard truth...id put a fucking exhaust pipe through my heart, ive yet to understand why you people hate entertainment...at least i am able to take it all with a grain of salt and laugh. I find it really sad that you fucking losers take no joy in life...and ya lets berate a guy who conquered university and has fraternity style stories...while watching football...makes sense? so rather than sending you to your site that you swear by...what was it dictionary.com? i'll leave this in fairly common text for you...prose as you call it hahaha well lets hate his writing for not being written like shakespeare and write in iambic pentameter...look it up if you like...and i use meat gazer cause i found it funny in a movie...but right you all hate life so much that comedy is stupid...fuck off you fuckin faggots
^^^ Tuckermaxisgod, do you type with your chin or something? You might as well- you obviously think with your ass.
1.) I am very aware of what Iambic pentameter is, every sophomore high school kid in the country knows what that is. Using that particular reference in a futile attempt to berate my intelligence is like bringing a knife to a gun fight.
2.) Hate to break it to you, cold hard fact is what life and society is based around, get used to it
3.) I drive a 60,000 car and wear a 4,000 dollar watch, all of which I WORKED for, and actually use areas outside of my "reptilian" brain. PS Im 25
4.) I am also a fraternity member (founding chapter actually)
5.) Why would I be jealous of him? As I said before, I have respect for success in any field, it takes a special kind of person to do that, Max is no different
6.) No I don't know you, however your own comments tip your hand. Sorry, as someone who is quite astute at observing the (obviously tragic, to you) cold hard truths and facts, I have no choice. (This is what I get paid for by the way).
7.) As stated before I enjoy Tucker's stories, he's a funny bastard. Honestly I feel that it would be endless free entertainment to hang out with the guy.
8.) My point was simply that you in your hero worship of Max, and the fact that you simply take anything that is thrown at you as fact, makes you an immeasurable dildo (and because, god forbid you actually, I dont know, THINK about something. Wait, I know why, because that might result in you wanting to "put a fucking exhaust pipe in your heart" (by the way the use of car exhaust as a means of suicide relies on hypoxia as a means of death, not heart failure or trauma, its simply oxygen deprivation to the vital tissues, although, If you are down with putting on show and traumatizing your family in death, by all means, pursue the 'large amounts of hardened metal at high velocity driven through soft tissue with a considerable amount of force' method-should work out for you, and with any luck turn your sister into one of those sad human beings that need a dick in them to feel any sense of validation, also known as those amazing women that you have made a sexual career out of pursuing.)
9.) Bottom line, I despise people like you, no matter where you come from. I do like Tucker's stories, I don't envy him as I have success in my own field as he does. I do not live in my "mommy's basement". I do find life to be obscenely boring and methodical (after experiencing the randomness of a life spent recklessly), and you are a monumental Idiot
haha well as far as the whole exhaust pipe thing goes if i were to take a pipe and ram it through my chest...i dont think suffocation is exactly what would kill me...at least not by monoxide poisoning...and you are exactly the kind of person i despise...i have never and will never worship tucker max ever, it was just really funny to know that by just having that name i could get fucking morons, like everyone who has since commented, to have a fucking fit and try to argue and berate me haha...so mr. astute, did i tip that hand to you haha
Yep
also
1.) there is no such thing as "monoxide poisoning', actually, good luck finding monoxide.
2.) I said Hypoxia, you idtot, not asphyxia (apparently reading isnt one of your strong suits either)
3.) You called him a God among men. last I checked, thats about as close to the definition of worship as you can get
4.) I was actually advocating your use of the "exhaust pipe thing... if i were to take a pipe and ram it through my chest..." however, there is no doubt that someone of your obviously WELL above average intellect would know that there are far more efficient ways to accomplish the same goal. A good example of this would be a .45 cal bullet to the temporal lobe. Personally I recommend jacketed hollow points. Ensures a hell of a lot more soft tissue damage. They mushroom to about three times their their penetration surface area upon impact with a hard target, you can almost guarantee a closed casket funeral. All in all, the world loses another douchebag, and your mother gets to have her last memory of her son be a scattered pink mist on some wall.
You're an idiot.
hahah ya good idea when im looking to commit suicide ill look into it and also buddy by inhaling the monoxide which is in car exhaust causes the body to take on the the act of choking same as chlorine...and same as zyklon b...so really its exactly what i said...also i feel that impaling something into your chest would be a very efficient way of dieing...especially through the heart... you would almost die instantly...and it would be alot cleaner than your prefered method...im REALLY glad you flunked out of the military or pussied out or whatever so that you have to time to argue with me about this hahaha seriously i could give a fuck about tucker max...his movie (although i will go see it) or anyone on here lol i have a fantastic life and i would want nothing less than to end it but your right im a douchebag because you said so on the INTERNET...i already told you smart guy i was here to stir shit...and for believing yourself to be way above average intellect you sure seem to find it really tough to grasp that...is it cause once you realize that the entire time it was for my entertainment...while you were being serious...than you will realize that no one but the faggots who spend all day on this fucking stupid blog being a waste of oxygen and life in general, actually give a fuck about your little made up fantasy world...and than what would you have hahaha nothing and life would suck for you...thank god for the internet to keep fucking retarded little losers who have nothing for them in the real world to keep pulling through and living on the internet...congratulations you win the argument... but winning an argument on this site is really being like the smartest kid with downs syndrome so give yourself a pat on the back and go rub one out while thinking about how COOL you are cause all these super fags and nerds liked your comment...you are a fucking retard and almost make me feel sorry for you...almost
^^^ You are seriously retarded, and I'm only leaving this comment up as a monument to your stupidity. The funny part, though, is that you perfectly represent the stream-of-thought and articulation skill of the average Tucker Max fan. Nice going.
haha all you have to say to me is that im retarded wow...i dont know what to say...you have me at a loss...you people are completely pathetic i almost feel sorry for you...but not at all?
Honestly I admire your ability to prove me to be a retard (I didnt post that comment about you being a retard by the way) by saying "it was my intent to stir shit", and "I dont give a shit about Tucker Max". Thats a great argument. I think my kid sister employed the same tactic, and shes a solid 7 years younger than me. I remember that argument when I was 14. I think it was along the lines of "daddy, he made me cry".
HOWEVER, you were incredibly boisterous in the explanation of your own exploits as a means to further your own argument and call anyone who commented on this subject a social reject, but now, all of a sudden you are a maniacal genius who uses the aforementioned (by you) socially stigmatizing internet to berate people who OBVIOUSLY cant get laid (by the way Ive read your previous posts on other subjects, and to be honest they dont deviate far from the "ive stuck my prick in many an unknown hole, therefore Im awesome" argument. Guess what, so have I, and you are still a monumental asshole.
Now all of a sudden the internet is where 30+ year old angry virgins hang out to sling hateful words at the lifestyle of the socially proficient (who we obviously wish we were), not just a place where YOU respond with a completely unsupported argument laced with typed laughter (you have to have a verbal representation of your own indifference, right?) to heighten your weak points in a sad attempt at superiority.
By the way Shakespeare, when you construct a response to me, make sure it is in acceptable English. Here's a case in point:
"i already told you smart guy i was here to stir shit...and for believing yourself to be way above average intellect you sure seem to find it really tough to grasp that...is it cause once you realize that the entire time it was for my entertainment...while you were being serious...than you will realize that no one but the faggots who spend all day on this fucking stupid blog being a waste of oxygen and life in general, actually give a fuck about your little made up fantasy world"
Im not even going to break that down into how bad it is. Im sure my tax dollars will go ahead and supplement this kind of epic stupidity for me.
Guess what fuck head, my "fantasy world" elicited the same senseless drivel that we have been privy to over the past few weeks (further proving my original point). Who's stirring up shit now there Hannibal Lecter?
By the way its Carbon Monoxide. Monoxide, at standard temperature and pressure (also known as what occurs here on good ole planet Earth), does not exist. Thing is, I made an effort to point that out, hoping you would educate yourself. I was wrong.
I know it is futile to respond to you. I will no doubt get a nearly illiterate stream of consciousness response, but Im incredibly bored, and I figured at the very least If I respond we might get to enjoy some more of your classic writing. Who am I to deny the world this kind of experience.
Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.
- Daniel
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