Happy New Year*

*especially you Tucker.

Latest Gawker report on Tucker:
http://gawker.com/5124568/your-tucker-max-movie-update

And read through the old Gawker stuff here:
http://gawker.com/tag/Tucker-Max/

It's fucking beautiful how some people tear him apart in the comments.


Sorry I haven't been posting as much, but much like Tucker's fans, I've started to care less and less about him.

Tucker is doing a book signing tour in January: http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=24902

I don't know if any readers here live close to any of these locations (I don't) but I'd love it if one of you went and could tell us how many people really show up to these things. Because I can imagine when Tucker posts he'll be telling us that the crowd to see him at Books A Million in Maryland was 80 deep and some old woman buying the latest Oprah Book Club recommendation got crushed to death.

Going through the most recent blog posts on the movie site has been a bit of fun, especially posts like this and the bizarre lies in it:

-Suki (the DP) took the movie to the colorist last week; he is the guy who makes sure all the colors are balanced correctly and look right in the final product. This guy has seen probably 10,000 movies in his life. He watches movies all day. It's literally his job. Well, he couldn't do his job on our movie. Why? He was laughing too hard. He was literally in such fits of laughter, he couldn't concentrate or focus, so he gave up trying to pay attention to his job and just watched it all the way through, as a fan.

Really?! WELL FUCK ME WITH A AIDS-INFECTED WRENCH! Get this guys and girls, this movie is SO funny, so potent in hilarity that people who work on it are laughing too hard they are UNABLE to do their jobs right.

It's quite charming that he thinks that causing just over a grands worth of damage to a house he was renting is badass. Also, in the related thread this post made me smile, you know Rudius aren't paying these guys shit, nor will they ever see a dime if IHTSBIH is profitable.

"Oh I completely agree, not to kiss ass but I can't think of many better companies to work for than Rudius. But then again, I've only worked shitty manual labor jobs, so anything seems preferable to that."

lol.


I imagine everyone got a chance to read this as well where Tucker brags about how he and Nils wrote a rap song for Paul Wall to sing. The previous sentence is perhaps the most ominous thing ever written in the English language. You have to read the thread that goes with it too, some guy calls Tucker out on his bullshit, does alright for a bit and then fucks it up by trying to pass off someone else's post as his own. Someone calls him out for plagiarism and he gets banned... but cmon, the guy is a rap producer! It's called sampling!

Btw it's been 3 years since Paul Wall had a hit. Almost the same length of time since Tucker wrote some new material. Is being a douchebag infectious now?


I was sorry to see the passing of tuckermaxdoucebag into the annals of history (hehe. annals.) but I'll happily tip my hat to Cockly McBeefwell and anyone who contributed to the 5000 comments that broke blogspot. So keep visiting this site and talking about Tucker in the comments section, I'll continue to post here with the latest news when I can.

There are now positions open for 2 people who would like to write for this site, just create a Blogger.com account, post in comments and I'll add you to the Authors section and you will be able to make posts.

I'll even put you on a Rudius Media starting salary.

Recommended reading for this week...

http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=24131

That's all for now.

Man down!

Even though Tucker Max sucks, I think it's only the gentlemanly thing to do to wish him a speedy recovery. Technically, if we're dissing him whilst he's laid up like this... we're abusing a cripple. And that ain't cool guys!

I don't know if you've noticed that Blogspot has changed the comment layout system, so over at tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com it's kind of difficult to access the most recent comments.

This link might work for some of you.

It's all been quiet on the IHTSBIH front, there's been speculation from both sides about the probable success of the film, and all kinds of numbers thrown about

"umm leik.. what if everyone who bought the book brought 3 friends and a mime artist to see the film, that's like 1.5 million people going to see the film OPENING WEEKEND. And if each ticket costs 15 rupees then that means Tucker will wildly overshoot everyone's expectations! So fuck you! You're just jealous of Tucker!!"

It's still so far away that nobody could possibly call whether it'll be a success or not. That's not to say the film will be good, all it has to do is catch a cultural zeitgeist of Spring Break (highly likely to be released during SB) mixed with the gap in the market for raunchy, comedies.

I'm not saying it'll gross $20 million opening weekend, but all of us could be sitting here in 6 months time feeling absolutely disgusted as IHTSBIH makes $6 million opening weekend and experiences a slow drop off.

And then Hollywood embraces Tucker as a revolutionary creative genius. IHTSBIH is praised as a work of staggering genius, Assholes Finish First is released the same day as Chinese Democracy and Duke Nukem Forever to worldwide critical acclaim and midnight bookstore openings where people dress up as Tucker.

And then, Time magazine:
Fuck man, I'm getting goosebumps.. and you know the scary part?

In some parallel universe... this has already happened.