Anyone who's following the disaster zone that is Tucker Max's life and 'career' knows exactly what I'm talking about when I write things like 'douchebag', 'doucebag', 'TATGuy', 'Viacom guy', and so forth; they're cherished and beloved characters, like the sort you remember from the fairy tales you loved as a child.
Oh, wait- did I say 'cherished and beloved'? I meant 'hated and despised'. You see, for all of the benefits of using the abandoned site http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/, there is one glaring flaw: it's un-moderated- Cockly doesn't remember the log-on credentials, so there's effectively no way for him (or anyone else) to do away with pesky troll comments.
That's where this entry comes in. I'm hoping we can use it as a catch-all discussion forum for all things Tucker, like we've been doing with Cockly's site for the last two years. I can assure you that the more... 'illustrious' trollers won't be able to pull their garbage here.
Please, pass the word. The discussion at the Doucebag-blog is often interesting, funny, etc., it just needs to be troll-free. With this site and your help, it can happen.
EDIT: Please understand, this is not a matter of anyone having 'Fuck You, Banned' powers over the people who post here. It is, rather, a way for us to keep discussions on-point without having the comments devolve into posts about Russian mail-order brides, the evils of Viacom, and random ramblings about the Federal Reserve. No more of that racist nonsense, either.
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448 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 448 Newer› Newest»Dammit, I've been watching the Dolphins game in Boston and I've now seen 3 Tucker Max commercials. Every time, I still don't see how people could find this movie funny.
200+ comments on the new blog.
Cockly would be proud.
^^^ I almost forgot:
This is a repeat story and totally made up. Nice try, Light and Barry.
lets fuck with tucker on wikipedia.
Some pretty funny discussions happening over on imdb right now.
Actually I can see how this is going to play out now. He's going to be the plucky outsider rolling it all on one throw of the dice. The audience - ok, his fans - watch breathlessly as they roll slower ... and slower ... How are the numbers coming in? First week wasn't so good, all the people who wanted to see it already went to a premiere, it's just random handfuls of people who'll pay for anything now. Will Our Hero make it big? The dice slow, hang for a moment on one edge ... it's the second week, how are the ticket sales? Even worse, even worse, a lot of theaters aren't bothering with it because - because the snowball effect isn't quite there yet! That's the answer, it just needs a little more time for exposure. Our Hero pleads with the evil money-grubbers to give his art one more chance, just to let it LIVE the way it wants to, c'mon, it's struggling, it's nearly there ... The dice stop. Snakeeyes! Nooooo! They didn't quite get enough word of mouth. The evil money-grubbers killed the beautiful baby aborning. Third week is full retreat. The marvelous filmographic masterpiece disappears. Our Hero takes stock of his situation with his loyal followers who Still Believe. He's still figuring out what he could've done better, but it's very clear the stranglehold of the Dead Corporate Fossils is still just a little stronger than he thought it might be, and that's the reason why the movie couldn't quite make it out the gate. Our Hero did everything right but was ambushed by evil money-grubbers. BUT NOT TO WORRY! Our Hero has a PLAN! And THIS is going to be the MOST AMAZING ONE YET! Just trust him. It'll be great.
hey, gawker guy here.
Tucker Max Lies About Totally Inconsequential Thing
http://gawker.com/5365060/tucker-max-lies-about-totally-inconsequential-thing
whats really funny about this is gawker is filled with/run by gay hipsters. and even they are making fun of his lisp. you know you're effeminate when a gay hipster says you are.
RheaPollstry
11:50 AM
"Like I would write to Gawker, be seriousssss."
serious question, is this movie going to make even 25k?
25,000 in gross? Sure. The tour might have brought that much in. Profit? Not for tucker. Hollywood uses fucked up accounting so no movie is ever "profitable". But let's say the movie cost 6 million and the marketing is another 6 million. With FreeStyle and the theater's chunk, they need $20-25 million to break even. We know Tucker isn't good at complex subjects like numbers, but he's also mentioned something in that range. I think it will be gone in 3 weeks, with a total gross under $800,000.
FreeStyle will make money off it. Fox will make money off it (DVDs). Tucker, Darko, and any investors will not.
According to me. According to Tucker, it will have a $25 million opening weekend and eventually be the first R-rated comedy to break $1 billion at box office.
a total gross of 800k? i just dont see how that is possible. after no one goes to see it the first week, there will be fewer screens available, and less of a chance to make money. if he grosses 20k the first week, he will break 25k, but not by much. he is funding this himself. i am pretty sure he will desperately seek funding way past common sense, and probably get his daddy to put up more money. but gross much more tahn 25k? i would be shocked.
but i will say this, the sequel and the third movie will be blockbusters. they are going to only help promote tucker's new line of archery ranges and MMA gyms. everyone will be sorry! you'll rue the day, haters!!!
-gawker guy
I can't wait to see his sequel: "The Lion, The Witch and The Douchebag".
So why do you all hate tucker max so bad? I will never understand haters and what fuels them. Theres girls out there that like star trek and star wars, and girls that like TLotR to the guy who made that reference, go to a convention and quit being faggaty fag and stick your dick in something. Don't hate on us people that don't have a problem with fucking chicks and who like to get a little drunk. Anyone who doesn't like these things is the douchebag not the contrary.
^God damn you are stupid. Also, look up "straw man."
Anyway, Tucker on G4TV: http://tinyurl.com/nxojvu
I'm no expert, but I don't think a narcissist would describe himself as such so often.
^^^
Heh. Nobody laments good times.
On the other hand, listening to somone's lying, obfuscating, historical rewriting and selective memory play out in a controlled environment (Rudius) brings out the bullhorn with some of us.
So keep on enjoying the booze, the chicks and the LOTR movies. Those are some great flicks, well written, acted and edited... unlike the Tucker Death Mix known as IHTSBIH. He's such a douchebag, by the way.
I believe everyone should be a narcissist if you dont love yourself how do you expect to love anyone else. I bet half of you on here are unconfident and shy, over come it.
Yes the LOTR as well as all Star Wars movies are the shit, and I will include the new star trek movie, the ones suck dick.
The Gas Can of DOOM (my invention)will tear apart a party of five, however Tucker Death Mix is very clever and camlebaks rule.
^^^
Whatever. Pull up a chair and be long winded. You won't be banned, edited, smote nor humiliated. You might be ignored or mildly rebuked, but that's about it.
I will disagree about camelbaks however, personally believing that utilitarian objects cannot rule. Cameltoes on the other hand, rule by the divine grace of our Lord and creator.... that rascal Lord really knew what he was doing combining tight pelvic garments and a labia majora. Now that's art!
Jennifer's Body was a trending topic on Twitter the whole weekend and bombed at the box office. Has Tucker ever been trending? I don't think so. Not saying twitter means shit but what ever happened to the marketing revolution? Seriously curious, what was his plan- surely there was SOMETHING different about it. Was it really just the tour all along?
(Same guy) Judging by the way the tour was thrown together so late in the game, I'm guessing they didn't originally plan on it.
Jennifer's Body looked lik crap from the get go. I think they are going a little over bored on this whole vampire craze. Yea, Twilight was ok i suppose but come on now. Theres like 3 or so new tv series that are about vampires. If you go to your local book store vampire books are awsome.
Vampires = suck
Zombies = Awsome (can't wait for zombieland)
IHTSBIH = Love the book, the Austin road trip story is hillarious, but it will tuff to beat The Hangover.
Edit: vampire books are every where, not awsome
yes, genius-troll, it will be tough to beat the hangover. as in, tucker's cinematic abortion is going straight to dvd after his daddy's funding runs out in a week or two. so yeah, it will be tough to beat the hangover, practically impossible bro ! and we hate tucker because he is a liar and a fraud. we hate bullshit and we dont want to see him succeed off of fabrications. hes the bernie madoff of fratboy humor.
According to the media he, along with maddox, are the creators of fratboy humorous literature or "fratire".
I don't see him as a liar at all, his stories are very plausible. My friends and I encounter similar happenings more often than not,
Take a look at The Boondock Saints, that movie never even came out in theaters and its ranked next to pupl fiction as far as cult classics go. Of course this movie isn't going to do astoundingly well, its only being released in roughly 100 theaters. It isn't even on the top ten list for this weekends releases, it got an honorable mention.
@4th Meal
What the hell are you talking about?
"I don't see him as a liar at all, his stories are very plausible. My friends and I encounter similar happenings more often than not,"
Irrelevant, the fact that such events can occur does not mean that they did. The reality is that Tucker's stories are fabrications, because they can't be true. The facts don't add up. We know, conclusively, that he lied about the Absinthe Donuts story. He lied about distribution. He has lied repeatedly to his fans, who are just too stupid to realise it.
"Take a look at The Boondock Saints, that movie never even came out in theaters and its ranked next to pupl fiction as far as cult classics go."
So what? IHTSBIH is not The Boondock Saints.
"Of course this movie isn't going to do astoundingly well, its only being released in roughly 100 theaters."
Tucker's movie has to do well in theaters, or his investors lose everything and Tucker makes nothing.
"I'm no expert, but I don't think a narcissist would describe himself as such so often."
That's because he's not one. It's a cop out. Tucker uses the word just like a baby who just found his dick begins to touch it all the time.
Tucker is a sociopath, his use of "narcissist" is to cover up that fact because it sells better than the truth.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/i_hope_they_serve_beer_in_hell/
http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/film/78886/i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell
Note the first review was 1/2 out 4 stars, this is 1 out of 5. Or in other words a 12.5% and a 20% (in Rotten Tomatoe ratings)
"Worse, an attempt at redeeming itself with an all-it-takes-is-an-apology scene (noticeably absent from Max’s prose) leaves behind an even fouler stench than the film’s big fecal comic set piece."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
"Zombies = Awsome (can't wait for zombieland)"
That just looks funny. Kind of look the Zombie games on the Xbox (The funny ones, forget the name)
Both Twilight and True Blood are from successful books. Now all the other shows are just copying, especially from True Blood (which in my view is more successful than Twilight, which is Tween only interest)
On topic...Tucker go toss a dudes salad.
"Take a look at The Boondock Saints"
What an apt observation. And what happened to Troy Duffy again? Exactly.
I don't think RottenTomatoes rates its movies like that. I think the percentage tells you what % of reviews have considered it a good movie. So if he's gotten 2 bad reviews and 0 good ones, it would be a 0% on the RT scale.
Anyone wanna back this up?
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow/moviesandtv/68499/Blogging-Strip-Clubs-and-Girls-with-Tucker-Max.html
Attack of the show interview from yesterday,
The interviewer lets slip that tugger brought his OWN MAKEUP ARTSIST to the studio!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
fucking douche overload
"Don't hate on us people that don't have a problem with fucking chicks and who like to get a little drunk. Anyone who doesn't like these things is the douchebag not the contrary.
6:22 PM"
^^^
Fat nerdy Teenage virgin alert. Oh look I can make assumptions too!
4thMeal @ 7:48 PM said...
"Jennifer's Body looked lik crap"
"Twilight was ok"
"vampire books are awsome."
"Zombies = Awsome"
"IHTSBIH = Love the book, the Austin road trip story is hillarious, but it will tuff to beat The Hangover."
-----------------------
You know what they say broseph, when the going gets 'tuff', the 'tuff' LEARN HOW TO FUCKING SPELL!
"I don't think RottenTomatoes rates its movies like that. I think the percentage tells you what % of reviews have considered it a good movie. So if he's gotten 2 bad reviews and 0 good ones, it would be a 0% on the RT scale.
Anyone wanna back this up?"
The "ratings" do work like that. Thus what you see on the right of each one...
"Average Rating"
The Tomatoe Meter works like you say. It takes how many were fresh and how many were rotten and asigns a % of the total.
Not that I ever said how it worked at all. I just pointed out what their individual review star ratings would correspond to in terms of a Rotten Tomatoe rating.
If he gave it 1/5 stars, his Rotten Tomatoe rating is 20% for the movie.
Wow. With all the Ad power of Jennifers Body, decent script, really hot girl, Director of Juno (who is a very good director) it bombed.
Tuckers movie has no chance next weekend. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs has been declared genius and word of mouth, 4 new movies opening, The informant has also been declared a great comedy. No one will even notice IHTSBIH.
http://www.kansascity.com/412/story/1463887.html
And the bad reviews keep coming in.
If any of you have even read his book you obviously couldn't relate to any of it or you wouldnt hate it.
As far as fat nerdy virgin, that's cute. I'm about as close to that as Nicholas Cage is to Stephen Hawking.
4th Meal, shouldn't you be out shilling for Taco Bell or something?
"If any of you have even read his book you obviously couldn't relate to any of it or you wouldnt hate it."
From your name the indication is you're the person in line at Taco Bell at 3am having wiffed your way down the bar skank ladder.
And it is possible we've had all the experience Mr. Max "claims" to have had and are simply over it? I did all my wild things in college and in my Mid-20s.
I have more pressing concerns than counting how many drinks I have (Pathetic for a 33 year old to do), chasing 19 year olds at parties (again, Pathetic loser in corner at parties wearing his plain white T and being 33), or continiously lying and then changing my story ala Maxipad..
We have a MAJOR distributor, it will be released WIDE, it will easily beat "The Hangover BO", I can see this film doing 20 - 200 million..
Change to..."I said we were in negotiations with a major, I never said we would beat "The Hangover", I've never made any BO prediction"
I'm just someone who enjoys a good train wreck and the ego maniacs they happen to.
Charlie Hoehn-O is a fucking idiot.
Here's a guy who is giving advice on "how to" do something while he has NEVER EVER BEEN PAID TO DO WHAT HE'S TELLING PEOPLE "HOW TO".
Wow, he wrote an eBook that other people who never made a dime in their chosen profession and also have their own "how to" websites are telling him what a genius he is.
It's like there is this club of unemployed people on the web writing books on how to become successful. Funny thing is, they all seem to look up to Tucker Max.
cptblood wrote on the TMMB:
"Tuckers popularity is growing and it seems to me inevitable that at some point a lunatic is going to do something crazy and blame his writing. It also seems logical to assume that however disassociated from the crimeTuckers writing might be in reality, he will still have to go through the painful process of asking himself “If I hadn’t written that, would X still be alive”
It’s a horrible, terrible thing for an artist to face and I can guarantee that when it happens ( if it hasn’t happened already ) His thought process will be a little more complex than “of course it’s not my fault, retard”
The people protesting the movie and the adverts are wrong. Tucker Max isn’t deliberately promoting “rape culture” No one in their right mind would think he was. But on the other hand Tucker fully acknowledges that some of his audience are not in their right mind and the chances that something that he says will cause someone to do something unhinged are pretty high. Sure, if it wasn’t his advert or his film then it would probably be someone else’s but if it happens, it will be his book or his film and that’s when personal responsibility becomes a difficult issue.
I guess my main question is this. Tucker. when someone rapes a girl and blames you how will you respond ?"
He was polite and it is a legitimate question. He was banned for asking it. I mean, Tucker takes credit for a lot of stuff other people do. For example: he tried to take credit in an underhanded way that Geoff Stults and Matt Whocry are on television shows following their awesome performances in IHTSBIH.
Since he takes credit for "making them famous", why doesn't he take credit for when something bad happens? Like, if somebody at say a college campus (lets say UConn) gets drunk and sneaks into a girls room and rapes that girl while she sleeps. Let's say this douche is a HUGE Tucker Max fan. Shouldn't Tucker take credit for it then? I mean, if this guy did something GREAT, like say he cured cancer, you can bet that Tucker would say how 1) he was a HUGE fan of Tucker 2) how his writing helped him cure cancer.
Anyway, to answer the question that CptBlood posed, I think Tucker would have a mental collapse and retreat into an even worse drinking problem. He would find some lonely woman somewhere and help her run a video rental shop. Then one night he'd get wasted drunk and get beaten up by some idiots (some wearing a IHTSBIH shirt) until he is saved by a homeless person who has delusions that he's a knight. Tucker would then find out that the homeless guy was once normal, but a drunk guy raped his wife after seeing IHTSBIH, and he would then help him on his quest to retrieve "the Holy Grail" from Donald Trump's townhouse.
-TDG
According to this article, Tugger claims that he will need the movie to break $30 million before he sees a cent. So I guess this movie is going to be a huge net loss for Tugger!
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2009/09/is_tucker_max_the_next_tyler_p.html
"It's like there is this club of unemployed people on the web writing books on how to become successful. Funny thing is, they all seem to look up to Tucker Max."
Holy shit, dude, no joke. Charlie Hoehn, Ryann Holiday, even Tucker, who acts like he knows more about anything than anyone- who the fuck ARE these people , and where do they get this ridiculous sense of entitlement from?
11:32 AM
"I'm about as close to that as Nicholas Cage is to Stephen Hawking."
They're two of the most wooden people on earth,
Neither can act for shit,
Both successful (Hawking critically, Cage financially),
Both famous, white, male, adults,
Both disabled (Hawking physically, Cage mentally),
Both have brown hair (Cage before he went bald),
Nope, absolutely no similarities there whatsoever...
The best way I can describe Ryan Holiday, Charlie, Griffin Writes, Bill Dawes, Nils Parker, etc:
Is they are in a giant circle jerk deep throating each other.
They are the only ones complimenting each other, a group of people making no money, and admiring each others brilliant work.
'Beer in Hell' is KILLING it on Rotten Tomatoes, with a score of 29%.
You have to give Tucker credit for one thing, though- he's been laying the foundation for this for years, going on and on about how irrelevant the critic is.
The timeout new york review is interesting, not for calling it a turd, but because it blames director Bob Gosse. I wonder how he feels about that.
this review also blames Bob Gosse. Seems like people who watch the movie as a movie, with no prior knowledge of Tugger consider it shit.
It's really sad seeing the fanboys spin the bad reviews on his boad. Have a fucking original thought, man.
Yet another lie in the LA TImes interview:
"The haters always scream the loudest," he said, adding, "I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me."
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/entertainmentnewsbuzz/2009/09/tucker-max-banks-on-his-base-to-drive-beer-in-hell.html#comments
When is a reporter going to jump on the "this-guy-is-another-James-Frey-liar" angle and fact check his claims? You'd think all the lies he has told promoting the movie would be a much more interesting story than old douchebag himself. Does anyone have access to Bookscan or whatever it is that lists the official # that a particular book has sold?
Haha, I guess since he only sold half that, he doesn't have many fans and people hate him. (Actually, most people don't know or care who he is).
I was going to send some of tugger's tour pics to hotchickswithdouchebags.com, but there weren't many hot chicks. So I googled "fugly chicks with douchebags" and it took me back to tugger's flickr page.
The old thread is alive and kicking. Doesn't look like everyone made the jump.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/i_hope_they_serve_beer_in_hell/
29% cumulative. Sorry fanboys, it's not going to get better. It's confirmed terrible.
Apparently, Tucker is not good enough in bed to impress your average 18 year old.
http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/09/23/i-slept-with-tucker-max-the-internets-biggest/
From AskMen
THE AM TAKE
Pub. 2009-09-25
Made up of strung-together stories from Tucker Max’s best-selling book of the same name, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is a painfully unfunny celebration of dim misogyny and unabashed narcissism. Matt Czuchry plays Tucker as he ropes his best friends Dan (Geoff Stults) and Drew (Jesse Bradford) into an impromptu road trip to a “legendary” strip club with a lax touching policy for Dan’s bachelor party. But when Tucker’s selfishness lands Dan in hot water with both his fiancée and the cops, he finds himself "disinvited" to his friend’s wedding and is forced to learn a lesson about friendship -- kind of.
CRITICAL APPEAL
A measure of this movie's critical reception
AskMen.com score: 33
With its insult-based humor and equally unimaginative plotting, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is exactly the sort of movie critics were born to pan. And Max, who cowrote the script and -- despite a nonexistent film background -- reportedly issued commands to director Bob Gosse and his actors on how to shoot the low-budget film, seems to have intentionally set out to court just such a reaction. But the film’s deliberately offensive dialogue (which ranges from mildly clever wordplay to disturbingly violent invective against women) fails to shock on anything close to the intended level.
By attempting to pass as “comedy,” it offends notions of good humor more than good taste. This is made all the more pathetic by Beer in Hell’s repeated insistence that this anti-social behavior somehow represents “charm.” Of course, it doesn’t help that what constitutes Beer in Hell’s narrative arc is a string of people walking away from Tucker in disbelief until eventually even his friends can no longer stand what an asshole he is.
And with a climax that hinges on a bout of chemically induced diarrhea -- a gag explicitly ripped from the infinitely superior Wedding Crashers -- Beer in Hell is almost as aggressively derivative as it is unfunny.
RATED SIMILARLY
Friday the 13th35
Jennifer's Body35
Pride and Glory34
The Proposal 34
Seven Pounds33
The Limits Of Control32
GUY APPEAL
A measure of this movie's appeal to men
AskMen.com score: 31
Seemingly predicated on the belief that deep down every guy just wants to be him, Max’s Beer in Hell doesn’t feature many redeeming qualities for any guy who doesn’t share his belief that all women are either “whores” or “sluts.” This brand of pointless sexism masquerading as masculinity is a seriously tired act, and with a plot built entirely for the purpose of Max’s own self-aggrandizement, it’s hard to understand why Beer in Hell would appeal to anyone not named Tucker Max.
Utterly devoid of any of the laughs of this year’s other bachelor party comedy The Hangover, Beer in Hell is made all the more intolerable by its obvious self-satisfaction, and Czuchry’s unflagging confidence as Tucker merely comes across as pathological. Sure, there’s the requisite nudity of the genre -- along with strippers and sex scenes and excessive drinking -- but somehow none of it manages to be any fun. The cinematic equivalent of drinking alone, Beer in Hell may seem like a good idea on paper, but it only takes a few minutes to realize it’s just kind of sad.
when i read tucker max's blog, i hate him. so much.
but then i watch things like the lemondrop interview and i feel so bad for him and nils. they just look so awkward and sad. =(
oh yeah, i think i'm crushin hard on the lemondrop girl. so condescending and awesome.
FAME!!!
Check out the LA screening video. At about 3:35 there is a (lone - even the protesters are bored with this) protester wearing a sandwich board that says
"Every time Tucker Max says art, a baby dies of aids"
Tuckermasisadouchbag.com goes Hollywood!
A fun new Tucker Max quote:
"I have never lied to or deceived my fans, and I am not about to start now."
"FAME!!!
Check out the LA screening video. At about 3:35 there is a (lone - even the protesters are bored with this) protester wearing a sandwich board that says
"Every time Tucker Max says art, a baby dies of aids"
Tuckermasisadouchbag.com goes Hollywood!"
Is this on Youtube? Hilarious!
Just in time for Tucker's movie, scientists have released information about a promising HIV vaccine. We need to rush to get all the African babies vaccinated, before Tucker really starts pouring on the whole "art" stuff. Maybe we can save some of them.
That protester is Mark Ebner, of the Rudius Media empire. I think it's a gag.
By show of hands, can I see how many of you have Google News alerts set to "tucker max" and immediately post to any story written about him?
^^ Why are you worried about it?
^^Because it seems like a strange and obsessive hobby. Googling around, I see the same text, nearly verbatim, in the comments to a large number of articles about him.
And they're usually in the first five posts.
@10:45
So i guess that means that you have a google news alert and are obsessively reading any comments to articles about Tugger?
I'd call that a pretty strange hobby.
@2.05 - it's pretty widely known that Tucker Max is a liar and a douchebag. That might explain why people keep pointing it out.
"Apparently, Tucker is not good enough in bed to impress your average 18 year old."
Is that the average 18-year-old nowadays? Someone who has sex with strangers just to have a story, and then who posts that story on the Internet?
I never met any of these women in high school.
-9/28 guy
Nil's wife (also co-producer?) on facebook:
As some of you may know, my husband Nils Parker, co-wrote/produced a movie Dr. Laura said was "proof that America, as a concept, no longer exists" I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL. The movie opens this Friday, September 25th in select cities and scheduled for wide release the next weekend. The link below is the list of the cities where it's opening this weekend and links to buy advanced tickets. Even if this isn't for you (and it's certainly not for everyone) PLEASE help us by buying tickets, even if you don't go see it. And if it doesn't open in your city opening weekend and you're feeling charitable, you can still buy tickets online and we'll be ever so thankful. Thank you all for supporting us!!
---
That's right the revolutionary plan: beg their friends to watch it.
"Even if this isn't for you (and it's certainly not for everyone) PLEASE help us by buying tickets, even if you don't go see it. And if it doesn't open in your city opening weekend and you're feeling charitable, you can still buy tickets online and we'll be ever so thankful."
That is so fucken sad. They are reduced to begging people to buy tickets to boost the numbers. Firstly, ts obviously not everyone shares Ottos absolute conviction of a $25m opening weekend. Secondly who the fuck would do this and then, even if there are some retards buying tickets to a movie they will not see, seriously, how much difference will a couple of dozen sales make? If ever there was a convincing arguement that this movie is going to flop and badly, this statement is it. And they know it.
Tucker Max Fail entry Mrs Nils.
"We'll be ever so thankful"
Oh My God. The most pitiful most pathetic most scraping-the-bottom-of-the barrel and possibly the funniest line ever written about this sad sad excuse of a movie.
Mrsnilsisadouchebag.com
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/i_hope_they_serve_beer_in_hell/?name_order=asc
Hated. The average is trending down. 24% now.
All too funny.
Oh, and guys, we need to round up some folks for Rotten Tamotoes, the cronies are in full effect over there.
Fanboys rating it 100% with no reviews.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/
Funny shit. Check out the survey. What movie are you planning to see this weekend?
IHTSBIH is not listed.
The New York Times critic (Stephen Holden) didn't post his negative review properly on rt. i feel let down.
ha ha ha....this is too perfect.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nadir_of_western_civilization_to?utm_source=a-section
you should all get down to rottentomatoes.com, register and give BIH a 10% score to neutralise all the fake reviews tugger, his fan bois, and his cock-sucking forum mods are giving.
only takes a minute.
Also, tuggers friend mark ebner at ~ 3:30 in, pretending to be a protester. pathetic. tucker max fail!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSCb3zt_n0s&feature=player_profilepage
is just me or is "ever so" tossed around a lot in these tucker hate blogs?
i'm ever so pissed!
"Judd Apatow is whatever; that can be funny, but we didn't want to do that. "
translated means: he's already done and is doing what we did only successfully and funny.
if anyone's curiosity gets them this weekend record the movie and get it on the torrent circuit please
i don't see how you virgins can even begin to judge this movie when it's not even out yet. you aren't can't get laid so your frustraded and go to the internet to make fun of someone trying to make something out of himself
i don't see how you virgins can even begin to judge this movie when it's not even out yet.
The script was leaked months ago and the script was CRAP. Tucker claimed it was an "early draft" but the leaked script turned out to be exactly what had been filmed (yet another one of Tucker's lies).
People who saw advanced screenings said the finished product sucked. Furthermore, I suggest you check RottenTomatoes.com - the movie is listed as having a whopping 22% rating. Many of the negative reviews gave it the worst possible ratings or zero stars.
"i don't see how you virgins can even begin to judge this movie when it's not even out yet. you aren't can't get laid so your frustraded and go to the internet to make fun of someone trying to make something out of himself" --richard "frustraded" kelly
And so it ends like it began. In law school poor little Tuck was disrespected and treated like a joke (the kind that was...you know...on him). His immaturity and poor work ethic pissed away the advantage that privilege had bestowed upon him, and left him essentially blackballed from the profession, and while many of his classmates (including me) have graduated to positions of influence, leading interesting, fulfilling and often lucrative lives, poor little Tuck just had to settle for getting that chip permanently tattooed on his shoulder, along with the seared imprint on his middling brain of an imagined belief that all of us are so miserable because, unlike our hero, we just aren't capable of living life on our own terms.
Tucker, I imagine that you sit at some crappy bar in Chicago, eyes welling with tears of disappointment that you bravely hide from the sycophants engulfing you with affliction t-shirts. Perhaps you are nervously rubbing your fingers through your disappearing hairline, contemplating your impending bankruptcy and day of reckoning, or perhaps just how much longer you can convince naive, moderately attractive, emotionally damaged 19 year old girls to hop in the Chevy Malibu and back to the Days Inn to meet the jackhammer. Ah...living life on your own terms. Fade to gray.
~ FDG
Loosely based on the real-life adventures of Tucker Max. Hopefully very loosely based, because a lot of what happens in the movie is illegal, so he could be looking at a lot of jail time As far as the film's box office chances go, it's a raunchy comedy that is opening in select cities. That's practically three strikes against it right there. Add in the fact that its reviews are terrible and a lot of critics are comparing it to The Hangover, which is vastly superior, and this film has almost no chance at box office success. I assume the Unrated DVD / Blu-ray will perform better, on the other hand.
I just got back from seeing it. Tucker, you're my hero, but you made a shit movie. It made me like you less.
It just made me realize there's nothing redeemable about Tucker. Even at the end when there's supposed to be a "touching" ending, it's all complete BS. He doesn't mean it when he apologizes to Dan. If it were real life, Dan would easily see it, but of course, it's a movie and he's all buddy buddy again, "so you really fucked a midget!?" Like that would happen?
That's one of the big things you pimped about this movie, Tucker--realism. There was none of that. It just felt rushed and contrived. Sorry to tell you, but your lack of movie experience shows painfully.
Marika saved the movie. Fucking hot.
I cannot even bring myself to laugh at the Tucker Max Fail this has become. It's damn near disgraceful.
Any chance Otto will STFU now?
I wonder when the three or four sequals will be out?
Or even the I-phone app. I bought an iphone just for the tucker app.
Sad.
does anybody else feel sorry for nils?
whenever i see interviews of him and tucker i feel bad for the guy. on the rmmb he's usually fairly polite to the fans that remain. seems like a stand up guy to be honest.
his relationship with tucker reminds me of a friendship i had when i was younger. i had a friend that was very extroverted and a total douchebag. i hung around him because i was too soft spoken, and on the contrary of this friend, introverted. i was the milhouse to his bart so to speak.
so i dunno, but i feel kinda bad for nils. i wouldn't be surprised if nils drifts away from the rmmb scene after this movie business is all said and done.
anyone else feel sorry for nils?
not me, i have to say
Nils is a total douche. He might a little more soft spoken than Tucker, but only because everyone is next to Tucker. Remember, he wrote the script too. And he was also saying a bunch of douchey jokes on the bus tour. Also, check out his site. I get a douche chill after reading two sentences.
Will Priscilla Painton at Simon & Shuster still Publish Assholes Finish First?
the title makes no sense. Assholes might finish first in some silly women's eyes, but they epic fail in reality.
What's up with women these days?
It seems the more they run things, the more they try to force douchebag fart art on everyone:
Former 'Time' Exec. Relieves Venerable Editor Mayhew At Simon & Schuster
http://gawker.com/5002333/former-time-exec-relieves-venerable-editor-mayhew-at-simon--schuster
Anywho, does Priscilla Painton at Simon & Shuster have a personal vendetta against asians, minorities, overweight women, and little people?
Does she think tucker's ads are cute and humorous?
http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/New-Movie-Ads-Take-Offensive-to-the-Max-59695522.html
Does she get off on this?
"The ad campaign for the new flick "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" includes slogans like "Deaf Girls Can't Hear You Coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding!)."
Is that supposed to be funny?" --http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/New-Movie-Ads-Take-Offensive-to-the-Max-59695522.html
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/10/spot-your-local-tucker-max-douchebag/
Is this the new face and culture of simon and schuster?
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/15/tucker-max-fans-fight-rape-with-racism/
Does Priscilla Painton at Simon and Schuster giggle at secretive tapings of anal sex without the girl's consent and also this:
http://www.penguinblogs.ca/davidson/archives/00000079.html
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/sillylittlefreak.html
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml
"11:17: The girl starts saying something about what a horrible person I am. I stare at her, but I am not listening. I am preparing myself. I am B-Rabbit. This is the final battle rap. I will win the hostile crowd:
[I interrupt the fat girl] "Ward, I think you're being a little hard on the Beaver, [as I point to each in turn] so is Eddie Haskell, Wally, and Miss Cleaver."
[To the fat guy with greasy hair in the camo vest] "Look out everyone! It's the Pillsbury Commando! Hey Chunk, when was the last time you washed your hair? Does it give you more hit points to have that grease helmet? I hate to break the news, but +5 defense only counts in Dungeons and Dragons."
[To the ugly Asian girl] "Why you no rike me? You want me frip over? You no piss me off! ME FIND YOU IN POCKING ROT!! YOU NO TAKE MING ARIVE!!"
[To the small frail dork--I notice he has a lazy eye] "Dude--Look at me when I'm talking to you--BOTH EYES AT ONCE. Are you really this ugly or are you just playing? EVERYONE, BE CAREFUL, THIS GUY LURKS UNDER THE STAIRS AND TRIES TO LICK YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU PASS BY!"
[To the original fatty, pause for effect] "Why do you do this to yourself? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF? Look, I'm gonna give you some advice-leave the party, take the geek squad with you, go to Denny's, order about 10 Grand Slam Breakfasts, and eat your pain away. Won't be the first time will it?"
11:19: I am finished. The kitchen is quiet, except for Eddie and Rich laughing. The four freaks are completely speechless. Everyone is staring at me. I blurt out, "WHAT? I'm pretty sure it's what Jesus would've done." Eddie and Rich promptly remove me from the kitchen."
Is Priscilla Painton publishing tucker's next book for the love of lietrature, art, or money?
'Cause it seems that those who work with tucker generally hate and lose literature, art, and money.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priscilla_Painton
women are the most fiecre army ever to walk this earth.
since 1971 they have murdered over 50,000,000 unborn by *choice*.
If Nils stops following Tucker in every step of the way, he may actually turn out to be worth something. From the sounds of things -- he was trying to have his hand in everything with the movie process, and not necessarily negatively. He seemed as if he wanted to learn and further his education. And all the rumors about problems on the set involved Tucker. Nothing involving Nils. My assumption is Nils is a different person when not around Tucker.
"If Nils stops following Tucker in every step of the way, he may actually turn out to be worth something. And all the rumors about problems on the set involved Tucker. Nothing involving Nils. My assumption is Nils is a different person when not around Tucker."
The problems on the set involving Tucker are not rumor. He was kicked off set.
Does it matter that Nils is a "different person" when he's not around Tucker? Lying only half the time still makes you a liar, as does lying by omission.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/weekend/chart/
Box Office Mojo reports $369,000.00 opening weekend for IHTSBIH and on 120 theaters that's $3075 per theater.
i suppose you guys are right about nils, and perhaps if he quits hanging around tucker he could be salvaged as a decent human being.
i'm going to try my best to explain the following. but i think most people are empathetic in nature. so upon viewing a trainwreck like what this movie has become and seeing the few individuals that are loud about in their pits of failure, it's normal to feel some empathy. but i guess it's important to remember that tucker/crew aren't like the vast majority and wouldn't exchange these same feelings had it been anyone else in a predicament like so.
Remember Puck from Real World? Remember how he was on all those other MtV reality shows that had all the old people from Real World? And that one episode we're they're somewhere tropical, and he's acting up again, so they're going to kick him off the show, and he actually starts crying as he's pleading to one of the producers? Because it's obvious at that point that spinoff reality shows are his last chance for making even F-list tv show money?
Anyway, I wonder what the phonecall between Tucker and whoever makes the theater expansion decision will sound like?
I think failing massively and publicly may be good for Tucker. If so, then this is doubly good: the nation turns its back on a piece of crap and Tucker grows as a person.
-9/28 guy
"Does it matter that Nils is a "different person" when he's not around Tucker? Lying only half the time still makes you a liar, as does lying by omission."
My only point is that he may still be salvageable.
And furthermore, I don't feel sorry for Nils. He brought this shit on himself. I'm only saying that he at least tried to get along with people, unlike Tucker.
Regardless, fuck him.
Nils is talentless. Have you read his blog? Horrible. Did you see the parts of the movie that tried to glue unrelated scenes together? That was almost all Nils Parker. He's an awful writer.
On top of that, for whatever experience Nils got at starting near the top of the food chain was for naught. Because everybody on the set knew that he was only there because Tucker liked him, nothing more. Now that Tucker's basically out of the equation, what does Nils offer?
He can't get money. He simply does not have the contacts.
He's not a good writer.
His only real contact is Sean McKittrick, who most likely has produced Darko out of business with flop after flop after flop.
He comes with the baggage of Tucker Max and that whole stupid Q&A thing where they said sexist, racist shit. That will come back to haunt him.
Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is: he's fat.
from Twitter:
grimmjaw Currently siting in theatre for Tucker max. Alone. Private screening
^^^^
Hows that word of mouth thing working out for you Tucker?
Tucker?
(SF: lone cricket chirps)
"Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is: he's fat.
And all I'M trying to say is, Tucker Max is a douchbag. There, finally someone has said it.
Just saw the movie, and holy shit is it bad. While there's definitely worse movies out there, this movie falls so far short of Tucker's grandiose ideals, I haven't felt this good about my judgement in movies or character in a long time.
For awhile, I started to think "Maybe Tucker's actually on to something? The book was kinda funny in parts. Take the best elements of it, add a good story and some strong characters, and you can really have something." Sorry. Fail. Epic Fail. The story is so clearly an afterthought, the characters are one-dimensional, and the one characteristic Tucker has continuously trumpeted the most about the movie, realism, is missing in such abundance it makes me think Tucker is actually from an alternate reality.
While there were a few funny things, to think this movie is "groundbreaking", "revolutionary", or "realistic", is to have a concept of reality that is so far removed from the actual world that if one were to ever tell me that to my face, I would instinctively give them directions to the nearest mental hospital.
THE RUDIUS MEDIA MESSAGE BOARD PRESENTS: Most hilarious post of the century, writtern by either comedic genius or hilariously retarded guy. Someone needs to deconstruct this .. brace yourselves:
"I'm a bit disappointed with the movie, but I'm even more disappointed with myself.
Although I didn't see the script beforehand or read any of this thread, the production blog and the book was too much for me to really enjoy it. I feel like I watched it like some asshole movie critic. Maybe the material didn't translate from the book to the screen for me. Whatever it was, I fucking ruined it for myself, and it's a shame I had to learn this lesson with this movie, because I would have probably pissed myself laughing had I gone in with fresh eyes.
Instead of just sitting there and enjoying it, I kept thinking about all the stupid bullshit I'd read about this scene or that joke. I won't even bother saying any of the things I didn't like because it doesn't matter and I wouldn't be able to easily discern legitimate gripes with personal biases. If there is a sequel, I will completely censor myself from any sort of production blog or movie related threads.
With that said, there were a lot of great scenes that made it through whatever fucked up filter I was watching the movie through. The shit scene obviously was hilarious, despite it being somewhat ruined by hearing about it incessantly during the tour videos. I thought the real Tucker cameo was actually really fucking funny, which confirms my belief that I ruined the movie myself because I had no idea what that scene would entail.
Whatever, my friends loved it and I learned a valuable lesson."
I have some thoughts on the performance of the movie, and on the performance of the Doucebag blog and this blog, but I'm going to wait until I'm not so exhausted before I share them.
I WILL say this: mccoymountain, don't think your posts on this blog went unnoticed. I'm leaving them up because they're not redundant here yet, but please don't spam us, do repeat-posts, or do long copy-and-paste jobs. You're welcome to post here as long as your posts are on-topic and not redundant or excessive. You know what I'm talking about.
Repost from imdb (Nng121):
http://www.movieweb.com/news/NEdXykfeBDXwhe
"Not faring so well, however, was the Tucker Max adaptation I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, which took in $369,000 from 120 theaters with a well-below-average $3,075 per-screen average."
http://www.hollywoodoutbreak.com/2009/09/27/maybe-tucker-max-should-stick-to-his-books/
"TUCKER MAX may have a loyal following on-line and at the bookstores but they sure didn’t follow him to the box-office. The dismal opening week-end showing of the big screen adaptation of his best selling memoir, I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL, indicates that MAX might be better off sticking to the books."
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2616&p=.htm
"In limited release, Capitalism: A Love Story made the biggest splash, while the rest ranged from moderate (Bright Star) to poor (I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell)."
http://www.newsinfilm.com/?p=25089
"By contrast, exaggerator Tucker Max’s movie I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell made only $369,000 in 120 locations."
THE RUDIUS MEDIA MESSAGE BOARD PRESENTS: Most hilarious post of the century, writtern by either comedic genius or hilariously retarded guy. Someone needs to deconstruct this .. brace yourselves:
"I'm a bit disappointed with the movie, but I'm even more disappointed with myself.
Although I didn't see the script beforehand or read any of this thread, the production blog and the book was too much for me to really enjoy it. I feel like I watched it like some asshole movie critic. Maybe the material didn't translate from the book to the screen for me. Whatever it was, I fucking ruined it for myself, and it's a shame I had to learn this lesson with this movie, because I would have probably pissed myself laughing had I gone in with fresh eyes.
Instead of just sitting there and enjoying it, I kept thinking about all the stupid bullshit I'd read about this scene or that joke. I won't even bother saying any of the things I didn't like because it doesn't matter and I wouldn't be able to easily discern legitimate gripes with personal biases. If there is a sequel, I will completely censor myself from any sort of production blog or movie related threads.
With that said, there were a lot of great scenes that made it through whatever fucked up filter I was watching the movie through. The shit scene obviously was hilarious, despite it being somewhat ruined by hearing about it incessantly during the tour videos. I thought the real Tucker cameo was actually really fucking funny, which confirms my belief that I ruined the movie myself because I had no idea what that scene would entail.
Whatever, my friends loved it and I learned a valuable lesson."
__________________________________
I saw this too. what a complete and total ass-kisser. i mean, holy shit, the guy just did the internet-equivalent of cutting himself in frontof master tucker, like he was a gladiator telling the emperor 'it is an honor to die for your amusement.'
Don't hate. He was just being authentic and honest. The Tucker way.
Nils' Twitter account is currently
"Who goes there?
Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity.
Mosey along now, nothing to see here."
^that's his old account I think. His account now is nilsaparker.
Speaking of Twitter, who wants to bet Tucker thought he'd be a trending topic on Twitter this past weekend?
Hey, did anyone else notice a strange sort of shift in the air over the weekend? It's sort of like someTHING, some FORCE, swept in from nowhere and changed comedy forever. Is there anyone living in California who can detect a subtle shift in the air? You know, almost like the way films are made has been changed forever? I can't quite put my finger on it...
...in an unrelated question, does anyone know where I can find an awesome indoor crossbow range in the SoCal area?
Biscuits:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=877874&postcount=39
Tucker's hissy fit begins
Thats a great idea. How about you call Sean McKittrick and tell him to buck up and drop 15 million do we can have a real ad spend?
Exactly. I love how all of you are so full of suggestions, without any concept of what the fuck is going on. Like how I DON'T MAKE ANY DECISION ABOUT WHERE MONEY IS SPENT.
Do you think I want the movie playing in crappy dead malls and in shitty outliers suburbs? Of course not. Freestyle booked those theaters, ask them why they are fucking up.
Do you people think I am making every decision on this movie? FUCK NO. If I was, I can guarantee you things would be going much different. But I'm not. So in the meantime, please forward your suggestions about spending money and booking theaters--whoich are often good suggestions, things I have said for six months--to the people who are making the stupid decisions.
Because its not me.
^^^ Holy shit. Mr. 'if we succeed, everyone takes credit, but if we fail, it's on me' is becoming unhinged.
Just some random quotes from the internet, for your reading pleasure:
"Why would you be a dick to people who support you?"
- Tucker Max, March 25, 2008
"Are you people really this fucking dense? What the fuck are you even talking about?"
- Tucker Max, today, in response to one of his fans offering condolences on his movie's failure
"Everyone is better off if you are just nice to the people you work with."
- Tucker Max, May 15, 2008
"If success comes–and I think it will, in large doses–it will be because of all of us. But failure will be mine alone."
- Tucker Max, August 28, 2008
"Freestyle booked those theaters, ask them why they are fucking up... please forward your suggestions... to the people who are making the really stupid marketing decisions that are fucking my movie."
- Tucker Max, today
"I’m telling you people: You don’t know how big this movie is going to be. Most people are doubting it, and that’s fine, but even the ones who think they believe in me, don’t really know."
- Tucker Max, July 3, 2008
"Opening Weekend: $366,909"
- boxofficemojo.com, today
"Tucker has this unique ability to reflect on things that haven't happened yet."
- Ryan Holiday, October 23, 2008
"Clearly some of the things I thought have turned out to be incorrect."
- Tucker Max, today
Barry,
You forgot: "I'm not even the cooleth one of my friendth"
I saw the movie at one of the premieres and am not surprised by the box office. It is a terrible movie. Tucker seems to want to blame the failure on lack of money now, but he knew that all along.
He continues to ignore the obvious: if anyone thought the movie was good, they would put up money to advertise and recoup it.
I'm enjoying the blame shifting occurring now.
Tucker grew up in Lexington KY. Attended elementary school, jr. high, and the first 3 years of high school there.
In 7th grade he drew swastikas on his hands in a attempt to piss off his social studies teacher (Mr. Esrael, who, as it turned out, wasn't even jewish) This was followed
by his reading "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" and declaring that, despite what we might think based on his skin tone and blond hair, really, he's black.
Then he flunked out his junior year (in addition to a scandal involving cheating on the AP U.S. History Test) and ended up at a boarding school on his daddy’s dime, repeating that year and hiding his failure well enough to get into UC.
His psychotically delusional narcissism is DECADES old.
Brilliant post, Bater.
I have to say, 9/28 didn't turn out to be the banner day I expected it to be. 9/29 seems to be where it's at so far. The blame-shifting stuff is great--I love the line about how he doesn't want to publicly throw anyone under the bus,* right before he publicly throws Darko's PR team under the bus.
*--In fairness, TM did say that the only reason he wasn't throwing people under the bus is that there's still something to be gained from them. Apparently, he thinks nothing is to be gained from Darko's PR team.
Anyway, if I were an investor, I would totally want to invest in a future TM endeavor. None the things that have gone wrong have been his fault, and everything that's gone right** has been his accomplishment.
**--nothing has gone right.
-9/28 guy
"The problems on the set involving Tucker are not rumor. He was kicked off set."
I would LOVE to hear this story. Can anyone confirm this??
Deconstructing Tucker Max who is Deconstructing Tucker Max.
In this episode: Cry me a fucking river.
"And by the way, to all the nerds who are so butthurt because I said things and made predictions that didn't come true immediately:"
No dude, they didn't come true "immediately. THEY DIDN'T FUCKING COME TRUE. Having the word "immediately" means there is some hope that it may occur some day soon. You are so intellectually dishonest that you can't even say one single sentence without having to fucking lie or embellish in some way. The problem is, I fucking OWN YOU. I fucking know you're a liar and I understand language in ways you couldn't even conceive. You do this in every fucking sentence you write to your fans, while still saying "I'll never ever lie to my fans" which is also a fucking lie.
"You mean Tucker Max is fallible?"
No dickhead, I mean Tucker Max is a fucking lying douchebag.
"OH NO!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!"
Hahahahahaha. No, it's really not, but your career in Hollywood is most certainly over. You have to sit back now and watch as everything that you've built by accident comes crashing down around you. A lot of fans are now asking (even if it's not on your board) a lot of questions about you and your "authentic" stories.
"Look, I never said one thing that I didn't believe that the time I wrote it."
Great, so basically you're like a little kid who believes in Santa Claus. I believed in Santa Claus too, but we both know he's a fraud.
"Every prediction I made I believed in my heart."
You know, for a so-called "smart guy" Tucker Max speaks with his heart and his dick a lot more than his head.
"Every statement I made I thought was true."
Yet every statement you made has been shown to be a fucking lie (see above).
"Clearly some of the things I thought have turned out to be incorrect."
Tucker, make a list of the things you wrote that turned out to be correct and then write a list of things that turned out to be incorrect. Then get a fucking dictionary and look up the word "some", because clearly you are too retarded to understand what BASIC FUCKING ENGLISH MEANS.
You've been so fucking wrong on so many levels that it's been a fucking joy to watch you crash and burn. You're an intellectually dishonest bully, and now that your wings are clipped you have the audacity to say "some of the things" were incorrect?
Fuck you bitch. You're a fucking liar.
"And I may have overstated things, used too much hyperbole, and over-promised,"
Bitch, you used so much hyperbole that I thought you were auditioning to be the next nemesis of the Fantastic Four.
You were wrong, you've been proven wrong and even your contrition is trite and full of lies.
"but I never lied and I never said anything I didn't believe at that moment. You know that means?"
Yeah, it either means you are 1) an unrepentant liar or 2) really fucking dumb. Because you could write volumes of books filled with the number of lies you've said over the last 6 months.
"I'm just like every other fucking person on earth: Flawed. "
Oh, boo-fucking-hoo. We already know your flawed. Your flaw is that you're a fucking liar. I can deal with a lot of other flaws in people, but lying about virtually everything while taking advantage of those fans you pretend to care about with those same lies is fucking unforgivable.
"This is not news to me, even though it seems to be news to some of you."
Whatever douchebag, enjoy your free-fall into the douchebag hall of fame.
-TDG
"The problems on the set involving Tucker are not rumor. He was kicked off set."
I would LOVE to hear this story. Can anyone confirm this??
----
Below is something from the doucebag blog from a month ago written by someone from Shreveport. As that guy pointed out there is a hole in Tucker's story. In checking out the movie blog, Tucker doesn't write about most of the movie shoot which seems like a big oversight for someone writing an entire blog about making a movie. Project Greenlight was probably edited for drama, but there seemed to be enough content for an entire reality show based on a movie shoot, so why no stories from the set of IHTSBIH from Tucker? Nothing worth writing about happened on set? This from the same guy who writes endlessly about the most inane situations from the bus tour? To me Tucker's lack of set stories is much more damning than someone anonymously corroborating another anonymous post here.
"Tucker Max was kicked off his own movie. I know this for a fact because a very good friend of mine worked on the film and got a front row view of Tucker's stupidity. Which was huge. The first week went okay. Tucker had a party at his "party house" which was a clue that he is a huge tool--who over 20 wants a party house? (Tucker is in his mid-30's. He's also that guy who counts his drinks). Loser. Everyone thought he was douchey but no more so than anyone else they'd dealt with from Hollywood. Week two was a nightmare. In addition to constantly getting in the way of the director, the DP, the Teamsters, pretty much anyone who knew what they were doing, Tucker was also personally horrible to a number of cast and crew. The actresses all thought he was a creep. He was so openly hateful of women that even the guys on the crew were uncomfortable. He was finally banned from the set by one of the other producers (not Sean McKittrick). The only reason it took so long to give Tucker the boot is that Sean McKittrick and Bob Gosse the director are very patient people. Someone like Oliver Stone would have banned him from the set after day one. If you doubt what I'm saying just look at his blog. He writes very detailed entries about hiring strippers and casting and pre-production. After that...nothing. He can say he was busy working on the movie. But he wasn't. Busy people don't have time to film their buttboy assistants choking each other out. Oh, and what he did write about? Bullshit. Tucker had a tantrum and screamed at the script supervisor (a woman). Her crime? Doing her job by telling Tucker that his way of shooting the scene (as opposed to the director's way) would result in footage that couldn't be cut together. But does he write about this fight? Does he explain what continuity is and why it's important to his fans? No. He does write a long ass-kissing entry about how the crew should be treated with respect though. What a hypocrite. By week three Tucker was a total pariah, alone in his party house while everyone else went home to their families or went out without him."
There was also this from Gawker:
http://gawker.com/5041385/the-movie-crew-on-tucker-max-prick
What the fuck are you haterz TALKING about?! The movie's only been out for five days and shit, and it's already done something most movies don't do- it actually had LESS ticket sales on Saturday than it did on Friday and shit. That's fucking revolutionary and shit. You bitches better raise up and recognize and shit.
From doucebag, on T-bag's supposed $300k book advance.
"I hope he has a contract already signed for his next book."
10:28 PM
Signed, advance paid, and spent. Tugger's behind the eight ball.
9/29 11:51 AM
Whoa-- is this true? Can anyine confirm or deny? If so, epic.
9/30/2009 10:01 AM
What has the author of this blog ever accomplished?
what has the author of this blog ever accomplished. Nothing. your jealously is apparent.
"What has the author of this blog ever accomplished?"
Well, I'm financially independent, I have a family that I love and that loves me, I have a livelihood that helps people with real problems, and I have several projects in the works that I'm very excited about, because I believe they're going to help a lot of people. I'll not be any more specific, for two reasons:
1.) I prefer anonymity when it comes to internet hijinks;
2.) I don't owe you any explanation.
"your jealously is apparent."
Is it? Would I trade my life for the life of a man who:
- has made enemies everywhere he's gone?
- has foregone real relationship in exchange for empty, meaningless sexual conquests?
- who's best-known for being mean to other people?
- whose biggest accomplishment is a modestly successful book that chronicles foolish mistakes that- because of said book- will always be associated with him? (I'd hate to be known as 'the guy who makes fun of fat people and tricks girls into being filmed having sex' when I'm 80 years old- what a legacy!)
- who is now facing serious financial challenges as a result of a woefully underperforming film that may well signal the end of his career in the industry he expected to spend his life in?
Yeah, I'm dying to be THAT guy.
What has the author of this blog ever accomplished?
I once made a batmobile out of Lego.
^^^^^^^
Now THATS humor.
Listen and Learn Tucker.
Domestic gross still under $500,000.
EPIC FAIL
There won't be a sequel. The guy's career in Hollywood is OVER.
anyone know if it's true that "Slingblade" now works for the government? Just found an interesting post on Twitter.
http://twitter.com/IHTSBIH_
The movie Tucker Max lies, and his buddies know it. The real Tucker Max doesn't admit to lying, but the movie seems to be his confessional. Half truth lying when he feels the end justifies the means and when he feels it's needed to control the actions of others.
I saw the quote on this blog:
"Anything The Hangover can do at the box office we can beat. Easily." Tucker Max, June 2009"
Is there anybody more painfully delusional than old Tucker?
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell's opening weekend (that's OPENING WEEKEND people):
$366,909
The Hangover's 17th weekend figures (that's SEVENMOTHERFUCKINGTEENTH WEEKEND people):
$423,193
Yeah, tight competition this one. Beer in Hell made 56 grand less than a film that has been out for four months already.
After one week of release, Beer in Hell sits at $540,638.
If you're counting (and christ, why would you bother) they need to pull that exact amount every week until the end of February 2011 to pass The Hangover's current score of $274,603,632.
Provided, of course, that The Hangover pulls from cinemas tomorrow and makes not a penny more.
You know what?
Fuck Tucker Max.
"After one week of release, Beer in Hell sits at $540,638.
If you're counting (and christ, why would you bother) they need to pull that exact amount every week until the end of February 2011 to pass The Hangover's current score of $274,603,632."
you're dead wrong. I think you meant to say that they'd need to pull that number every DAY until Feb 2011 to overtake 'The Hangover.'
"You know what? Ruck Tucker Max."
THIS part, you're right about.
Oh shit, you’re right. Serves me right for trying my hand at maths drunk at 4am.
Correction: they need to pull that exact amount every week until the end of July 2018.
That seems doable for the Tucker Max team, provided the world hasn’t been overtaken by Apes or Robots by that point.
Bob on Tucker:
On the other side, he had no idea what he was doing. He was new to the filmmaking process, and he would get very frightened when he didn't understand things. He didn't understand initially the idea of coverage or that it takes an hour and a half to move the camera and re-set the track and put the wedges under the tracks so that the dolly is even. Then we'd have to tweak the lights and actors would have to go back to make-up. The whole thing confused him. He was very, very overwhelmed. And even during pre-production I'd say, "Hey, Tucker, we're going to go scout this strip club. You should come check it out." And he would come and bring his dog, but he wouldn't understand what we were doing. We were checking the power sources, seeing where we could park the trucks, where would we take our meals, where could we go to the bathroom, could we get air-conditioning units moved in -- he just got spooked a little bit. You know? And the actual shooting of the film was the same thing. He would periodically spin out, and he would berate a crew member irresponsibly for no other reason than he didn't know what he was talking about. And he didn't do it with any malice. He was just doing it because he wanted to participate.
The mods deleted this total and complete crushing of a pissy nuthugger...which is too bad, Millertime73 is my hero;
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attitude View Post
Ok, I'll play along. I don't know if Tucker gets "butthurt" over your criticism. If I had to bet though, I'd bet he doesn't give a shit what you think. I'm actually pretty sure about that part.
This is his forum, he sets the tone. A huge part of his shtick seems to be punching buttons and being offensive. It looks like he doesn't like that in turn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attitude View Post
As for your assertion that he micro-managed the film, well, I have no idea. I wasn't there.
I read the blog from day one. I have my eyes open. It's that easy to see.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attitude View Post
Did you see the movie? The point here is to discuss the actual movie.
Is the point to honestly discuss the movie, or is this just another marketing platform?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attitude View Post
Because you're really just a troll trying to get some dig in on Tucker because, well, I don't know why. Because he gets more pussy than you? Because its always been your dream to make a movie but you wouldn't even know where to start? Because you're a typical tuesday morning QB who always knows better then the coach? Except that you've never actually accomplished anything. Thats pretty clear.
1. Anyone can get pussy, that isn't some giant feat I'm in awe of.
2. I've had three posts here, you are really grasping at straws.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attitude View Post
Thoughtful criticism is fine. What did you add? Some heresay about Tucker micro-managed the process (as if thats even a bad thing - I'm sure he wouldn't be the first creator to do that).
Point is, you not only add no value, you're just a distraction.
Think carefully before you post again. Be thoughtful or funny. Otherwise you're gone.
Hiding behind the mantra of allowing only "thoughtful criticism" is a ridiculous crutch. It is smoke and mirrors, because you are the only allowed arbiter of what is thoughtful. Not to mention, this is a movie about drinking and fucking. It isn't the film adaptation of "Atlas Shrugged".
I posted some funny shit. You deleted it because you didn't want Tucker or others to read it. Funny from someone whose screen name is "Attitude".
Put your big boy pants on and we can have a discussion.
the douce (as in turd) blog has broken google once again.
reposted from imdb (before gosse was thrown under the bus):
Tucker Aug 2009:
What more can I say about Bob Gosse? Other than the fact I thank God every day we were lucky enough to get him to direct the movie, I’m not sure. EVERY financier (except Darko Entertainment) questioned our selection of Bob Gosse as director on this movie, and now that we are finished shooting, I have to say it: I told you I was right about him! Not only was he the right pick to direct this movie, at this point I can’t even imagine anyone else doing it, and keeping it together. Bob had the impossible job of containing and dealing with Tucker Max on his first movie, and he not only did it, he made a great movie in the process, and taught me a lesson I needed to learn. I haven’t written about it because now is not the time and this isn’t the place, but Bob and I had our issues during filming. That story–the one about the movie behind the movie–is very interesting and will be told in full one day, but I will say this now: Bob saved me from myself, and in the process helped me more with life than he did with the movie. And he directed the movie…which should tell you how much I have learned from Bob Gosse.
What's going on over @ the douchebag site? I haven't been since yesterday but can't get comments to load.
Any information?
the doucebag site was working earlier today. Currently, you can read the early posts (through page 20) before it errors out. Too bad, cause there's so much mockery to be done.
Box office mojo and the-numbers now have the official weekend numbers. They were worse than predicted and once again, the turd dropped from Friday -> Saturday.
Friday: 118k
Saturday: 112k
Sunday: 74k
In the bob gosse interview, he mentioned 3 distribution offers. Tugger fans have jumped on this as proof that the problem was poor marketing and/or freestyle.
Wrong.
This is most likely what happened:
Distributor offered a token amount ($500k) under the $6 million cost. Maybe they would have done a test screening and dumped it, or maybe they would have an advertising blitz and pushed it out to theaters. But here's the problem -- darko doesn't get any money until the distributor covers their costs.
The distributor has no incentive to reduce costs or maximize profits because advertising is done through their sister company at a heavy markup. What? $200 million gross? Sorry, we spent it all on advertising. I know how you feel darko, we're losing money on this too. [snicker] What? You're breaking up. The reception in this G4 jet is horrible.
Since no distributor would cover their $6 million budget up front, going bareback, uhh, I mean freestyle, was the only way they could possibly break even or be profitable. They didn't have a choice because the movie sucks.
Look at those box office numbers!
EPIC FAIL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Hey Fucker: GAME OVER, MAN!
good thing this site is here. fuckin blogger keeps breaking and shit.
Even with Blogger broken it still has more traffic than the dormant cemetery of fail that is RMMB.
Did anyone get screenshots of the movie blog before tucker started deleting stuff?
Please say yes.
What was on it today? I haven't been around much. Highlights? Esp since the douchebag site went down... I need an update please.
^^^ Not too much in the way of highlights. Seems like a lot of the action is on IMDB lately. The biggest thing is that the box office numbers came out, and were even lower than anticipated. The movie actually made less this last weekend than it did the previous weekend, even though it had almost twice as many theaters... and, once again, the Friday-to-Saturday numbers dipped. Bad news.
Over on IMDB, someone said that Tucker's removing some of his earlier posts on the movie blog, but they're wrong. It's just that the original links to those posts, from the RMMB, don't work because they redid the movie's site. But all the posts are still there.
Oh, and the biggest news in Tuckerland today is that Tucker is a huge, massive douchebag.
Hope this helps.
Also, on RMMB Biscuits had a post deleted with following explanation: "Dude, you used to provide insightful context, now you sound like a hater. You can infer the two mistakes. Be constructive."
Did anyone get to read it and can repost it here? It was probably just another nail in the coffin to Tucker's blind hubris that he thinks all that was wrong with this movie was the marketing.
I was just looking at the "Reviews, discussions, and blog posts" thread on thin-skin Max's site and saw that Biscuits added a great post and it was deleted immediately. I didn't have a chance to cut and paste it, but basically he quoted this from Shitba..I mean Tucker:
"We may end up staying in certain theaters for three+ months, others we will be out of this week. This is so depressing too, because of how clear it makes it that our marketing and distribution strategy was flawed on a fundamental level. Aside from several issues with poor execution, there were at least two fundamental errors in strategy that are so clear--but essentially unfixable in terms of theatrical run--now it's aggravating."
and then said if this film is in any theaters in 3+ months Tucker will have made a third fundamental error - missing the Christmas market for the DVD release. Biscuit's post was insightful, interesting, and he even ended it by saying he was looking forward to Tucker's breakdown of the fundamental errors. (Biscuits intimated that Tucker thinks he either went too wide or not wide enough.)
There is no reason for that post to have been deleted, except for the fact that Tucker is such a thin skinned, lying, dishonest, manipulative douche bag that he can't handle having an industry insider enlighten his fans as to how stupid and wrong he is. You absolutely KNOW that Tucker (or one of his dipshit mods) read Biscuit's post, knew he was right, and opted to delete it rather than have Tucker again be shown to have no fucking idea what he is talking about.
Take a look at the RMMB now...a tool named Gris was who deleted it and he catching shit for it.
Tucker is bad at numbers, part 93:
The weekend per screen average (psa) numbers were just under $1,500. That's for 210 screens.
Yet tucker claims that 30 theaters are averaging over $5,000 and a handful are over $10,000.
Really? 30 * 5000 = 150,000, which means the other 180 are only averaging (150k/180) $833/weekend. maybe under $700/weekend if you throw in the handful of $10,000s.
According to his own "numbers", the vast majority of theaters are only getting 70 people over the entire weekend, 24 per day.
Biscuits' post is back now... or at least some variation on it:
'Originally Posted by Tucker Max View Post
We may end up staying in certain theaters for three+ months, others we will be out of this week. This is so depressing too, because of how clear it makes it that our marketing and distribution strategy was flawed on a fundamental level. Aside from several issues with poor execution, there were at least two fundamental errors in strategy that are so clear--but essentially unfixable in terms of theatrical run--now it's aggravating.
I'll go over all of this when I do a recap of the theatrical run.'
If you are still in a single theater in three+ months, then you will have made a third fundamental error in strategy.
Missing the Christmas DVD season would be catastrophically stupid for a movie like this. If you are not out on home vid in under 10 weeks it would be a seismic mistake. Under 8 weeks, really.
I am genuinely curious what you think the two fundamental errors in strategy were, though. I can't decide whether you think it would have been wiser to open substantially wider or substantially narrower, but I'm looking forward to reading your analysis.
Damn- a moderator named BrianH re-posted Biscuits' post, along with this comment:
"It has been restored. There was nothing "hater" about it. If Max or Nils wants it down, they can take it down themselves... along with this post."
One of the two fundamental flaws in Tucker's strategy is that he's a douchebag.
Tucker and Nils are sort of like a bad 70's buddy/cop shows.
Douchebag and the Fat Man
Biscuits also said:
"Yeah -- huh? What about that post sounded remotely like a hater?
I actually can't infer the two mistakes -- I don't think they're necessarily obvious at all. So all I said was I was generally curious what Tucker's analysis was.
And then I pointed out that it would be a strategic mistake for this movie to still be in theaters 3+ months from now, since that would mean they'd miss the Christmas DVD window.
Honestly, what about that sounds like a hater?
I've never been anything but respectful here, and now my last two comments have gotten deleted. If Tucker wants to delete me, fine. But who's this Gris character? What's going on here?"
I love it.
I love it how paranoia is driving the Mods on the RMMB nowdays.
'gris' is a stupid little cunt.
also the comments section from doucebag.blogspot appears to be malfunctioning, anyone else getting error messages?
yeah, blogger seems to be broken.
bX-inorhr.
bX-inorhr!
BX-INORHR! BX-INORHR! BX-INORHR!!!!
Getting a post deleted or being banned from RMMB is like getting kicked out of Germany in 1938. It's like a badge of honor.
Undelete the cthulhu post, clueless humorless bastards. It was a direct response to the one above it, and it was funny. Don't be taking cues from RMMB moderation.
Sorry. I didn't get the joke. Repost.
Anyone know how people are still commenting over on the old blog? Google cache is failing me.
Tucker averages 9.5 posts a day on his own board. Biscuits averages 0.3. Yet Tucker is telling Biscuits to get a life outside of the message board.
Also, his latest spin is "I was ahead of the curve." He's never going to acknowledge the possibility that the movie failed because it sucked.
They are erasing all kinds of posts there now, not just deleting them. Had one that was actually positive that had rep comments, now both the post and rep comments gone.... pathetic.
I used to enjoy his writing for what it was and thought it was very progressive for him to post everything about the movie production on there.
Saw the movie, thought it was decent. Had planned on buying the DVD but after seeing how he is "moderating" his board it just all seems very fake now.
Although I'm curious as to why none of his true fans are here defending him? Usually they turn out in big numbers when something is written negatively on a blog about him.
I suspect his actions are causing him to loose more of his fans than anything else.
I guess if they aren't answering questions perhaps we should ask the person responsible for cutting the first check!
http://www.sheppardmullin.com/attorneys-624.html
At least they have a good lawyer who I am sure made sure they can't be personally held responsible for any money the movie may have lost!
^^^
Tucker has always moderated his board with an iron fist if you ever held up the truth in front of him. It's always been that way. Most of his "fanbois" never saw that, because they weren't there for the truth, they were there for the hero worship.
His true fans aren't here defending him, because:
A) they're outnumbered
B) they don't have mods protecting them as they do on RMMB
C) they're not used to observing the truth, so they leave RMMB unarmed and quickly find themselves defenseless in an argument
Jojo
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,040
Validation Points: 2007
I might be wrong (highly unlikely), but this thread is devoted to reviews, discussions, and blog posts. Those three things all relate to the movie itself, not the baseless opinions of everyone regarding what Tucker and Nils should do next. In other words, shut the fuck up about things nobody asked your opinion on.
Thank you
–––––––––––––––––––
Jojo, you're absolutely right if your goal is to moderate a board to the sounds of crickets and tumbleweeds. Victory is yours. Enjoy the silence.
Are their mods just constantly on high alert now that his movie is a steaming pile of shit? That has to be really boring, how could someone with a real job have the time to constantly monitor posts like that to keep his fans drinking the Kool Aid?
It's easy when they're only getting 6 posts a day.
I think silence is what they want. All the talk about the movie is bad news and how to stop the bleeding.
It's like when you talk to a douchebag about why he got laid off. He blames the office culture and the incompetent bosses, but he never mentions his crappy work ethic or his bad attitude. When you get to questions like "what work did you actually do?", he doesn't want to talk about it any more.
"It's like when you talk to a douchebag about why he got laid off. He blames the office culture and the incompetent bosses, but he never mentions his crappy work ethic or his bad attitude. When you get to questions like "what work did you actually do?", he doesn't want to talk about it any more."
Dude, you just described Tucker's explanation about why his father fired him from his restaurant.
tucker cannot handle criticism because he is too insecure. he calls him self a narcissistic personality disorder, but he's truly a sociopath. someone once said that tucker is a sociopathic rapist, which they thought should be his new catchphrase, but i think that's libel.
From Tucker
"We may end up staying in certain theaters for three+ months, others we will be out of this week"
From Nils:
"We absolutely will not be in any theater 3+ months from now. That I can guarantee, both from a practical and strategic perspective."
And let the in-fighting and blamelaying begin......
From Biscuits:
"Missing the Christmas DVD season would be catastrophically stupid for a movie like this. If you are not out on home vid in under 10 weeks it would be a seismic mistake. Under 8 weeks, really."
And this little gem from Tucker:
"Darko and Fox decided to release the DVD in January. They made this call months ago. If it were my call, I probably would have done a day and day release on all platforms. But I'm usually ahead of the curve."
So much funny where to start.
Looks like its going to miss the Christmas season. Oh well, there goes the 5million sales target. (Cause that was totally realistic dude!).
What happened to "we control the marketing - if it fails its my fault and no-one elses". Hands up if you got fucked by Tucker!
Ahead of the curve? What curve Tugger old boy? The one you skidded into, spun out on, rolled over through and totalled your career around? You are currently hanging over the edge of the precipe with your butth hanging out and all you want to do is blame others and spin more bullshit that no-one is listening to any more. Wake up.
Jan release for DVD might not be bad. The target audience is more likely to use gift cards they get to buy the DVD than someone buying them the DVD as a gift!
$35,788
-52.1% / $170
$881,891 / 11
Monday numbers in, doesn't look all that good for Tucker.
so, anyone find a torrent of this masterpiece? Demonoid is still down.
Reposted from imdb, reposted from somewhere on tugger's bloard before the movie tucker max failed. I bet posting this today would get you banned. What a difference a tucker max failure makes!
---
Here’s my guess as to what that something else is because they’ve been uncomfortable about it for a number of years – the internet. More specifically the ability of the internet to spread the truth very quickly and to spread memes that had difficulty catching on only 15 years ago. We’ve seen significant changes in our national psyche such as how the mystique has been removed of the perceived lifestyles of lawyers, doctors, politicians and others because we now know what these professions are like as thousands of people in those professions have written volumes in a conversational tone all in an accessible place. This instant access to so much information has also created the most demanding consumers who have ever lived.
The internet has become a great equalizer to sort out the people and things worth paying attention to. None of the haters have the excuses they used to for being failures who take pleasure in ripping into people who are succeeding. They can no longer say “if only I had a million dollars I’d make the best movie” or “if only someone would publish my writing/display my art/let me record my music I’d be awesome.” Anyone can put up content and find out if they can get an audience. Even those critics with some success can see how many people actually read their movie reviews as opposed to guessing it’s the number of copies their newspaper or magazine sold even though many readers never bother with the critics’ section. Tucker has an audience and this movie will help to grow it dramatically, the haters do not and likely never will.
Good god...look at the box office numbers for Monday (10/5) - $170 per screen average. At about $8 per ticket, that's around 21 paying customers per theater per day. If anyone wants a private screening of this film, just get down to any theater that's showing it and you'll probably be the only one there.
Biscuits:
"Quote:
Originally Posted by Tucker Max
Darko and Fox decided to release the DVD in January. They made this call months ago. If it were my call, I probably would have done a day and day release on all platforms. But I'm usually ahead of the curve.
Oh man. I'd love to debate with you about how day and date multi-platform releases are a fundamentally flawed strategy, and would effectively cannibalize the one remaining distribution outlet (theatrical) that is actually holding onto its market share. But apparently that would be off topic for this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jojo
I might be wrong (highly unlikely), but this thread is devoted to reviews, discussions, and blog posts. Those three things all relate to the movie itself, not the baseless opinions of everyone regarding what Tucker and Nils should do next. In other words, shut the fuck up about things nobody asked your opinion on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tucker Max
This thread is not going to turn into a "Ask Tucker about the movie" thread. I'll post what I think when I post it. Until then, pretend you have a life outside of this message board.
Are these quotes directed at me and my whole 22 posts over the last three months, all chock full of baseless opinions? I guess so, since everybody else's posts have been deleted.
Okay, I get the hint; I'll stop posting here. But I do want to say, before I go -- I find it incredibly strange how quick the mods on this board are to hit the delete button. Obviously Tucker is a divisive personality who's going to attract his share of flamers, and I get banning people who come here specifically with that purpose in mind, but in reading through these boards the last couple weeks I'm shocked at how many actual, contributing posters are still deleted, often for completely arbitrary reasons.
You guys have this great system of post counts and validation points, but yet if something is said that rubs someone the wrong way, it gets deleted. If you disagree with the point or don't think it's germane to the discussion, then certainly say so -- but why delete its entire existence? And yeah, sometimes these long threads can veer off in tangents, but so do long conversations in real life, and those tangents often result in more interesting discussions anyway. Whenever I do public Q&A's, the most interesting ones are always the least moderated -- the ones that are the quickest to open up to questions from the audience. Yeah sure it sometimes results in a fair share of stupid people and comments, but it also always results in the most free-flowing exchanges and debates. By moderating this board as heavily as you do, you're effectively squashing free thought and discussion. I personally don't have any interest posting in a community where you have to worry about what you say and how you say it to avoid getting censored, and I would think most people with half a brain would agree with that. But hey, that's just me -- I live in LA, not communist Cuba.
Regardless, Tucker: best of luck with post-theatrical -- it's a shame to hear they're holding out to January, because that is colossally foolish... but at least they're consistent in that regard.
To everybody else: I honestly didn't come back here to rub Tucker's nose in his failure -- that would make me a hypocrite first and an asshole second. The movies I've been involved with have lost and earned back way more money than this movie will lose (and can still potentially, eventually earn back). I've failed in this business before and I know all too well that I will fail again. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and hope that the knowledge you gain will allow you to make a whole new set of mistakes next time. I've certainly learned a lot from this discussion; hopefully I'm not alone in that regard.
All the best --
Biscuits
"
God Bless Biscuits.
Douchebag site is still crashed for me.
Well, Tucker and the mods have successfully chased off the best opposition to Tucker we've probably ever seen come onto his board. It seems he'll only allow those who are mentally disturbed or borderline retarded to verbally joust with him. It's a shame a real opponent surfaced, and instead of trying to take him on, he is censored and gives up trying to make his point.
I will say, though, this whole Biscuits thing sure was enlightening, and hopefully other fans will see how the bullshit is perpetuated around that place.
Anyone like ot take odds on how long before Biscuits post gets deleted?
Well done Tucker, you have managed to piss off the only knowledgeable, intelligent, moderate well informed poster you have had. You could have learnt but instead you banned.
Thats because I am a Douche. And shit.
"What is it that you want to do over all other things? For me, it's writing and building this empire, so everyday I get up and do it."
- Tucker Max, March 27, 2007
The emperor is a raging douchetard.
Veteran haterz will remember this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/148933211
PS still curious how some of you are still commenting over on the old blog.
For posterity, before it's deleted:
Mike Ockisard
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1
Validation Points: -13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, you can hear a pin drop in here.
After all that, REALLY Jojo? You delete those last two posts? I realize you feel that since Biscuits makes "baseless opinions" which you don't want to hear and that "he should shut the f**k up," I guess everyone else needs to suffer. Take a poll in here and I would bet that the only reason everyone doesn't tell you (and several of the other mods) what they are REALLY thinking, is because you have one hand on your flaccid penis and the other on the "lifetime banishment" button.
At some point, when you're not drunk with power in that "douchebag-with-a clipboard-in-front-of-Hollywood-dive-bar-pretending-to-be-a-swanky-club" kind of way, maybe you can just let a discussion unfold without interfering. Is that possible? Do you think you have the self control?
How about you start a thread where people can say what they want and you don't delete even one post?
Call me a troll and ban me, whatever. I will tell you I am DEFINITELY a hater, but interestingly, it didn't happen until I spent time on these boards. Now that Biscuits is gone, it's just a cesspool of lemmings.
"Cesspool of Lemmings" would be a great name for a Tucker Max Haterz Message Board.
That or Unapologetically Mathculine.
Ryan Holiday updates, pretending nothing happened. Still nothing from Marketing Genius Charlie Hoehn.
Jojo (aka Kamau Coar) is a partner at a law firm in Chicago now. http://www.uhlaw.com/kacoar/
I wonder what his clients and firm would think about him moderating the RMMB in his free time? Grow up, Kamau....
From Ryan Holiday's blog:
The People We Deal With - October 6, 2009
Once while Hadrian walked in the woods of a foreign country, a slave of his host ran out at him with a sword. He grabbed the man and took hold of him while he waited for the attendants who came to his aid. When it was established that the man was deranged, Hadrian asked that he be turned over to doctors and treated. And so the incident ended without the slightest agitation.
This is how we could all respond to the people who come at us. The passive aggressive rivals or snippy family members or bad friends. Hand them back over to their kind before anyone is harmed and move on. Understand that they are ill in their own way and only acting out the symptoms of their affliction, whatever it may be.
Soon enough, like Hadrian's example, the reality of the threat will dissipate and all that will be left is the anecdote. If you can view it like that always, then there is no reason to be upset or shocked or rattled.
–––––––––
Nice point Ryan. Does that mean you're going to stop being so passive aggressive while moderating Tucker's board, and allow people to express beliefs that contradict your own? Okay, here comes the aggressive: stop being such a contradictory hypocrite like your master. Save your high road pontificating for the mirror where you may find the one person who agrees with you.
I wholeheartedly expect you to forgive me and walk away with no ill feelings, should you care to employ the very behavior you espouse. Friends?
400
100 extra Spartans, just to make sure.
This is a repeat story and totally made up. Nice try, Light and Barry.
Wow, Jojo looks like a giant, flaming douche in real life.
Kamau, you suck.
Jojo has been fairly quite on the board for quite some time, and now suddenly hes acting like a butthurt ex who's been abandoned by those who he thought worshiped him. Wake up Tuggers Tugees - the movie sucked. It was not marketing or lack of screens or timing or Darko or Bob or Freestyle. It. Was. A. Bad. Movie.
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