When I first discovered Tucker Max in late 2005 at the age of 21, I was drawn to what I thought was a fascinating and complex contrarian, a subversive iconoclast and maverick, an eccentric and creative person living authentically and on his own terms. A sort of modern-day Lord Byron. I didn’t think there were people like that still out there living in the world, and I was really intrigued by the persona that I wanted to believe was true of the person. Also, being a college student I was of course awed by his supposed wild antics, drinking prowess, and sexual conquests.
As the past five years went by and my own outlook on life matured-- all the while occasionally following his site, his movie blog, and his words and actions surrounding the movie and its promotion-- I realized that I had seen a certain early clue as to what his primary motivation and world-view had either become or always had been.
That early clue was an annotated list of books on his website which he cited as the biggest influences on his writing, thinking and how he lived his life. The list included “Sperm Wars,” “The Red Queen”, and “The 48 Laws of Power”. Actually, that third book may not have been on the list, but I know based on his message board posts that he was very into that book and the writings and philosophy of its author Robert Greene (who was also a featured blogger on the short-lived Rudius Media blogging network). These books are all great and I would encourage anyone to read them; they are truly eye-opening and will give you a lot to think about. They also provide insightful context for what most people who’ve followed him over the years now realize about how Tucker’s mind works.
(The list is still on his site at http://www.tuckermax.com/other/the-tucker-max-reading-list/but it has changed over the years, removing "The Red Queen" and others while adding some new ones.)
Taken together, the world-view that emerges from these three books is that life is an amoral, opportunistic, anything-goes power-struggle to gain as much status (wealth/resources/power/fame) as you can (as a male) in order to have as much reproductive access to women as you can get. The “game of life” is won by males who successfully pursue their two purposes in life: (1) acquire status and resources in order to attract women; and (2) achieve reproductive success (ideally with many different attractive women). Think Donald Trump, Hugh Hefner, Tiger Woods, etc.
Over the years, I think that Tucker became increasingly obsessed with this idea of being an “alpha male,” with always pushing to advance his status in order to get as many women as possible. He may have started out in his late 20s caring about the craft of writing, wanting simply to be a great writer, the next John Kenney Toole(!), and wanting to live the renegade bohemian life that many young men (and women) seem to romanticize. His big message in the early years from 2005-2009 was that the drinking and partying and screwing weren’t really the reason for his appeal; rather, it was that he was someone who had done everything by the books (University of Chicago undergrad and Duke Law School), but then had decided to give it all up in order “to be true to himself,” opting instead to pursue his real passion for writing, fight the man and "live on his own terms."
(Personally I think that this was always BS and he knew it, trying to intellectualize what was nothing more than a lucky break into publishing a few sensationalistic sex-and-beer stories that he wrote for a quick shot at fame and a quick buck. But this is just a classic example among countless cases of Tucker “re-framing” reality with his own spin. He somehow was such a screw-up that he got fired three weeks into his 2L summer job for acting up, something that is basically unheard of in the legal profession and would have seriously damaged if not altogether torpedoed his legal career. But Tucker always finds a way to “own” his failures and claim that they are really somehow “successes”. It’s quite astounding how brazenly he does it, really.)
At any rate, by his early 30s—as happens to many men—he started to realize that his whole rebel-writer-who-tells-poopy-joke shtick has an inherently short shelf life and doesn’t mean *beep* in the real world. He probably saw all his former classmate at Duke Law—you know, the ones who actually went to class—driving Porsches (meanwhile he had a crappy tiny apartment in Chicago/NYC and then an even tinier crappy apartment with roommates in LA). He certainly would have looked around in LA while producing his movie and realized that funny stories and acting cocky-funny may get you laid with 7s and 8s one weekend at a time, but if you really want to bring home the big game (the 10s, the models and actresses), you need to grow up and start gaining some serious status and making some serious bucks (i.e. build up a Rudius Media Empire). On some level he decided (although maybe this was really the sole goal all along) that the single most important thing in his life was to live up to his “I’m an alpha male” mantra and aggressively pursue status/wealth/power/fame. That’s when all his talk started about taking over the world with his Rudius Media Empire (a major independent film studio like Lionsgate! Crossbow ranges! Private jets!). Sadly for him, after reaching the highest he fell the furthest and hardest.
I don’t think he has yet learned the humility required to dust himself off, admit he failed abysmally, learn from it, and try again. I don’t think he ever will. I think he will take the easy way out, which is to live indefinitely in denial that he did anything wrong. He will probably follow A$$holes Finish First with one more book he promised over the last year or two (Hilarity Ensues?)-- IF he's able to get that published, and that's a big if-- and maybe a "tell-all" book about the movie (a "cautionary tale for indie filmmakers"?) -- and will do a few more speaking tours with naïve 21-year-olds before his dwindling D-list web-celebrity and the IHTSBIH book sales have flat-lined by late 2011, and then… I just don't see him ever being able to work in film again as a producer after losing 10 million on his debut-- at least, not with anyone else's money. He might be able to find some work as a TV show comedy writer in Austin or back in NYC (not possible in LA after pulling a Troy Duffy and burning every possible bridge)-- but if there's anything he's proved all these years it's that he's incapable of working FOR anyone else, and has an extremely difficult time working WITH anyone else, so I don't really see that playing out unless he evolves.
In any case, I just don’t see him ever really being heard of again (at least, not in any productive, significant way), because that would require him to admit how much he’s screwed up and screwed people over before moving on. He would rather spend the rest of his 30s and all of his 40s sitting in bars in Austin telling impressionable Texas college girls that he is “a New York Times bestselling author Duke Law grad with a movie about his life,” buying them a couple beers and then taking them back to his *beep* little apartment for a sloppy night with "the jackhammer". Rinse, repeat. Getting a creepy reputation? Start frequenting a different bar. While a pitiably empty way to live out your life, it’s an easy-out. But of course that's speculation, who knows? I'd say everyone deserves a second chance, but there are exceptions to every aphorism, and in this case Tucker Max is probably it.
"Tucker told people to start pre-ordering it on the 16th November of 2006, slating it for release in fall 2007. Then that got pushed back from fall 2007 to fall 2008. Well look, here we are in fall 2008 and there's no sign of the book."
lol.
It was pretty clear even before it hit theatres that The Hangover was going to do well, but I don't think anyone expected it to make quite this much money without any major stars in it.
"congratulations on wasting 15 dollars d bag."
Yeah I'm pretty sure that buying the book itself was a waste of 15 dollars.
"Fucking losers are just sad that you live a boring life. The fact that you did that, video taped it, uploaded it onto youtube shows how sad your life really is."
"...but yo prolly just dont have a sense of humor so you should just shut the fuck up and u really do need to get a life if all do is sit around all day and burn books just because u dont like them"
Yeah. I've got nothing better to do than run down Tucker Max. You can clearly see I'm pouring my life into it. That's why this website is updated thrice daily as me and Barry toil at the printing presses making pamphlets to spread the truth. Please don't forget to subscribe to our RSS and instant text messaging alerts so you can get breaking Tucker Max news as it happens.
"have fun living with yourself knowing that you might be the biggest tool box on youtube. Enjoy the pathetic excuse you have of a life you sad little hypocrite. "
I'm definitely the biggest toolbox on Youtube, but I used to be second to a video of some guy choking out a colleague on the set of a film whilst a small-handed, lispy fuckstick videotaped it. Lucky for me that video got taken down, so now the title is mine!!
Judging from the grammar and idiocy displayed, a lot of Tucker's fans are young teenagers and probably won't be able to get in to see IHTSBIH if it gets R-rated. Kind of makes their relentless fanboy'ing all the more hilarious.
This comment was left on one of my most recent posts, in regards to how many people attend Tucker Max book signings:
Hello, I know this is a bit late, but I noticed you asked questions about his book signing. http://to-be-revised.blogspot.com/2009/01/gg-draft-2.html This is just the rough draft of an account of his book signing in Chicago.I hoped it came off as, for the most part, impartial. I'm kind of a sickeningly positive person though... so if you want just the gist of it. The turn out was huge. I would say it was close to four hundred who came in all, if not more. I'm really not exaggerating. Even after he left some people still came in and that was around 9.45 pm.Hope that helps.
Sadly that link is down at the moment. If the report is true that's a pretty impressive turnout. Tucker Max as a piece of pop culture seems to slowly be coming more into the mainstream.
I was sitting in a bar with a few friends not too long ago, when one guy (a journalism major, really cool guy) turns to me and asks if I've heard of Tucker Max. I tell him I know about him and I've read the book. He tells me about the movie coming soon and about the new book which will be even funnier than the first. I tell him I think a lot of Tucker's stories are bullshit, and he replies so quickly "Yeah! Of course!! They're hugely embellished. He's full of shit"
"Then why do you read them?" I asked.
"Because they're entertaining."
I couldn't help roll my eyes. Even Tucker's fans know his stories are bullshit. But it seems that one small fact isn't stopping him from becoming popular.
Why do I even bother?
Before I get to my maiden entry on this, the sole surviving 'Tucker-hatred-blog', I think it might be worthwhile to tell everyone a little about myself. That way, I can perhaps quell the persistent notion among Tuckster's 'e-army' that all 'haterz (yo)' are basement-dwelling losers. Also, other 'haterz (wurd)' can take solace in the fact that at least some of us are normal human beings. Skip the following paragraph if you're not interested.
I'm a few years younger than Tucker, but unlike him, I actually served in the armed forces after I graduated from high school. During my time in service (half of which I spent overseas), I was able to build up a nice stash of money, which I turned into more money, thanks to the wise counsel of men much smarter than me. I am now financially independent, and am just finishing grad school. I have a beautiful, loving wife and a son whom I adore. I am knee-deep in several projects that I think are going to be very successful in the next few years. In short, I have a full, fulfilling life. I don't live in my parents' basement, and I don't obsess over all things Tucker. My interest in this ongoing e-saga has less to do with any personal derision for someone I've never met, and more to do with what his popularity and acceptance say about the state of modern society. Hopefully, this concern is what fuels most of the 'haters' (g funk)' dislike for old man Max.
Wildean references aside, I have occasionally wondered what it is about Tuckster that riles me so. True, his insistence on glorifying a shallow, vapid lifestyle (and his encouragement for others to do the same) is offensive and disturbing. What would have made him a social pariah fifty short years ago is what makes him allegedly successful in this, the era where the so-called X-generation has assumed its place as the driving force in the cultural milieu.
However, what makes Tucker unique, even in a generation that glorifies selfishness, excess, and the vandalism of traditional ideals, is his persistent certainty that what he is doing is important. Now, this entry isn't concerned with analysis of why Tuck has such a desperate need to believe that he's important, but it should be fairly obvious to anyone who's followed the silly pseudo-saga of his life and career that he has deep self-image issues, back of his conscious self-awareness. It stands to reason, then, that no matter what he does, he must do it in such a way as to be able to rationalize it as objectively significant in the world.
If we had Tuckmeister here to question (Tucker, you're welcome anytime, but be aware - you're not among friends, brah), the first thing I would ask him to do is explain why, in an objective way, his body of 'work' is possibly important. He would undoubtedly mutter something about how popular response validates his 'art' (of course, all that line of reasoning does is justify things like NKOTB or, Heaven forbid, Creed). When that level of discourse fell apart, he'd retort that he's giving a voice to a heretofore-ignored sector of people (as though nobody ever drank or screwed before this generation); he'd wrap up his apologetic with some tripe about how objective standards of greatness in art are dead anyway, and how if we can't see what makes his writing great, we're naive, or blinded by hatred/fear, or some such garbage.
Looking for the perfect late Kwanzaa gift for that 'lovable narcissist' in your life?
You see, no matter what the objection, Tucker has a ready-made response that, at least in his own mind (and the hollow minds of those who think like him), negates whatever legitimate criticism there is, and re-centers his self-perception on the foundational belief that he is truly important. He thinks money equals importance. He thinks controversy validates his actions. God help him, he even thinks that temporal, unstable measuring standards like book sales and site hits confirm what he thinks he knows about his place in the world.
I don't mean to assert that the things Tucker does - chasing girls, drinking to excess, having lots of wild and zany adventures - are not fun and exciting things. I did those things when I was younger, too, and though I don't chase girls anymore, as my wife would probably feel uncomfortable with such an activity, I still enjoy the occasional bender and the sordid adventures that it entails. It's just that I don't regard those things, or my enthusiasm for reliving them through animated storytelling, as 'great things'. They're kid-things. They're still fun to do, but how sad would it be if those things were the very foundation for my 'life's work?' Would that not make me a truly pitiful human being in the big picture? If my greatest skill was my ability to tell stories of my own debauchery, could I really be satisfied with the expanse of my influence on this world? Yet, for Tucker, those things not only define him, but he believes they validate him as a real and vital contributor to society and art. He really doesn't understand that his 'fans' will someday grow up and move on, and that subsequent generations will regard his 'art' with about the same esteem that I regard my father's drinking-and-screwing tales (which is to say, none).
This is why, for all the discussion and analysis, humorous and serious, that we do, that Gawker does, that the Script Reader does, and that anyone anywhere does, we are powerless to ever get through to him. His self-image is borne of a self-preservation mechanism that had its beginnings long before he was old enough to drink a beer. It is, at this point, automatic for him, and it’s going to take either a catastrophic, monumental event in his life, or his very death, to ever get him to see that his is truly a life wasted.
I apologize for the lack of humor (and the lack of brevity) in this entry. I just figured that it might be worthwhile to throw something thoughtful up here, both to give voice to the serious concerns that cause us to mock Tucker and wish for his downfall, and to add a little substance to this, the only remaining outpost of organized Tucker-hatred still standing on this glorious web of ours.
