Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I'm amazed

that I could remember my log-in for this.


I gotta say, living in a Tucker free world is pretty damn good.

122 comments:

Anonymous said...

In other news: Nils still fat.

Anonymous said...

http://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelellsberg/2012/01/18/tucker-max-gives-up-the-game/

Following the flop of his last book and epic disaster of a movie, he's out doing interviews to promote his new book. His new angle is he's matured and this is the last book.
Then he proceeds to launch into the same hilariously preposterous boasts like the childish narcissist he still is. Says he's rich and famous and sold close to 3 million books. (he's in debt living in a shitty apt with a couple losers in Austin.)

The only thing funny in the last 6 years about him has been laughing at him. Reality. This book will bomb worst than the last, and he'll never get another deal...

Nils Parker's Agent said...

Here is the deal--any money Tucker makes on the books have been assigned to cover his debts on the movie. So he gets nada, zilch, bumpkis, nothing, zero, gooseegg, null on the book sales.

I made more in interest paid on my checking account alone then Max did the past three years combined.

Anonymous said...

http://www.tuckermax.com/blog/giveaway/

What do you say? Anybody want to go 50 / 50?

Anonymous said...

Nils is stil fat, and Tucky is still writing his own reviews on pub day.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A1F0Y1WVUOFJBH/ref=cm_cr_dp_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

I will see if I can find a torrent, and post it here.

Anonymous said...

Can't be more obvious he wrote the reviews. Check the "see all my reviews" link next to the "reviewers" name. 3 reviews posted on pub day. All 3 reviewers have only written reviews for Tucker Maxth, the buttsexth king's books. This is probably the 20th time he has written "5 years on the NYTimes bestseller list. invent a new literary genre" in his self-defense replies under numerous anonymous names on blogs.

Apparently Animal House, Porky's, and the other 50 movies/books about drinking, college, insults and sex 30 years before tucker never happened.

Anonymous said...

After his epic fail movie lost millions, and his subsequent blacklisting by Hollywood for being the biggest asshole on the planet, it appears he was unable to secure a large advance for the book. MOst likely it is self-published. A search for Blue Heeler - non existent company.

Then I did a search for the address - its a PO box!! (suite 220 yuk yuk) next to the shitty apt he lives in. Bet the box has more tubes of anal eaze than royalty checks.

Anonymous said...

Here's the Blue Heeler Publisher address from inside cover.

http://www.theupsstorelocal.com/0233/

Anonymous said...

You've got to be kidding me! I did a search, and can't find shit on Blue Heeler Press/Books. A blue heeler is some kind of dog, and if I remember correctly Tucky has a thing for dogs. Not an illegal film a woman without her consent while he coerces her into buthsext, but a certain passion for puppies. Nice to know that after 4 times a week psychoanalysis he is still pleased with that story enough to let it lead Sloppy Seconds.

As a side note he is no longer listed at Gallery Press - the Simon Schuster imprint that published AFF. Interested to see if there will be any press.

Anonymous said...

"South-By-Southwest (SXSW) is an annual conference in Austin, TX that hosts most of the big players in tech, internet, and music. It's a pretty good conference, as far...."

looks like someone's bitter about his shitty movie getting rejected from SXSW

Anonymous said...

This arrogant douchebag's pathology knows no boundaries. For great laughs, check out the reviews he's writing and posting under other names. Apparently he's now a brilliant, mature, Hemingway. Even a cursory glance you can see how he repeats himself throughout all of them.

Great news, and no surprise. The book is dropping like a rock. From 7 to 70 in 5 days. This could be another hilarious fail in the making. Seeing as he believes all his bullshit, and went the self-publish route; he probably took a loan out and printed an absurd amount of copies...and will now be stuck with the bulk of them; with the added bonus of incurring shipping charges from bookstore returns.

Son. You didn't just fail. You Tucker Max failed. Bankruptcy Ensues.

Anonymous said...

Just for fun I went to see if I could find a torrent of HE. I couldn't but when you search for Tucker Max the most hits you get are for a porno titled Tucker in Max. Downloaded it, and although not my particular cup of tea, it had way better production values/plot than the IHTSBIH feature. Not to mention the guy playing Tucker looked like he was having a good time, and not worrying about his career being ruined.

Anonymous said...

HE is up at your better bit torrent sites; let the hate commence.

Cockly McBeefwell said...

Tucker all but admits to being a douchebag in that Forbes article. When will he also admit that his stories are either gross exaggerations or outright lies?

Anonymous said...

"Hilarity Ensues" was released on 7 Feb 2012. As of 19 March:

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #641 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

#56 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor


He's done. Hasta la vista, douchebag.

Anonymous said...

From the Forbes interview:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelellsberg/2012/01/18/tucker-max-gives-up-the-game/

“I’m so far up the power law curve of book sales, dude,” Tucker told me. I’m all the way at the tip. I’m on the same tier as Tim Ferriss or Chelsea Handler or Jeanette Walls—we’re in the 2, 3, 4 million range.”

Try the completely irrelevant basement tier. Industry reported book sales for the first month of release of his new book. 644 copies. This month projected is less than 500.

http://www.novelrank.com/asin/1451669038

The pinnacle of a pathological sociopath douchebag.

Anonymous said...

You guys are obsessing too much over his failures, and it really comes off as a bitter chick he made a story about. Sure he lies and maybe fabricates more than 80% of his stories, but big deal. This may surprise you.. Not everything in movies is real. Dumb asses. And a blog dedicated to hating him? Get a life. And since 2008? Really?

BIFFOMATIC said...

http://hotair.com/headlines/archives/2012/04/05/why-wont-planned-parenthood-take-500000-from-tucker-max/

So where did he get the 500K from?

Anonymous said...

http://www.reddit.com/r/bookexchange/comments/tw7ml/send_assholes_finish_first_by_tucker_max_want_an/c4r21p8

Pretty funny.

Anonymous said...

http://www.itsuptoyou.net/

Tucker Max and Nils "Butterbeast" Parker's latest and greatest effort.

Anonymous said...

He is funny as hell. And he got your attention, Enough to make you spend your time talking shit on here anyway. And most of what your saying is right... He admits it... You sound like you are some washed up bitter girl from his story. Tucker Max is hilarious and awsome!

Anonymous said...

>>> Tucker Max is hilarious and awsome!


You forgot that he is also a liar, full of shit, has burnt all his bridges in the entertainment industry, is shorter than 6' and is also broke.

Oh - and Nils is fat.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had said this:



Anonymous said...
We're closing in on another school year which is coincidentally Tucker's Last Stand. His crappy books have been exorcised from the NY Times Best Sellers supplemental lists for months; in fact I suspect that his last books (AFF and whatever) cannibalized sales from IHTSBIH, which put IHTSBIN in a death spiral. That explains why I haven't even seen IHTSBIN at airports. Now Tucker's fate rests in the hands of dweeb freshmen, and the willingness of college bookstores to carry IHTSBIH.

Knowing Tucker he visits this blog. My advice to you Tucker is to lampoon your character, though it is probably too late for anyone to care. Either have a relationship with a tranny or better, dress up as a tranny and tell everyone that IHTSBIH was a fabrication. Hell, you got the lisp and the classic overcompensating body language and demeanor, everyone will believe you. Tell Ryan Holiday you aren't really straight and have him set you up on a multi-campus speaking tour. Given the passage of time since Duke Law and your piss poor work ethic you'll never pass any state bar... I would say go for broke but you're already there.

It's a good gamble. Your only alternative is to ask daddy to take you back as a bus boy or something.



-Grant

8/06/2012 9:38 AM

Michael Matthews said...

u are all limp dick pussies that need to get a life and a girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

Tucker's stories have always transcended time and space. He was using an early 80's video camera with self destructing cassette tapes in 2000 to film buttseth. Hotels like the Embassy Suites in the early 2000s apparently did not require credit cards to reserve rooms and prevent damages to toilets and common areas. There was no surveillance video, alarm, or police report in the late 90s. Tucker's world, where you could commit felonies, misdemeanors, and vandalism with impunity and without leaving any police, insurance, or business record, apparently continued well into the computer and video age. His world was a lot like the world of 1970s and 80ss, like Animal House, Diner and Porky's. In other words, fiction. A groundbreaking genre Tucker claimed to have invented 30 years later.

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Anonymous said...

So 2012 is going to end in a little over a week.

Tucker has done nothing of consequence during this year.


Paperback: 448 pages
Publisher: Blue Heeler Books; Original edition (November 6, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1619610035
ISBN-13: 978-1619610033
Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 1.4 inches

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,430 in Books

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Anonymous said...

Tim Ferris totally made Tucker his bitch. He used him at SXSW a few years ago, used him to pimp his website and now left him like a pile of dog shit on the side of the road.

Way to choose your friends wisely, Tucker.

BTW - Ferris' "4 Hr Body" book is total bullshit so don't waste your money on it. Besides it is free on several torrent sites.

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Anonymous said...

You know atleast got off his lazy ass and followed a dream. I dont like the guy or his stuff but atleast he is doing something instead of posting garbage.

Anonymous said...

I have to say...I was a huge fan of the Tucker Max books. I picked one up at random at a book store, and I couldn't put it down. I literally laughed until I cried. I was such a huge fan that I wrote Tucker an email with pictures (figuring he wouldn't respond either way, but my chances were better with pictures). Needless to say, I was shocked when he randomly emailed me to meet him. And believe me...I didn't meet him with any intention to sleep with him, and I didn't despite his subtle attempts. He was a complete asshole upon meeting him...granted, I knew what to expect, but I didn't really know how true it was. After we sat and talked for awhile, he seemed genuinely kind and good hearted with a real interest in getting to know me...and after an hour of that....he was a complete asshole again. I really didn't know what to make of it other than he is incredibly insecure, cannot handle criticism on any level, has had a very bad family life that he attempts to heal himself in the cruelest way possible....by hurting others who put a mirror in front of his face. He wants a woman who is sweet and strong, but yet he cannot handle the criticism that comes from her strength and knowledge. I literally was walking on eggshells with him the entire time, and I felt the only way he could connect to me is when he asked me to open up about some sad topics from my past...he seemed to like it in a very sadistic way....he got amunition against me, and he tried to manipulate me with it. I feel like he has severe issues....as can be seen from his book. I felt sorry for him in a way, and I did get a good grasp of who he is. I don't think he's a horrible person...he does horrible things to people because he is hurting and wants to destroy anything that can come close to revealing who he really is to himself....he's in extreme denial. This, however, is unacceptable behavior. I am happy he is in therapy, but I feel for the therapist that attempts to reveal truth to his ignorance.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

You know atleast got off his lazy ass and followed a dream. I dont like the guy or his stuff but atleast he is doing something instead of posting garbage.

February 8, 2013 at 5:23 PM



Did you know atleast is TWO FUCKING WORDS?

He might not be posting garbage but he sure as hell is writing it.

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"Since I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell first came out and became the huge success and cultural touchstone that it has,"

says tucker on Feb 5 of this year
http://tuckermax.me/thoughts-on-the-total-frat-move-book/

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He stole EVERYTHING from an actual talented author regaling a true story; a famous viral google groups story. He stole the author's writing style, subject matter, attitude, time stamp technique, ...even down to the overuse of the word AWESOME. The story came out 7 years before Beer in Hell urban legends was released.

Here's the original author's Story posted on Google groups in 1999(when Tucker was still in college).

https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups=#!msg/rec.sport.football.college/JlQDLS7vXzc/-sy90DC1u80J

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