Sunday, September 13, 2009

To read.... the untrollable blog...

Anyone who's following the disaster zone that is Tucker Max's life and 'career' knows exactly what I'm talking about when I write things like 'douchebag', 'doucebag', 'TATGuy', 'Viacom guy', and so forth; they're cherished and beloved characters, like the sort you remember from the fairy tales you loved as a child.

Oh, wait- did I say 'cherished and beloved'? I meant 'hated and despised'. You see, for all of the benefits of using the abandoned site http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/, there is one glaring flaw: it's un-moderated- Cockly doesn't remember the log-on credentials, so there's effectively no way for him (or anyone else) to do away with pesky troll comments.

That's where this entry comes in. I'm hoping we can use it as a catch-all discussion forum for all things Tucker, like we've been doing with Cockly's site for the last two years. I can assure you that the more... 'illustrious' trollers won't be able to pull their garbage here.

Please, pass the word. The discussion at the Doucebag-blog is often interesting, funny, etc., it just needs to be troll-free. With this site and your help, it can happen.

EDIT: Please understand, this is not a matter of anyone having 'Fuck You, Banned' powers over the people who post here. It is, rather, a way for us to keep discussions on-point without having the comments devolve into posts about Russian mail-order brides, the evils of Viacom, and random ramblings about the Federal Reserve. No more of that racist nonsense, either.

453 comments:

1 – 200 of 453   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Thanks Bazza. I'd like to start the ball rolling by copying this comment from the "spoiler " thread on Tuggers site:

"I saw the screening in Los Angeles tonight at the Directors Guild of America. While it wasn't well attended (although I saw Bob Gosse, looking unhappy) and there were perhaps two media members present - which isn't surprising considering the MSM blackout of the movie - it underscores how crucial word of mouth is going to be for this movie to succeed."

Ottos answer to this was to say he deliberatly only showed it to two media people because one of them was from the Times so form soem obsure reason I couln't quite follow it was a good thing. Question to anyone in the industry - does this sound like something you would do - deliberately only choose two mainstream media to a showing ? Or would you invite anyone and everyone who could possibly get your story into some kind of print?

Anonymous said...

Didn't TDG post on the other board that he was going to the Chicago show? What to scoop TDG? I'm dying to hear your view on it.

Anonymous said...

I don't mind Ukrainian bride guy, he sort of hits and runs. But mccoy is a fucking loony bin.

Barry Bater said...

Yeah, mccoy is probably the single biggest reason I set this post up. Random-cut-and-paste Guy is pretty annoying, too- not because he posts often, but because when he DOES, his posts are ridiculously long.

Racist Guy/Fake-TDG Guy and 'Harass-Bunny-Guy' are pretty irritating, too. Basically, as long as the post is actually about Tucker, or tangentially related in some way, it'll stay up. Ukranian-bride-Guy is a minor offender, but I'm still trashing his posts if they show up here.

TDG, I hope you're reading this! This is the new place to post, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Viacom buys Russian mail-order brides with fake Fed money to hide the fact that Tucker is a doucebag!

(too much?)

The Deconstruction Guy said...

I went to the Chicago show last night. It was totally awesome and I had a great time. I'm even in a picture with Tucker with me holding my SWAG bag. I can't wait to pay more money out of my pocket to make Tucker richer.

Okay, enough with that nonsense. I was incognito last night and played the part of "classic Tucker fan" (I'm even in a picture with Tucker).

First off, the movie sucks, and it's easy to pinpoint why it sucks. The character of Tucker Max has no humanity. A lot of other people will say a lot more words, but that's the sum of what I got out of it. The character has no soul and might as well be a cartoon character in a bad Ralph Bakshi movie. On top of that, it's a cartoon character in a cartoon plotted story. If the Hangover is The Transformers then IHTSBIH is The GoBots, only it's a bad rip off of The GoBots with even worse dialogue and carbon copy characters from other better done cartoons.

This film is going to be ripped to shreds by critics as it might be the most unlikable film of all time. A biopic about Hitler (played by OJ Simpson) would be more likable. You have a totally dislikable character, where, if you don't find him charming and witty like Tucker hopes you will, you're going to hate this film overall. I can't see most of America connecting with this at all. The situations he gets in are thinly drawn out and badly directed. The dialogue falls flat every single time they go off the book page and rely on the scripted page.

Is it offensive? Not really. Maybe it would have been back in 1989, but by today's standard it's tame.

IHTSBIH's fatal flaw though is that it's just not that funny. To illustrate how unfunny it was, I will tell you the scenerio where I laughed the most while at the film.

Have you ever been at a movie that you've seen the trailer for 1000 times, yet when that scene is played out onscreen for the 1001st time there is always one or two people who force laughter as though it's now totally and completely funny as the first time they've seen it? And when I say "force" I mean they laugh at it like they just took the best shit ever? That is exactly what watching this film was like, only multiply it by about 100 and you'll know my pain. This happens over and over in the film, and frankly it just doesn't work on screen, but for the idiots, it works like the miracle worker.

Yes, Tucker is going to shit himself, there is no set up because we already know the outcome and we're going to see it in all it's glory. Now prepare your mind for this, I heard at least 3 people say this:

"I can't wait to see him shit himself."

and imagine TDG laughing his head off at the absurdity of it all. To me, watching idiots get excited about somebody shitting themselves, and outwardly talking about it amongst themselves might have been the funniest moment of my viewing of this premie... er... screening.

More later tomorrow or sometime so I can tell you my run in with Bill Dawes.

-TDG

Anonymous said...

"A biopic about Hitler (played by OJ Simpson) would be more likable."

Hahahaha! Glad you made the jump. Hope Fake Tucker Story Guy comes too.

Anonymous said...

come on guys, 1000 posts by sep.25!

Anonymous said...

So glad this blog is here. Thanks, Barry!

As for Tucker, my obsession with seeing what outrageous thing he's going to do next--and by "outrageous", keep in mind that I don't mean hijinxy, I mean delusional--has waned a bit, as his whole tour is a variation on:

Ohmigod, bros, this one time this guy was like, [blah], and I was like [blah]! I totally burned him!

Rather than his old schtick, which amounted to him claiming he invented the question mark (thank you, Mike Myers). The incredibly delusional stuff was more jaw-droppingly irritating, but when he actually starts doing the stuff he always claims he does--screwing ladies and getting drunk--it's not that interesting to me. I think the next, interesting part will be the rationalizations starting on September 28.

Anonymous said...

yes I agree - theres going to be some mighty funny fiction come out from 25th onwards. And I'm not talking about the movie.

Anonymous said...

Another critical laud for a revolutionary work...or not:
http://media.www.bcheights.com/media/storage/paper144/news/2009/09/14/ArtsReview/Tucker.Maxs.Movie.Is.Probably.Shown.In.Hell-3770172.shtml

Anonymous said...

this is a good idea. damn trolls were makin the other site impossible to follow.

NoNicknameGuy said...

There has been a steady accumulation of negative reviews for the movie, but the "haters" section of the IHTSBIH movie blog has remained barren (only the gawker review is displayed). I therefore submit that Tucker Max is a pussy.

Anonymous said...

In response to no nickname guy:

I haven't been keeping track, but how many of the hater reviews come from anything like a reputable site? Not that Gawker is particularly reputable, but it's at least a well-known site. At least one of the hater reviews, IIRC, comes from a college newspaper.

On another note, I should say, I was impressed by the fact that the NYT published an article about the dingus. It criticized him, but I think it was too subtle either for TM or for his readership.

Also, why do people call him Otto?

--Waiting for 9/28 Guy

Anonymous said...

^^^ it came out a while back that Tucker's first name was originally going to be Otto. something about his dad changing the name at the last. or something like that. i they did an interview with the dad or something.

NoNicknameGuy said...

"I haven't been keeping track, but how many of the hater reviews come from anything like a reputable site? Not that Gawker is particularly reputable, but it's at least a well-known site. At least one of the hater reviews, IIRC, comes from a college newspaper."

Define reputable? A large number of the positive reviews posted have been pasted directly from the TMMB.

Anonymous said...

I'm happy that this place exists...the other blog was becoming unreadable.

I agree with whoever above said that they can't wait until after the 25th. TM is gonna need some serious rationalisations to explain away the lack of monetary and critical success of his piece of shit movie, despite his absolutely convinced predictions to the contrary. I'm sort of excited to see what he comes up with.

Anonymous said...

i have confirmation from UT that they still have tickets available as of 5 pm on Friday.

so much for selling his show out in the town upon which his story is based.

dumbfuck.

Anonymous said...

"I haven't been keeping track, but how many of the hater reviews come from anything like a reputable site"

More and more blogs/student reviews/indy reviews are coming on. And they all seem to be universally negative. Mainly they are not people who have even heard of Tucker, they just thought his movie was terrible.

http://www.statenews.com/index.php/article/2009/09/maxs_vulgar_film_pathetic_rarely_funny

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Red-Band-Rant-Fall-Movies-Guaranteed-To-Be-Terrible-14658.html

http://media.www.bcheights.com/media/storage/paper144/news/2009/09/14/ArtsReview/Tucker.Maxs.Movie.Is.Probably.Shown.In.Hell-3770172.shtml

Anonymous said...

He's just fucked. September/October are the worst months to release movies.

Look at 2 wide releases just this weekend. Sorority Row and Whiteout. Both had advertisements months ago before other movies, before commercials on regular network (NBC, ABC, Fox, CBS), and have some name actors.

They averaged around 2k per theater. No compare that to IHTSBIH, which is opening 130 (or is it 450?) Screens.

It would take TM fans seeing the movie on repeated occassions to gross anywhere near 2k per theater.

And he's going up against strong competition the week previous, the first week, and then following weeks. There are at least 4-5 wide releases every weekend from here till October when he wants to go wide.

His film will just be drowned out of any mainstream note.

Anonymous said...

Thing is, that sort of lie is just the run of the mill ordinary sort of lie; it's what we've come to expect of him. What I'm looking forward to is what he says in the days after the 25th, when his movie utterly fails to do anything.

Anonymous said...

BTW, Chicago, Lexington, and Columbus were all:
"Awesome." In fact most of the stops on the tour can be summed up by that one word. Trust me. When you have Bill Dawes, Tucker, and Nils Parker in the bus, enough beer to the Hank Williams, Jr. tour drunk, and Ryan Seacrest's leftovers, can it be anything else but "awesome." Raise your hands if you thought the tour would be anything but awesome.

As an aside, pmc's theory on imdb that Tucker is a latent homo is worth reading.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about that being worth reading.

I'm finding PMC to become more mccoy-like in recent weeks. He just can't help himself, he has an addiction to writing about Otto.

I honestly wish he'd cut it out because he's rallying TM supporters.

Anonymous said...

"As the trio trots from dive bar to strip club, the film begins to look like the creators went into a joke shop to pluck props and plot lines."

But this movie is revolutionary dude! Its a completly original never before seen genre-inventing ground-breaking experience!

Anonymous said...

Breaking news from the Chicago premier - the movie was awesome. Tucker made incredible funny and witty putdowns to everyone who spoke to him. Dill Dawes insulted women, deaf people, old people gays and blacks, and was the only one who thought he was funny. Random people in a empty lobby made embarressed half hearted endorsements to come see it.
Yawn.

Anonymous said...

tucker max is gay. this movie is going to epic fail.

Anonymous said...

By "reputable" I mean from well-known newspapers and websites; not necessarily the NYT, but The Philadelphia Inquirer, Sacramento Bee, Slate, New York Magazine, etc.

Obviously, those newspapers won't have reviews up until the week IHTSBIH comes out, but I'm just saying that I don't take college newspapers seriously (neither their bad reviews nor their good reviews, which is basically all the reviews linked to on TM's site), unless they come from a really extraordinary university (like Harvard) or from a university with a good film department, and that has a film major writing the review (USC, NYU).

-9/28 guy

Anonymous said...

"Obviously, those newspapers won't have reviews up until the week IHTSBIH comes out, but I'm just saying that I don't take college newspapers seriously (neither their bad reviews nor their good reviews, which is basically all the reviews linked to on TM's site), unless they come from a really extraordinary university (like Harvard) or from a university with a good film department, and that has a film major writing the review (USC, NYU)."

True. But this is where Tucker has chosen to go in the hopes that gullible college fan boys will give him great reviews. When the reputable reviews start to pan his film, he was hoping he could say. . . they don't get the college audience--the college circuit all gave it a rave. The fact that the college reviews have generally been luke warm or negative has not helped the promotion of this film. Not every college paper has even reviewed the movie. I think that Tucker underestimated the intelligence of most of the college audience. The fact that this film has come on the heels of The Hangover, which is universally beloved by the college set doesn't help him in setting a reasonable comparison.

What does annoy me is that the "journalists" covering the tour are not even doing real journalism about the tour. At one point does a real reporter say: OK, who was the major distributor who made the offer that you rejected in order to keep creative control. Can I have a name to confirm that part of your story. I'm going to check with bookscan or your agent to confirm your claim that the book sold a million. You claim that you received a seven figure offer for the script. Can you give me the name and company who made the offer? Did your popularity suffer after the opie and anthony interview. Do you have any evidence to support the contention in the original story that a major hotel chain banned you after this incident. Can we have the name of the little person, or some witnesses that can confirm that this was based on a true story? Or call the minor league hockey team?

Instead, the NYT does a puff piece without checking any background. And none of the other "news sources" bothered poking around.

Anonymous said...

^^ All good points. I'm really curious as to how long it takes for anyone to care enough to call Embassy Suites up and ask about Tucker's supposed lifetime ban.

The Deconstruction Guy said...

My Date With Bill Dawes:

So I went to the Chicago premi... er... screening. It was a pretty horrible movie, but that's not why I went.

As I have said before, I did not go by myself to the movie. I thought I was too late for the tickets, but miracle of miracles, I was able to not only get tickets for myself, but for my friends Everette and Troy as well. “Sold Out” really doesn’t have the same meaning in Tucker’s world as it does in real life, but alas. Originally I really had no idea on who I was going to bring to the show when I got the tickets, so I decided to call up two of my black friends because I thought they’d find Tucker Max to be HILARIOUS just like white frat boys.

So I told Everette about the movie, and he had NO IDEA WHO TUCKER MAX WAS!!! So I showed him the site, told him that a movie was made about the subject and that he had a free ticket to go TO THE PREMIERE!!!

About an hour later Everette called me back to say “no fucking way.” He also said that his writing seemed like the next chapter on the website www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. In other words, he wasn’t feeling it. He also said that there was absolutely no way that most of these stories happened. I told him that he underestimated the power of white priviledge and he could call him out on his bullshit TO HIS FACE!!!

So we went. Everette called his friend Troy up (also black) to come and witness what was going to happen. Troy also NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX BEFORE, yet Everette compelled him to show up, saying “Troy, we’re going to fuck with racist frat boys”.

Anyway, we saw the movie. Throughout the movie Everette kept telling me that he was going to punch me for taking him to the show. Obviously he wasn't feeling it. Movie ends, and we wait around for the big Q&A, but for some reason, Bill Dawes would not come near us with the mic. At some point or another he came by us, made eye contact with me, looked at my large black friends and moved to another lucky Tucker fan a few rows ahead of us.

Probably a good thing too, as Everette already had a question ready: "Do you really think you're fooling anybody outside of these morons?"

My question was also simple: "Why is the revolution only at 75% capacity?"

Unfortunately we didn't get that far as we sat through about 40 minutes of lame ass sex stories from dumb white kids (and when I say "kids", I mean "under 18" because that was the description for at least 1/2 the crowd. Don't believe me? Look at his pictures from the Chicago show), we decided to leave and wait outside to see if we could meet Bill Dawes on camera.

And meet him we did.

-TDG

Anonymous said...

"But this is where Tucker has chosen to go in the hopes that gullible college fan boys will give him great reviews. When the reputable reviews start to pan his film, he was hoping he could say. . . they don't get the college audience--the college circuit all gave it a rave. The fact that the college reviews have generally been luke warm or negative has not helped the promotion of this film."

That's a good point. I stand corrected for neglecting the relevance of the generally college newspaper reviews. That said, it's hard to tell how relevant the college reviewer's opinion is to gauging how college students will feel. So, while I grant that it's a data point that counts against TM (yay!), I don't think it counts for much (boo!).

As for your complaint that NYT, et al aren't doing real journalism, they have no reason to. There's no point in wasting _any_ time investigating his claims because he is, so far, a nonentity. If the movie, somehow, becomes famous, then the journalists _still_ won't investigate his claims--unless, that is, he uses his success to make obvious the fact that he is a loathsome, deluded, ego-maniacal excrescence.

- 9/28 guy

Anonymous said...

Also, TDG, way to build up the suspense.

- 9/28 guy

Anonymous said...

^^^ You left us hanging, TDG. I suspect you did this intentionally; like a great showman, you're drawing your story out to entertain and intrigue us. Good work!

NoNicknameGuy said...

"By "reputable" I mean from well-known newspapers and websites; not necessarily the NYT, but The Philadelphia Inquirer, Sacramento Bee, Slate, New York Magazine, etc."

It's true that the negative reviews do not fit your definition of reputable. You need to take into account though, that the positive reviews posted not only fail at being reputable, but aren't even objective (TMMB messageboard members)

The question that follows then, is why the double-standard when posting reviews? Either post reviews from only reputable sources, or post all the reviews.

NoNicknameGuy said...

@9:02 PM

Don't praise him for this! Fuck you TDG! Fuck you, you fat, gay, fatty, fat racist dude banger.

How dare you make us wait!

Anonymous said...

good point, nonicknameguy at 11:10. either post everything or don't post anything, tucker.

man, it's so unlike tucker to fudge the data to his own advantage. he's usually so fair and impartial and balanced.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I said above that the positive reviews posted on his moronic site shouldn't count for anything either.

Of course, we all know that this little disagreement is moot; what we should really do is guess what the rotten tomatoes score will be. I doubt he'll get above 30% or below 10%. I'm thinking between 13% and 17%, but if the main character is as unsympathetic as TDG says, then we could be looking at a <10%.

- 9/28 guy

Anonymous said...

What makes me laugh is the so-called bad reviews he chosen to put up are ones that aren't really panning the movie that much. They just contain a few "negative" statements like "His wild memoirs contain no remorse" and "grotesque humor and imagery". This is actually the kind of statements that he thinks attracts an audience. Where are the genuinely "this movie sucks" reviews that we have all seen and loved?

NoNicknameGuy said...

@1:48 AM

They're missing because Tucker is a pussy, which was my original point.

Anonymous said...

"As for your complaint that NYT, et al aren't doing real journalism, they have no reason to. There's no point in wasting _any_ time investigating his claims because he is, so far, a nonentity. If the movie, somehow, becomes famous, then the journalists _still_ won't investigate his claims--unless, that is, he uses his success to make obvious the fact that he is a loathsome, deluded, ego-maniacal excrescence."

If he is a nonentity, then a reputable newspaper should not print an article about a nonentity parroting the nonsense from the nonentity's mouth.

For example, the NYT reports that he rejected studio script offers to maintain creative control. A good reporter asks, who made you the offer so we can confirm it, or that part of the story does not get written. Or there is a specific mention in the article that Max refused to identify the studios and that no studio would confirm that they made him an offer. Instead, the NYT source becomes a source for another hack reporter that says, "Oh the Times confirmed that Max rejected multiple offers in order to keep creative control." Does it matter? yes, because if the paper of record is just a PR machine for a friendly publicist, then this is how the bs starts.

If you look at the story of Lou Pearlman (Backstreet Boys, N'Sync founder who defrauded everyone), he was a master at having a reporter print some nonsensical claim and then having other reporter's print it until it became established fact. This is how James Frey and multiple other "non-fiction" writers caught a buzz before someone finally decided to use some shoe leather and call them on thier BS.

And it is becoming even more important in the days of amalgamated news where the Associated Press is the main news source in most major dailys, and then you have Huff Posts or other blogs that just reprint the stories from the dailies.

Really, this is why there is no news today, i.e. services tellint he who, why, what and how. Only competing viewpoints commenting on various events and thier significance. Really, WWII today converage would be Nazi and Allied generals commenting on how they thought the battle was going for them. And then you could have retired generals or military specialists commenting on the general's commentary.

Anonymous said...

Looks like we need to take a trip over to Rotten Tomatoes...too many fanboys rating it 100s on the forum rating.

Anonymous said...

TDG, you might be about to reveal your identity to the RMMB. Though if they ban you, they'd be admitting that they read this blog.

Anonymous said...

You're right, if he's a nonentity, they shouldn't have written anything on him. I suppose what might be happening is that (a) they have no idea about the extent of his perfidy (b) they're given information about him from his publicist, and just write it down and (c) if they start really researching their stories, and putting the skoosh on people like TM, they stand to lose a lot of contacts for story-writing that serves as attractive filler for their readers. I'm not that sure about (c), though.

- 9/28 guy

Light said...

Hard to believe I started this blog over a year ago now.

And Cockly started his in January '06.

And now it all culminates with the release of IHTSBIH on September 25th 2009.

If the movie fails then that's pretty much Tucker done for in terms of ever becoming a true part of pop culture. He'll talk bullshit about how Hollywood made it fail, and return to peddling books. Assholes Finish First anyone? A guy gotta eat.

If the movie has legs, and college bro word-of-mouth carries it to $20 million then who knows what can happen.

It's going to be so interesting to watch what happens in the next two weeks. Pass the popcorn, Barry.

The Deconstruction Guy said...

My date with Bill Dawes: Part II

In this episode: We find that Bill Dawes gets flustered very easily.

So we left the show during the Q&A session. Everette remarked that this event was "the dollar store of premieres". He was correct. The theater was small, the screen had been splashed by soda earlier and never got cleaned and the lighting sucked. It was low rent by any standard, which was weird because Tucker lived in Chicago and still has a lot of friends in the area.

Anyway, Everette does not like Bill Dawes. Upon watching videos of various premieres he singled out Dawes as "the 40 year old cracker" who says all sort of racist shit and pretends it's "guys just being guys". He then looked him up on YouTube and saw some more of Bill's "act", the one where he calls himself a "wigger" over and over and pretends he's a homeboy by playing up racial stereotypes (albeit: badly). Everette was raised in the projects of Chicago and got himself out of there with a lot of hard work. He hates it when blacks play up their own stereotypes and hates it even more when whites do the same.

Needless to say, he hates Bill Dawes to the point of pathology. When we came into the theater he wasn't looking for Tucker or Nils, he was looking for Dawes. Eventually we saw Dawes at the door, but the movie started soon afterward and he decided to talk to him after the show.

So the show ends, we leave and get our "SWAG" bag. Now, I'm all about free shit, but I hate Tucker Max. So, after getting the SWAG I had to take a shit and wiped my ass with what was in the bag and left it in the theater sink. I'm sure the theater owner mentioned that to Tucker, and I'm sure Tucker, ever the penny pincher, instructed an intern to rinse off all the goodies and put it back into another SWAG bag. Fuck it if he can't take a joke.

Anyway, so we wait and wait and wait for the show to end, this gave me Ev and Troy some time to concoct some funny theories on the movie, one of which was that Tucker is actually a homosexual who is a performance artist, and he's so deep into his role that he forgot who he was, yet always remembers that he's gay when he can't get it up for a lady. This is why he drinks a lot and why he overcompensates so much. He's making too much money to give up the rouse, but the money is nothing compared to the void in his soul. He is forever stuck in a role of being a person he hates.

We've also come up with similar theories about Rush Limbaugh, but this one seemed very appropriate at the time.

More later.

-TDG

Anonymous said...

"Anyway, so we wait and wait and wait for the show to end, this gave me Ev and Troy some time to concoct some funny theories on the movie, one of which was that Tucker is actually a homosexual who is a performance artist, and he's so deep into his role that he forgot who he was, yet always remembers that he's gay when he can't get it up for a lady. This is why he drinks a lot and why he overcompensates so much. He's making too much money to give up the rouse, but the money is nothing compared to the void in his soul. He is forever stuck in a role of being a person he hates."

PMC posted the same theory on IMDB.

Anonymous said...

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/forums/viewtopic.htm?t=78576&sid=8d61642177bb95569070aa3c52ae4ca6
and

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/forums/viewtopic.htm?t=79494&sid=8d61642177bb95569070aa3c52ae4ca6

What's amazing is that the haterz are predicting better BO than the folks who basically play box office prediction games all day, most of whom are industry insiders.

Anonymous said...

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/15/tucker-max-fans-fight-rape-with-racism/

http://www.mediabistro.com/agencyspy/online/so_sad_tucker_max_cant_get_his_facts_into_advertising_131080.asp

http://www.bcheights.com/home/index.cfm?event=displayArticleComments&ustory_id=cfd542c7-a128-4e78-9c54-961757e425f8#88a18266-a548-4ba3-94cf-fd5c05397e14

Anonymous said...

http://www.mediabistro.com/agencyspy/online

/so_sad_tucker_max_cant_get_his_facts_into_advertising_131080.asp

Anonymous said...

TDG,

Did Tucker shit himself because I heard that part was like OMG funny? I mean, do you actually see someone shit themselves in a movie? If I ever see something like that I won't be able to keep myself from laughing because shitting yourself is just the funniest thing, particularly when you know the character is going to shit themselves. . . like so bad. . like shit themselves. I wonder if it would be epically as funny if it was a surprise and that you didn't know that he was going to shit himself. . . like it just happened unexpectedly. Kind of like in the Sixth Sense where you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead until the end. But it had to be really funny to see a mexican cleaning lady clean it up. I hope they showed that part because the only thing more OMG funny than seeing a person shit themselves when you know they really are going to shit themselves, is if a mexican cleaning lady cleans up the mess, that you knew the person who shit himself made. Oh, and if all the serving people were black. That would be almost as funny as a predictable shitting episode that you knew in advance was going to happen.

Please TDG, we need a more detailed description of the shitting scene so that when we see it, we will know it is the best shitting scene ever filmed by Bob Gosse.

Anonymous said...

"Tucker is actually a homosexual who is a performance artist"

He did say he likely fucked a man in Miami.

Anonymous said...

As usual, Tucker's doing a great job of keeping his word. Check out the Hater review section on the official site. Anything missing? Remember this (http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=21503):

"As we continue to build out the site for the movie, one of the things we will do is link every review or discussion of the movie we can find online. Good or bad, it doesn't matter what people say, as long as they talk about the movie, we will link it (and of course, I don't give a shit if the writer is a notable film critic or just some dude with a blogspot site, we will link you, everyone knows the critic is dead anyway)

Aside from giving people incentive to write about the movie or the movie blog, I want to make sure we have an independent record of what people say, because I want people responsible for their views after the results are in. There is no doubt in my mind that a lot of people are going to shit all over this movie long before they see it and long before it opens at the box office, and I want to make sure that they can't hide or claim another view once it comes out. This is going to be a polarizing movie for a LOT of reasons, and I want there to be a record of who is on what side. So here's what I want you people to do:

Every review, blog post, commentary, whatever opinion piece it is, please post a link here. I don't care if you wrote it, someone else wrote it, you found it by accident, whatever. This thread is going to act as the temporary page for posting things we find about the movie until the main site page is up, then we'll move it all there."

Just like Tucker said, he's posted every review -- good or bad -- about the movie. Maybe he meant to say "I'll screen every review and then pick the parts I think are important enough to re-post. And if you're a board member or friend write something up. The positive reviews aren't going to write themselves!"

Its funny, you'd think he'd want all those bad reviews up for his readers to see when the movie does $50-100Mil at the box office like he says it will. Then he can really let the bad review authors have it and prove to everyone what a visionary he is. Or maybe, just maybe, someone with some brains told him to get the chip off of his shoulder and quit coming up with stupid ideas like posting negative reviews about his movie on the official movie website just so he can "prove them wrong" at some later date.

Anonymous said...

Anyone up for a rousing game of "What Will Tucker Lie About Next?" Here's my guess -- Tucker's "trusted third party" NEVER releases Tucker's BO prediction like he claims in the following post:

"EDIT:
-BTW--I am not going to post my prediction, probably ever. I think what I'll do is write my prediction out, give it to a trusted third party, and ask them to release it at a certain date, probably well after the movie is out. This is for many reasons, most of them should be obvious. I will say this: My prediction is much higher than most peoples."

http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=23216

Reading through the posts at the other board I see someone gave me a moniker, so here goes...

- RSG

Anonymous said...

I never watch the tour videos because they are so horribly lame, but I watched Madison because you guys said to...wow, Dawes is a fucking tool. Someone should kick his ass.

And how many god damn jokes about cheese can one person make?

Anonymous said...

I'm actually friends with Mr. X and in the emails he and Tucker sent back and forth, the number Tucker predicted for BO was $100 million.

- 9/28 guy

The Deconstruction Guy said...

My date with Bill Dawes: Part III

In this episode: Bill Dawes shows his love of black people while he gets made fun of by them.

Okay, so now we're outside the theater. Everette and Troy are getting antsy. They want to meet one of the people who brought us this film. That's not completely true because Everette wanted to meet Bill Dawes because in his mind, Dawes is nothing more than a racist cracker who hides behind the "I'm just a comedian" persona. I personally don't find him to be any more racist than any other comedian out there, albeit he is FAR LESS FUNNY. Hes just not that interesting or cerebral, so he goes for the lowest common denomenator, which is saying some questionable shit for gasps from the audience. This is probably the reason why he's such a lowly regarded comic, but hey, it's his career, not mine.

But it's not really his standup act that got Ev pissed off, it was the bullshit Q&A sessions that he saw that set him off. From his eyes, he's wondering why Bill always seems to pick out a black person from the audience and then denegrates that person by playing up negative stereotypes towards blacks. Bill is the MC, and in Everette's opinion, that means he's the guy who is picking out who is going to speak.

It's one thing to do it once or twice, but Bill Dawes is making it part of his job description to pick out black people. I do realize that it's probably at the behest of Tucker, who is obviously a racist, but still, Bill could just say "no thanks". Tucker can't fire him because who is going to take over the MC of his show? TheBunny? So we have Bill Dawes, who probably thinks he's "Mr. Black People" (cuz he listens to rap and pretends to break dance in his show), going up to black people and making them the headliners of their minstrel show.

Everette hates him for this. This is his story...

-TDG

Anonymous said...

"As we continue to build out the site for the movie, one of the things we will do is link every review or discussion of the movie we can find online. Good or bad, it doesn't matter what people say, as long as they talk about the movie, we will link it (and of course, I don't give a shit if the writer is a notable film critic or just some dude with a blogspot site, we will link you, everyone knows the critic is dead anyway)"

I'm pretty sure this is a blogger site, and I'm pretty sure we discuss the movie here... so why aren't getting linked on the movie website? Strange...

The Deconstruction Guy said...

My Date with Bill Dawes: Part IV

In this episode: Dawes is a douchebag

So we're waiting for the show to end, as I have stated before, and finally people begin to walk out of the theater. We wait some more, and then Bill Dawes comes outside, telling everybody where to go for "the afterparty". So I go up to Bill Dawes and say:

TDG: Hey, aren't you Bill Dawes?
Bill: Why yes I am.
TDG: Loved you in that movie where you did that thing and people laughed.
Bill: (laughing) What movie?
TDG: Bill, like most of your movies, I forgot the title, but I think your role was called "Don't Blink Or You'll Miss Me".

Bill didn't quite hear me, or maybe he did hear me, because he sort of nodded and walked away. Anyway, this was the cue for Everette to do his thing. He approached him

Everette: Holy shit, Bill Motherfucking Dawes!!!
Bill: In the flesh.
Everette: I know. Can I get an autograph?
Bill: Yeah, sure dude. What do you want me to sign?
Everette: I was just fucking with you, I only get autographs from famous people.
Bill: Oh, um...
Everette: Say Bill, why didn't you come to us with the mic, you know how black people are around microphones, right?
Bill: .....
Everette: I would have asked you, Bill Dawes, why you find it a need to insult black people at your shows?
TDG: All 3 of them who show up.
Bill: Come on bro, I don't single out black people, I make fun of everybody.
Everette: Which brings me to my first question, why didn't you come to us with the mic? Do we fit your stereotype, or are you just afraid of black people in groups of two or more?

By this time, Dawes figured out something was up, and he tried to pretend that somebody was signaling him to leave us.

Bill: Gotta go guys, after party calls. You guys should come.
Troy: Yeah, you could buy us some malt liquor or other things you think black people like.
Everette: That's very white of you Bill, but you see it's taking every ounce of will power I have not to knock you out, add a couple of drinks into the mix and somebody might be missing teeth.

The silence was deafening.

Everette: You know what, that sounds like a great idea. I have nothing to do tomorrow, let's drink with our white friend Bill Dawes.
Troy: I want my motherfuckin' malt liquor served by a white chick. Hook it up Bill, yo!!!

Bill Dawes, for all of his comedic skills had no idea how to respond to this. To give you a visual reference of what he was up against, Everette is 6-2 200 pounds and Troy is 5-10 and about 230 of rock solid muscle. They are both teachers and dress the part, yet at this point the fear in Bill's eyes probably showed them like he just got put into a prison cell with them both. He was genuinely scared.

Bill: Well, gotta go...
TDG: Wait, where are you going to be at for the after party? You didn't tell us.
Bill: Uh, I dunno. Gotta run guys, thanks for com...
Everette: Motherfucker, I better get a call from you giving us directions, because if I find out from somebody else...

At this point, Bill Dawes, a "blue belt" in whateveritscalled kung fu went into a full jog away from us...

-TDG

Tomorrow, the aftermath.

Anonymous said...

I am having so much fun mentally picturing Bill Dawes running away from two huge angry black dudes getting in his face about how unfunny he is. Probably the funniest imagry to come out of any of these prem..er showings.

NoNicknameGuy said...

The red band trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS5YXd7Vw20&feature=sub

About as shit as you might expect.

Anonymous said...

Red band trailer....

Well, if that's not a pair of cement shoes on his career I don't know what is. I made it half way before I had to quit watching. I'm sure Tucker will blame Bob for spinning his golden script into straw, but let's face it.... there was no gold, all Bob had to work with was a manure spreader. He tried to salvage something out of it, but Tucker shot down Bob's suggestions every day on the set. "No hijinx!" "No puns!" "Nothing clever!" "You with the lighting, plug that thing in perpendicular so the electricity will flow through the bulb with less friction! Just fuckin' do it!"

Manure.

Anonymous said...

Part I

From an obscure trade rag, Gosse talks about filming the shit scene, The International Guild Independent Director’s Quarterly (January 2009):

“We caught up with Golden Lion nominated independent director Bob Gosse who directed Robin Tunney to a Volpi Cup in Venice for “Niagara, Niagara” on the set of “Tonite at Noon,” a new film he is producing starring Ethan Hawke, and asked him about the most challenging scene he has ever filmed. Gosse was very candid and admitted that it occurred on the soon to be released Darko Porduction “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.”

According to Gosse, “most independent films rely upon a close collaboration between writer and the director, or in many cases, you are directing a film that you help write. For example, in “Julie Johnson,” Wendy Hammond and I had written the movie so if we encountered difficulties shooting a scene, we could revise the script, or change the scene without affecting anyone else’s artistic vision. But, for an indie where the writer wants to retain control over the final product, shooting even the simplest scene can be a problem.”

Gosse explained that “Beer in Hell” contemplated a scene where the lead character “shit his pants.’ “When I read the script, it became obvious that the scene did not connect to the rest of the story and just seemed like a Farrelly Brothers skit dropped at the end. I realized that if we filmed it as written, it would really seem like a simple sight gag, and both the writer and myself really wanted the movie to move away from standard teen comedy props. So I proposed that we incorporate the whole theme of the movie and make the “shit scene” into a metaphor. The lead character is a self-professed asshole, so my idea was that we would depart from the whole explosive diarrhea concept that worked in Dumb and Dumber but seemed like a cliché in this film, and instead, create a seen where the lead would be so constipated that he would literally shit out his asshole. This also integrated an earlier part of the story involving the characters ingesting a disgusting fast food product so that the constipation would really be part of a story that would have otherwise orphaned the fast food scene as well. “

Anonymous said...

Part II

Gosse went further and stated that after the shit scene, the lead was supposed to realize that he’d been acting like an asshole, and their was a whole redemption speech afterwards so that if he actually shit out his asshole, or prolapsed his rectum, and then went to the hospital to correct it, it would be a metaphor that the lead actually lost “his asshole.” “ I thought it was also important that the audience see the lead in pain, which would make him more human, and develop some audience sympathy for him, which was lacking. Well, the Darko folks loved the concept, and showing the actual constipation and movement of a severe fecal impaction actually can be shot as almost a birth experience, which we hoped could also be a metaphor for this characters “rebirth.” However, the writer strongly protested that it would destroy the story for the audience members who had expectations based upon his book.

Gosse told us that they actually shot two versions of the “shit scene” over the objections of the writer. “We had to ban him from the set for a week.” In the alternative scene, the lead prolapses his rectum in a hotel bathroom the night before a wedding due to a fecal impaction and gets treated at the hospital and discharged with a temporary colostomy bag. So, the lead actually shows up at the wedding the next day with his “shit in a bag” and incorporates it into his redemption speech where he basically explains that he became less of an asshole by losing his asshole. And, Darko actually had a pretty sharp comedy writer who re-wrote the post speech scene among the lead, the groom, and a friend. In this version, the lead was describing how he “lost his asshole” shitting; and a Christian attendee corrects him by saying: “I believe rectum is the proper term.” So, there is a black serving guy right near by and he says in a deep southern accident: “Reck-tum, saar, it darn near kilt him.” And then the three friends laugh. I thought it was a great way to end the movie.

Anonymous said...

Part III
Well, again, the writer had a very specific vision and insisted that we shoot it in kind of Farrelly brothers fashion with the standard diarrhea scene. It came out ok, but I had a hard time shooting it after I had already seen what I felt was the the better “rectum” scene. It was very difficult to really create something that was different from the audience’s expectation, and I thought that the Farrelly’s version would be difficult to get out of the audience’s mind.

When Gosse was asked whether he would direct in a project where he did not also have some input into writing, he said: ”it’s tough on an indie, you have a low budget so you can’t have 4 or 5 competing visions going on, it definitely affects the quality of the scenes.”

Gosse refused to give any details about his new production except to say that it was refreshing to work with established professionals that had extensive experience in the indie business. “Things are tough for the Indie profession right now. We need to get it right first and quickly with the new budgets. It’s tough.”

Anonymous said...

I can't believe they used that "King of England" joke. I think I first saw that in a blog's comment section back in 2006.

Honestly, does Tucker look like anything more but the most obnoxious kid at your school in that trailer?

Anonymous said...

Wow, they went back and edited the Madison video to make Dawes look like less of a dumbass. Hahaha, they're reading this blog now.

Anonymous said...

Did Everette and Troy get pictures with TM as well TDG?

That was pretty good. Did Dawes have on his patented Message T? Trying to be 18 years old still?

Anonymous said...

Karma is karma. As Tucker has used intimidation tactics, so they will be used against him and his associates. For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. I can't blame the reaction, it's only doing what the universe has designed it to do.

If Tucker walked down the street randomly punching people in the head, eventually someone is going to punch him back. Would that be so unexpected? The verbal mockery that goes on here is no different. Tucker's made his living off his verbal disrespect of others, and it's come back to him a dozen times over through this blog and the IMDB site.

Tucker has chosen the method and manner that others will treat him (as has Dawes). TDG is just the messenger that karma is being fulfilled.

The Deconstruction Guy said...

TDG Deconstructs his Deconstructions:

In this episode: Aw fuck, this is confusing as fuck.


"i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me."

Where did we act "confrontational" and/or "intimidating"? Confrontational would have been to grab the mic out of Bill's hands and call Tucker Max out to a fight in front of his 250 or so fans.

".. and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much."

That was the point. Bill Dawes says black people act a certain way, so we have 2 guys who are going to take those stereotypes to the hilt, despite the fact that they're both school teachers.

Nobody threatened anybody, it was a joke. I found it hysterical because Bill wasn't sure they were joking. If there were punches to be thrown then I'm pretty positive it wouldn't be announced.

"would it have been hard to just use logic, reason, and wit to destroy dawes?"

Oh yeah, that would have totally worked with Bill Dawes, what was I thinking?

"one of the reasons i don't like tucker max is because he's a bully, and honestly your friends everette and troy seem just as worthless. or at least their methods of dealing with people socially are."

Dude, obviously you didn't understand it. This is not how they deal with people in social situations. This is how they deal with douchebags. Racists usually are scared of the people they decry, so why not use that fear against them?

2nd: We were 3 guys at a movie screening of a douchebag. We were completely outnumbered both inside and out. By definition we could not have been "bullys". Instead of doing it behind a message board post, we went and said it to his face. Confrontational? Sure. Bullying? Absolutely not.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Agreed

This is like when Tucker brought his two army buddies to that party and starting making fun of people because he knew he had backup."

I'm sorry, where did we pick on a weaker group of kids like Tucker did? Where did we make fun of anybody who wasn't completely deserving? Everette asked him questions to see if he could reinforce his brand of racist comedy, and he didn't ever raise his voice to do it.

"It's cowardly."

I think you need to look up the word "coward", because I doubt it will be anything resembling a group of 3 guys walking into a movie premiere filled with fanatics and making fun of one of the guys in charge TO HIS FACE.

"You talk a mean game online, but you can't back it up in real life without bodyguards. I'm disappointed TDG"

Yep, I sure do talk a mean game online, I have said repeatedly that I wanted to punch Tucker in the face, yet I did not. Why? Because I have something called RESPONSIBILITIES. I have a job that I go to every single day and would be hard pressed to explain to my bosses why I got arrested on an assault charge the night before teaching grade school children how to speak without an impediment. Sorry, call me what you want, but that's the reality of the situation. I'm not in college anymore and as much as Tucker deserves a fist to the face, it most likely won't be mine.

However, I did not go there with "bodyguards" to assault Tucker. I went to see a movie so I can give an honest assessment instead of just speculating. I went there with people I work(ed) with because those are my friends, not people to protect me. The fact that they thought what they saw was "racist" was only part of the equation, albeit the part that you're reading about.

Get a dictionary.

-TDG

Anonymous said...

TDG,

I thought the story was focking funny as hell. Keep up the good work mate.

The British Guy

Anonymous said...

No doubt TDG

"cowardly" would be something like picking out individual people and putting them in a spot where they can't fight back. Perhaps like Tucker's "Q&A" sessions where he can make fun of people with no chance of them to hit back.

This was totally ninja TDG, and it's why I read and support your art.

Oh shit, a baby just died of AIDS.

Anonymous said...

TDG, I thought what you did was completely appropriate and awesome. Props to you, man- looking forward to the epilogue.

Anonymous said...

"I am a great book writer, great screenplay writer, and great filmmaker, and I will put my aesthetic in those areas up against anyone." -Tucker Max

That's right, Tucker will put his book-writing ability up against James Joyce and George Orwell.

Anonymous said...

Lookin' forward to the conclusion TDG, Dawes needs taking down a peg or two.

That 'red band' trailer is a fucking abortion by they way; just imagine the green band with a few swear words dubbed over it.

Anonymous said...

i posted the original comment on TDG's tactics which i referred to as bullying. i can see it didn't take long for a few to assume i'm richard kelly (hey mccoy), or involved with the ihtsbih crew. well, i'm not, but you're open to your delusions i guess.

in any case, i'm glad TDG was able to clarify his "date with bill dawes." i think the way you wrote it gave out a misconception on how it went down.

Anonymous said...

KTATguy, YHBHFY

9/10/2009 3:54 PM

Ah well I know, but thats because I'm the saddest sad sack. Which has been fully established previously. All the rest of you, on the other hand, like everyone else on the internet, you went to an Ivy League school. You make tons of cash, drive an awesome car, and you have a hot girlfriend. Oh and you are a brutal fighter who can whoop anyones ass. I'm just trying to get you back to all that greatness because its disturbing that you, of all people, are still here after YEARS.

TAT

KTAT

Some of you have been here for YEARS.

SOYHBHFY

Anonymous said...

eh, i just want to point out:


"Where did we act "confrontational" and/or "intimidating"? Confrontational would have been to grab the mic out of Bill's hands and call Tucker Max out to a fight in front of his 250 or so fans."

"Instead of doing it behind a message board post, we went and said it to his face. Confrontational? Sure. Bullying? Absolutely not."

NoNicknameGuy said...

Some more Hater reviews have been posted and...Wow. The quotes are so far removed from the context, that they might as well be reviews of different movies.

Anonymous said...

mccoy has turned the old blog into his own personal soapbox. Very sad, really.

Anonymous said...

Dude, TDG, your the man

I cant even put into words how much I love your posts up here.

Whoever said "that was ninja" is totally right. hahahaha

Ninja destructionist, TDG

That bullying point about how tucker bullies his fans is so true.

Anonymous said...

I really have no problem with the way TDG handled the situation. He turned the tables on Dawes, that's about it. It's funny how Dawes reacted because when the glitz of his minstel show (whoever started calling the premieres a minstel show should get props), Dawes is just another douchebag.

Anonymous said...

I'm pregnant, TDG

Anonymous said...

Can't believe I'm defending Tucker, but if Bob Gosse actually thought his ending with the prolapsed asshole is better, he is a fucking retard.

But Tucker getting banned from the set is priceless.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that was Bob Gosse or a real interview.

If it wasn't real, whomever wrote it is a genius.

Anonymous said...

"I am a great book writer, great screenplay writer, and great filmmaker, and I will put my aesthetic in those areas up against anyone." -Tucker Max

Well... I guess Tucker HAS to say that, since nobody else is.

Anonymous said...

"DragonOfSnacks" deserves to be drawn and quartered for comparing the movie to Arrested Development.

Anonymous said...

Why is there no record of Tucker Max actually getting his JD from Duke?

He didn't take/pass the bar and it looks like he didn't graduate either.

Don't believe me, I'm a Duke law student and looked him up on the Duke Alumni Directory. To be part of this directory you need to have GRADUATED.

His name is not on the directory list. Why? If he GRADUATED he would be on this list.

http://www.law.duke.edu/apps/alumnidir2/searchform

The Deconstruction Guy said...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Oh. Snap.

Somebody please call them to verify. It would be hysterical if this is true and he got caught in another lie (this one HUGE).

Anonymous said...

They are now putting up links to pre-purchase opening weekend tickets because they won't expand without high PTA.

Anonymous said...

"Why is there no record of Tucker Max actually getting his JD from Duke?

He didn't take/pass the bar and it looks like he didn't graduate either.

Don't believe me, I'm a Duke law student and looked him up on the Duke Alumni Directory. To be part of this directory you need to have GRADUATED.

His name is not on the directory list. Why? If he GRADUATED he would be on this list.

http://www.law.duke.edu/apps/alumnidir2/searchform"



Duke Grad, do the following:

Go to the listing, take a snapshot with print screen, and post the jpg to a link.

This would completely ruin Tucker.

Anonymous said...

He definitely graduated:

https://www.law.duke.edu/alumni/reunion/2006/2001list.html

Anonymous said...

Yeah, come on guys... let's not get carried away. Tucker's not oblivious enough to loudly and repeatedly claim that he graduated from a school he didn't actually graduate from. Even as marginal a 'celebrity' as he is, he would have been called out long, long ago if he was lying about this.

Anonymous said...

No he didn't graduate.

The list you posted was a fucking reunion list. You don't need to graduate to get a reunion invite.

He didn't graduate, hilarity ensues.

Anonymous said...

^^^ I just can't see it, dude. I mean, doesn't it seem like SOMEONE would have called Tucker out by now if he was lying about getting a JD from Duke? I hate the guy, and I think he's a shithead, but I just can't see him going along for this long without being 'outed' about lying by now. I mean, every other sentence out of his mouth is 'I want to U of C and Duke', and as stupid as he is, I don't think he'd be doing that if he knew it was a lie. Some lies, a guy can kind of get away with, but that one would be pretty easy to falsify, and with all the enemies Tucker's made over the years, it seems like someone would have blown the whistle by now, if there was a whistle to be blown.

Anonymous said...

"Can't believe I'm defending Tucker, but if Bob Gosse actually thought his ending with the prolapsed asshole is better, he is a fucking retard.

But Tucker getting banned from the set is priceless."

I don't know. The consipation--prolapsed rectum--would have created some connection between the fast food scene and the shit scene; and given some real basis for Tucker to have a new look on life. You have to admit that you'd be more sympathetic of a guy with a prolapsed rectum (a scary medical condition --even if its temporary) than someone who paid a mexican cleaning lady to clean up his crap. And the old vaudville/classic catholic communion breakfast joke (rectum, it darn neer kild him" would have actually fit in pretty well there.

But are we really arguing about who has a better taste for comedy: Tucker or Bob Gosse? I can't believe that Bob Gosse would talk such crap about a pre-release unless he really felt that the journal is so closely distributed that it wouldn't get out. Funny either way.

Anonymous said...

"^^^ I just can't see it, dude. I mean, doesn't it seem like SOMEONE would have called Tucker out by now if he was lying about getting a JD from Duke?"

For years and years and even in his book he claimed to have a BS in Economics from UoC, that's not true.

He confirmed this himself, that he dropped out of economics cause he was scared of failing. It's on his website, I have it favorited and screenshot at home.

Anonymous said...

"I don't think that was Bob Gosse or a real interview. "

I called the Guild and they say they don't have an on-line version of their newsletter. So I asked them to fax a copy, but they said: "we already told the other people who called that we only distribute this to guild members, we aren't going to release this any more."

Anonymous said...

So I just wanna say that if you're going to make a movie about poop jokes, ending it with "rectum saar, it nearly kilt im" is much much much funnier than anything Tucker ever wrote. And the ending as described actually DOES provide some character growth. and creates an actual point to the movie.

I'm not surprised Tucker vetoed it. Silly ninny.

Anonymous said...

You're only on the Duke alumni listing if you opt to do so geninus-idiots.

It's called privacy protection laws and they are quite specific for education and information regarding student history.

I went to po-dunk stupid state school and even I know this much... dumbasses.

-hater who hates haterz now that tucker fails too hard to hate

Anonymous said...

gd those fuckers on the board suck at photoshop

also, tucker's argument that he loves and respects women and doesn't promote a rape culture sure is substantiated by the existence of a thread full of racist, sexist, anti-women, hate and vitriolic bullshit

Anonymous said...

"'I want to U of C and Duke', and as stupid as he is, I don't think he'd be doing that if he knew it was a lie."

As I said...he's falsely claimed to have an economics degree forever, which he doesn't. He'd lie about anything.

Anonymous said...

What a shit head, his latest post takes the cake. Seriously? Dropping Dox on someone and using a targeted ad campagin to mock the editor of Gawker? Who in the fuck is in control of this project, a 12year old script kiddy?

Anonymous said...

I can't believe how unhinged mccoy is. He's constantly conversing with himself on the old board.

LA Times article: http://tinyurl.com/mhogp7

Usual bullshit, I'll let someone else take it apart. I love the idea that he passed on major distributors when, just weeks earlier, he said they were going to pick a major because it's easier.

Anonymous said...

"What a shit head, his latest post takes the cake. Seriously? Dropping Dox on someone and using a targeted ad campagin to mock the editor of Gawker? Who in the fuck is in control of this project, a 12year old script kiddy?'

More evidence that it is a vanity project. Only in the world of d-list celebrities does Gawker matter. Whose idea was it to promote a d-list movie by referencing an f-list celebrity like the editor of gawker? I'm waiting for James Cameron to promote his next movie by referencing some obscure on-line magazine that gave a bad Titanic review.

Anonymous said...

"but Max says he and Parker also issued orders to "Beer in Hell's" director, Bob Gosse ("Niagara, Niagara"), about how to block scenes, run rehearsals and even directed the actors' line readings"

Is this why he got THROWN OFF THE SET?

Interesting article, shout outs to Tucker Max is a Douchebag and IMDb.

Although, we really aren't creating as much controversy as the writer seems to imply. Protests have been rather smallish, just like his audiences.

Anonymous said...

"Whose idea was it to promote a d-list movie by referencing an f-list celebrity like the editor of gawker?"

However, Gawker is far more popular than his site. So of course he'd like to get some hits off of referencing them.

Anonymous said...

If they're opening on 130 screens, they're going to have to average almost $7700 per screen to top 1 million. Higher than every movie last weekend except that Tyler Perry one. (I get that they're probably not looking at total weekend gross.)

Anonymous said...

This is high comedy on a whole other level:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/user/741786/reviews/view.php?type=2&id=10011628

We should bombard the RT board with negative reviews and 0 ratings. This guy is showing us how it's done. Look at his responses to "haterz", just as funny.

Stay on point, don't answer questions and act like YOU'VE NEVER MET TUCKER MAX BEFORE!!!

Anonymous said...

"Interesting article, shout outs to Tucker Max is a Douchebag and IMDb.

Although, we really aren't creating as much controversy as the writer seems to imply. Protests have been rather smallish, just like his audiences."

It still pisses me off that reputable reporters don't fact check his 1M book sale or the alleged "choice" to go freestyle as if some studio offered him a deal and he said no. If this reporter has spent 5 minutes checking with a literary agent to check his bookscan numbers, or asked him to confirm the studios he turned down followed by phone calls, then he would have realized that Max is BS.

Anonymous said...

Now I know why Mccoymountain is spamming the Doucebag blog... It's linked in the LA Times article.

Anonymous said...

Whomever wrote this on RT, major props.



Votes
+1

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009)
Genre:Comedies10%
Posted on 9/17/09 at 11:15 AM
At one time, I was a huge fan of Tucker's and even went to a wedding with him. But this movie is really terrible. The characters are one dimensional. The dialogue is stupid. It is totally unrealistic. . . not like The Hangover, which is very realistic. The movie is full of hijinx.

Anonymous said...

"At one time, I was a huge fan of Tucker's and even went to a wedding with him."

Did you notice the reviewer's name is Katie J?

HAHAHAHAA. I wonder what turned Katie J off to Tucker after the wedding?

Anonymous said...

"We should bombard the RT board with negative reviews and 0 ratings. This guy is showing us how it's done. Look at his responses to "haterz", just as funny."

Hey, I'm doing my part. I signed up and gave it a 0. Some other people need to get in gear. The official reviews will start some time next week, and they will not be good.

Anonymous said...

eurgh, mccoy is off his meds again, and bunny too apparently

Anonymous said...

i love how the mainstream media is starting to call tucker a douchebag. you know it's because of this blog. it must kill tucker. p.s. i did some research and in a recent interview with tucker, he names some of the influential bloggers/writers in his life http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-mendelson/everything-i-learned-abou_b_286248.html

so what did i do, as a high quality and loyal doucebag? i looked at the wikipedia history of all those authors, and i looked at tucker's history, and i found a commonality: Svernon19. clearly that is Tucker or ryan holiday. what are the odds that svernon19 would have edited seth godin, tucker max (hundreds of times),Seth roberts, and other authors tucker mentioned just today in an interview. he also edited mark ebner, an author and rudius blogger.

Svernon19=tucker max or ryan holiday = douchebag.

Anonymous said...

Dammit, mccoy just wont stop.

I hope they serve FAIL in hell said...

Maybe Bunny is McCoy. That would explain a lot.

Anyhow, thanks for the new blog

Anonymous said...

his might be the funniest thing ever: Read the comments section below the review:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/user/741786/reviews/view.php?type=2&id=1213825

Anonymous said...

Yeah,

Tucker is not listed under Duke Law Alumni. Double checked it and he's not listed as alumni on their own database.

-TODG The other Duke Guy

Anonymous said...

I could not stand another post by either TATguy or mccoymountain. TAT is an attention whore; his biggest problem we when folks talked about Tucker rather than himself. Mccoymountain needs help, as it's just a matter of time before his delusions take him over the edge.

Anonymous said...

Here's something interesting... has anyone noticed that Tucker's controversies are getting less and less attention? The press might have a write-up, but it seems like there's less commentary by haterz and fanboys. It seems like both groups have resigned to fate: Beer in Hell is a failure, and nothing can be done to either promote it or further denigrate it.

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max is serious business.

Anonymous said...

From his discussion board:

"Nils and I are more responsible for the editing of this movie than anyone else. The final cut is our cut. "

Seriously? Two douches with zero experience are allowed to edit a movie? What does the actual editor of the movie think aoubt this comment?

NoNicknameGuy said...

http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/my-response-to-the-cta-ads-being-pulled/

This is my new favourite post by Tucker. It's hilarious.

"We have now screened this movie for 26 audiences, and not one rational person has come out of the movie thinking that it is degrading to women or advocates anything other than fun and humor."

This line is just so brilliantly stupid that it should win an award. Note that Tucker doesn't say that no person has come out of the movie thinking this, but that no "rational" person has done so.

See what he has done there? The moment you disagree, you're considered irrational. Tucker is saying: "Everyone that agrees with me thinks I'm right about this." Tucker max: Retarded.

"In response to the loss of audiences in Chicago, Rudius Media and Darko Entertainment, the two companies behind the film, are announcing that they are doubling their internet advertising budget and expanding print and television ads to other more open minded cities."

Unfortunately, doubling the internet advertising budget means going from $50 to $100 dollars.

"Max was adamant that he not only doesn’t hate women, he loves them, “That’s the question I have constantly asked that the protestors have never addressed, because they can’t: ‘If my art is misogynist and promotes violence against women, then why are half my fans women?’ They don’t answer the question because they can’t."

Then I'll address your question. Firstly, where do these figures come from? Who says half of your fans are women (other than you)?

Secondly, the fact that women are fans of your work doesn't mean shit. Check out this quote, "His trials were infamous and devoured by the media. Bundy was treated like a rock star, where court rooms were filled with adoring fans (all women, oddly enough)."

That's right. Women LOVED Ted Bundy, a fucking serial killer. Therefore, that women "love" you or your writing doesn't mean anything.

"Women are not stupid."

And yet your entire career is based on your belief that most women are stupid (stupid enough to sleep with you, at least).

"They would not support me if I hated them, and the fact that they come out in the hundreds of thousands to buy my book and go to my movie is proof that I not only love women, but my art is in fact pro-woman."

See above. Ted Bundy had a number of female fans. Also, how is your "art" (those poor babies) pro-woman? What the hell? Your book about shit, drinking and sex supports women? Do you mean this literally? Like once people have finished it, they want to go out and make women?

"The facts are on my side because I am right."

One of the most stupid things Tucker has ever said.

Anonymous said...

It's a revolution, NNG. You just don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Add T0m88 to the list of incredibly stupid RMMB posters. Completely misses the boat on that thread.

Anonymous said...

http://www.thedailypage.com/daily/article.php?article=26949

Another scathing review from madison

Anonymous said...

"This line is just so brilliantly stupid that it should win an award. Note that Tucker doesn't say that no person has come out of the movie thinking this, but that no 'rational' person has done so.

"See what he has done there? The moment you disagree, you're considered irrational. Tucker is saying: 'Everyone that agrees with me thinks I'm right about this.' Tucker max: Retarded."

That's known as the "No True Scotsman" fallacy. Someone says, "All Scotsman like X", to which the response is, "what about Angus? He doesn't like X, and he's a Scotsman." To which the retort is, "Ah, but Angus isn't a _true_ Scotsman."

- 9/28 guy

Anonymous said...

GOD, tucker's an idiot. every time anyone says or does anything he doesn't like, he writes some self-righteous, 'this shall not stand!!!' bullshit self-fellating tripe. tucker, did it ever occur to you that the reason people want your ads off their busses, watn you to just shut up and go away, is because you're a loudmouthed, nasty, self-centered bully who thinks that offending people = edgy and revolutionary, and people just want you to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AWAY?!

Anonymous said...

115 Screens. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Not even the 450.

Remember Tucker's statement in April that it would be a release on thousands of screens across America indistinguishable from any major release.

http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/im-frustrated-too/

Anonymous said...

@1:31: What, you calling Tucker a liar? Huh? Huh? Is that it? You think Tucker's not being straight with you? You trying to say something here? Huh? You like twisting his words to make the man seem dishonest? YOU THINK HE OWES YOU ANYTHING? STFU DUMBASS! TUCKER'S A GREAT MAN WHO DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING AND

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure one of the theaters is right near Times Square. Don't think that's what a bunch of tourists will be doing on vacation.

Anonymous said...

I call myself 9/28 guy because that's the day I think the rationalizations will start pouring in and TM will get interesting again.

- 9/28 guy

Anonymous said...

Times Square? That's high rent district, which is out of bounds for this cinematic abortion. The bozos at Freestyle wouldn't have access to Times Square.

For proof, go to fandango.com, and type in the zip code for Times Square (10036).

I hope they serve FAIL in hell said...

A while back, tugger said the hangover was good for his film, because it was like watching someone else fight your opponent before you do.

I'm not sure which rule of power that is, but he's right. Kind of. But he got the details wrong. The fight he should be watching isn't R-rated-dude-comedy vs public but low-budget-straight-to-dvd-film vs freestyle.

The collector (which had an advertising budget and was released on 1325 screens) had a $3.5 million opening weekend.

Tugger's abortion is apparently opening on 115 screens (if that). I doubt the CTA thing will go viral, so I'll predict opening weekend is $250-300,000. It will be gone within 3 weeks, so total gross will be under $800,000.

If tugger had a revolutionary marketing plan, it would be to have the CTA (or someone else) ban his ads. Think James Joyce and Ulysses. I suspect this was a pure accident, though (the banned ads are fairly lame). Either way, IHTSBIH is not Ulysses and Tugger isn't James Joyce.

Anonymous said...

He thinks he's a better writer, however. At least his "aesthetic" is better.

Anonymous said...

Good god...all of tucker's bad karma and awful mojo has caught up to him all at once in some kind of cosmic bitchslap. Faster than you can say "get your pussies ready," he's going to get his comeuppance for his loathsome behavior in a very public and humiliating fashion. The really sad thing about it is that he's the one who brought it all on himself. He's finally run out of people to blame. What will he do?

Anonymous said...

"Nils and I are more responsible for the editing of this movie than anyone else. The final cut is our cut. "

Seriously? Two douches with zero experience are allowed to edit a movie? What does the actual editor of the movie think aoubt this comment?

How was Tucker responsible for the editing since he told people he didn't go to the edit because he had knee surgery?

I'd love to ask him, how do you pick up the pace of the overall action of the film with only 2 takes? Because any good film editor will easily tell you the answer in one word.

Tucker, yet again taking credit for stuff he didn't do.

Just wait until this douchebag blames everything on Bob Gosse. It's fucking coming.

Anonymous said...

2nd: Did Tucker really get "final cut" status on this film? If he did, and this film fails, then Darko investors should sue the producers because they obviously had a competency gap of what they claimed. What kind of fucking morons give two idiots final cut on a movie without having any film experience whatsoever?

Sean McKitrick has to be one of the worst producers in the history of making movies.

Anonymous said...

Or the guy who really did cut the movie didn't want his name on it.

Anonymous said...

The whole brouhaha over the buses just shows once again how desperate Tucker is to promote this monstrosity that now has about a 98% chance at driving the final nails in the career coffin. Tucker is begging and pleading for controversy but he is mostly just being ignored and enduring the silent protests of a million possible fans not buying tickets and failing to acknowledge his existence.

I wonder how Sean McKittrick (who also produced the brilliant World's Greatest Dad, for those who say he is an idiot), Bob Gosse and all the others who worked hard on this movie feel about Tucker taking all of the credit for a myriad of stuff that he knows nothing about and added nothing of value toward.

I said it many times before and I'll say it again...you can't treat others this poorly in Hollywood before you achieve success. The small accomplishments Tucker has accumulated thus far won't open any more doors for him because he so violently slammed so many prior doors shut. What works for j-lo won't work for you, Otto...too bad you are not self-aware enough to realize it. Low rent Troy Duffy.

- FDG

Anonymous said...

"I wonder how Sean McKittrick (who also produced the brilliant World's Greatest Dad, for those who say he is an idiot) Bob Gosse and all the others who worked hard on this movie feel about Tucker taking all of the credit for a myriad of stuff that he knows nothing about and added nothing of value toward.

World's Greatest Dad was a very good film, but it lost money. In fact, has McKittrick produced anything that's made money? Donnie Darko only made money on DVD, but then he lost a ton on Southland Tales (which did poorly on DVD and PPV) Are investors going to throw money his way again if this movie makes 250K the first week?

I think if I were Sean, Bob and anybody else who really made the film, I'd let Tucker take all the credit on the movie because in reality it is going to take a ton of heat off of them.

Tucker reminds me of Judge Smails from Caddyshack when he wore the Captain's clothing and made a big show of launching a substandard boat. Nobody thought for a moment that Smails was a captain and then his boat was shown to be unseaworthy and sunk to the bottom.

I think that's a great metaphor for Tucker claiming to do it all as a filmmaker.

I'm just wondering if Darko is going to purchase 100 tickets at the 115 theaters it's opening at. That would obviously add about 1K per theater to the BO. Of course this would be fraud, and the producers could and should be sued for SEC violations, but hey, Tucker is the captain of The Flying Wop and he has a law degree. So good luck with that idea.

Anonymous said...

Tucker is not even interesting anymore. He hasn't developed any new schtick in years.

My prediction is the final post on his blog will read:

Just got done with the tour. After all of that work I need a vacation so I won't be posting for at least three months.

And he'll never post again and fade into obscurity. He'll never answer questions as to why his movie tanked.

The only interesting thing will be to find out if Nils is such a fanboy as to sink his future with the failure, or throw him under the bus and attempt to fail on his own.

Anonymous said...

Tucker's future success depends upon him learning humility and writing a book entitled 'How to Avoid becoming an Asshole (things handed to me, that I pissed upon)' which could be placed as self-help in all frat houses.

Anonymous said...

"The facts are on my side because I am right."

Oh man, you are right. This has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

Facts are facts. Whether right or wrong they still are. They are devoid of sides.

Anonymous said...

No idea if these are accurate, but:

http://tinyurl.com/lf58p5

Anonymous said...

After reading all these trolls with their blinders on hoping to see the film fail I thought I'd run some quick numbers past you.

115 theaters x 18 screenings each theater (fri, sat, sun) x 400 seats per theater x $10 each ticket = $8,280,000

That's an easy formula for an 8 MILLION opening weekend based on 115 THEATERS!

Save your snakry comments and do the math yourselves. And for those of you who went to community colleges and state schools I'll help you out. Hit the 'start' menu down left, click on 'all programs' and then 'accessories', now scroll to the calculator.

Will you guys be here apologizing the Monday after the first premiere? Hell no. That's not in a haterz character.

Anonymous said...

^^^ hahahahahahahaha

You are a professional dumbass. Bravo.

Do yourself a favour and work out the per screen average required to pull off that sort of opening weekend, then compare that to the best per screen averages achieved by movies in limited release.

Let's put that in perspective:

In its fifth week of release, Slumdog Millionaire expanded to 169 theatres. It made $8,048,764 with a per screen average of $12,873. So, in your opinion, IHTSBIH (with a deficit of fifty four theaters compared to Slumdog) is going to gross that same $8million figure? The same as a movie that went on to win best picture and gross $140 million domestically? Are you really that stupid?

Go and post that on the TMMB too, because even your hero will call you a dumbass for saying that.

Anonymous said...

"After reading all these trolls with their blinders on hoping to see the film fail I thought I'd run some quick numbers past you.

115 theaters x 18 screenings each theater (fri, sat, sun) x 400 seats per theater x $10 each ticket = $8,280,000

That's an easy formula for an 8 MILLION opening weekend based on 115 THEATERS!

Save your snakry comments and do the math yourselves. And for those of you who went to community colleges and state schools I'll help you out. Hit the 'start' menu down left, click on 'all programs' and then 'accessories', now scroll to the calculator.

Will you guys be here apologizing the Monday after the first premiere? Hell no. That's not in a haterz character."

You're a fucking idiot. First of all, I don't know why you fanboys keep insisting on this '$10 a ticket' bullshit. Assuming 18 shows, at least 3 of them are going to be matinee prices, which are like 6 bucks here in Dallas. Second, a movie ticket here in the evening is 8 bucks, not 10. Maybe tickets are $10 in some places, but the aggregate price for all showtimes in all cites is going to be closer to, like, 7 bucks. Second, Tucker can't even sell out his own bus tour- you really think all 118 (or whatever) of those theaters are going to sell out? You're retarded.

Tucker's predictions have been wrong every step of the way, and the guy 'Biscuits' that posted on his site a while back is looking more and more like a prophet. If you want to base your expectations on what he says, that's fine, but it's not based on the evidence.

Anonymous said...

It's fun rereading that Script Reader blog from last year. Just do a ctrl+f for "Marc"- he's basically TDG except a Hollywood insider.

http://tinyurl.com/58ubaq

(I would sign off as "TinyURl Guy" but "TUG" sounds too much like "Tuck.")

Anonymous said...

"After reading all these trolls with their blinders on hoping to see the film fail I thought I'd run some quick numbers past you.

115 theaters x 18 screenings each theater (fri, sat, sun) x 400 seats per theater x $10 each ticket = $8,280,000

That's an easy formula for an 8 MILLION opening weekend based on 115 THEATERS!

Save your snakry comments and do the math yourselves. And for those of you who went to community colleges and state schools I'll help you out. Hit the 'start' menu down left, click on 'all programs' and then 'accessories', now scroll to the calculator.

Will you guys be here apologizing the Monday after the first premiere? Hell no. That's not in a haterz character."

Actually I wrote this, and I was being facetious while imitating a Tucker fan. Guess I did a good job, because people took it seriosly.

Sorry, it was satire, not gospel.

Anonymous said...

The Deconstruction Guy said...
Tucker LOVES the ladies. Here are some examples from his own blog:

A random and annoying girl yells out, wants to tell story:
Bill: Let’s give her a chance.
[She starts rambling on in a stupid way]
Tucker: Shut the fuck up, no one cares about you. The only good thing that could come out of your mouth is my dick.
[She yells something drunkenly incomprensible]
Tucker: Take the mike from her. Honey, you could have saved us all the time and just stood up and said “I’m a sloppy slut” and sat down.
[She yells again]
Tucker: You look like a keg with a head. Shut up.

Didn't you feel the love?

-This girl tells a story about how her nose starts bleeding while she’s straddling a guy and making out with him. She runs to the bathroom to clean up, and he comes up and starts fucking her from behind.

Nils: “This is the second blood-related story we’ve had in four days.”
Tucker: “I don’t care about your story, show us your tits!”

Hahahahahahaha. That's brotastic!!!

A girl with fucked up hair stands up to tell a story:

Tucker: “Does [the story] involve that haircut, or how you got it? A lawn mower and a bottle of Jack Daniels or what?”
Girl: “Remember the time when you accidentally fucked a guy?”
Nils: “Hahahaha, I do! I remember!”
Tucker: “It may not have been a guy, it may have just been a very masculine stripper. Sweetie, don’t make me start making fat jokes, because I will fill you up like the Shoney’s buffet.”

Oh my God. I feel the warmth and overall love Tucker has for the ladies!!!

I'm waiting for TUcker to say that everytime he makes fun of a woman in a hideous way, another woman is saved from being raped. That's the logical end to his argument.

-TDG

9/18/2009 9:10 AM

I hope they serve FAIL in hell said...

scanning the script reader's comments, I found this one:

---
# Brett Meisner on August 2nd, 2008 10:25 am

Marc,

Book has moved like 400,000 units so far — just correcting your 120k figure.

Brett
---

That's right. Within the last 13 months, tugger sold 600,000 books.

Anonymous said...

"Actually I wrote this, and I was being facetious while imitating a Tucker fan. Guess I did a good job, because people took it seriosly.

Sorry, it was satire, not gospel."

I was going to post a comment about how I got a laugh out of your post... but then people started taking it seriously. 6 sold-out screenings per day? Hahaha. That happened once, and it was for Blair Witch Project. And that movie suuuuuuuucked.

Anonymous said...

so ryan holiday got busted editing tucker's wikipedia article and was subsequently banned for using multiple accounts to make it appear like he had consensus for his edits. then, it was found that ryan holiday works as PR for american apparel. well, let's look at american apparel's wikipedia article history and see if anyone interesting has edited it. oh, ryan holiday has under the name TheRegicider, his banned tucker max name. Wait, doesn't wikipedia have conflict of interest guidelines? Why yes, they do. that is why holiday was banned. but the real question is, does american apparel know that they have a PR man who helps promote rape culture?

it seems strange that American Apparel would have someone work for them who publicly approves of tucker's activities. perhaps they just don't know.

p.s. ryan holiday went to a state school. UC irvine. why does tucker make fun of state schools so much? duke is top 50 or top 40. it's not in the top 10. each top 10 school takes like 2-5k students per freshmen class. so he wasnt in the top 50,000-100,000 incoming freshmen students and we are supposed to be impressed by duke/uchicago? top 50 might as well be top 500 because no one cares. if it's not harvard, yale, or the other usual suspects, then it's not a big deal

Anonymous said...

Does anyone read tugger's insistence that he "loves women" and think of Michel "I love children" Jackson?

Of course, his claim that he "sold 1 million books, half of them to women" might explain why he's only sold 500,000 books.

Anonymous said...

Charlie Hoehn has not seen the writing on the wall:

http://charliehoehn.com/2009/09/19/the-end-of-insularity/#respond

"What both the lovers and the haters don’t realize, however, is that they are nothing but vocal minorities. They sit around talking to each other, affirming their viewpoints until they believe they’re operating within the only true reality. They mock the other group for being sycophants or trolls, while completely ignoring the fact that there is a HUGE group of people who remain silent, and are not nearly as passionate. "


You're saying the majority of people have never heard of and/or don't give a shit about Tucker? We agree!

Anonymous said...

4:51, college culture is just mind blowing to me. i always have a laugh when i see people arguing over which university is better or more elite.

who gives a fuck? assholes are lucky enough to get scholarships, or can afford these educations, and their free time is spent on pointless rivalry?

i really truly do hate bored first world citizens.

Anonymous said...

"115 theaters x 18 screenings each theater (fri, sat, sun) x 400 seats per theater x $10 each ticket = $8,280,000"

Actually, if they are only showing it on one screen you range from 3-5 showings a day, not 6. 2 Screens will get you 6-10 shows a day, and 3 screens will get you 11+

And of course then you have to consider early shows don't sell anything on the weekends, just the night shows Friday and Sunday.

I'm also doubting all the screens will be 400 seat theaters, those are reserved for larger blockbuster movies as most screens in a theater are ranged in number of seats.

Then of course consider matinee is not $10 and most regular tickets aren't $10 anyway. Matinee may cost 5-7, and regular where I live is 8.50-9.50 I've never seen $10 yet.

But it makes total sense, after all, why would T2 release on 4,000 screens when they clearly only need about half that.

Anonymous said...

"You're only on the Duke alumni listing if you opt to do so geninus-idiots."

False, almost no college anywhere works that way. Alumni lists are generally a matter of public record.

Anonymous said...

Tugger said [4/30/2007]:

If I fall victim to the LA bullshit, I deserve to have my ass kicked

I was looking forward to kicking his ass, just like he was looking forward to a private jet and fuck-you money.

Anonymous said...

"115 theaters x 18 screenings each theater (fri, sat, sun) x 400 seats per theater x $10 each ticket = $8,280,000"

Actually, if they are only showing it on one screen you range from 3-5 showings a day, not 6. 2 Screens will get you 6-10 shows a day, and 3 screens will get you 11+

And of course then you have to consider early shows don't sell anything on the weekends, just the night shows Friday and Sunday.

I'm also doubting all the screens will be 400 seat theaters, those are reserved for larger blockbuster movies as most screens in a theater are ranged in number of seats.

Then of course consider matinee is not $10 and most regular tickets aren't $10 anyway. Matinee may cost 5-7, and regular where I live is 8.50-9.50 I've never seen $10 yet.

But it makes total sense, after all, why would T2 release on 4,000 screens when they clearly only need about half that.

---------------


And the theater takes half of the profits....so halve that projection in real terms.

NoNicknameGuy said...

I'm not sure if anyone has picked up on this already, but I found it interesting:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-tucker20-2009sep20,0,1269489.story

"FOR THE RECORD:
Tucker Max: An article in today's Calendar about Tucker Max and the upcoming movie based on his book, "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," said that the writer appears on the 2009 Time 100, a list of influential people. Max was only a finalist for the list. —"

I seem to remember Tucker saying differently, though I'm too lazy to look it up right now.

Anonymous said...

Freestyle also takes around 30% of the gross. And they'll need to spend 3,000 * 115 = 345,000 on the film prints.

Anonymous said...

^^^ NNG,

In typical Tucker fashioned, he claimed several times that he was 'nominated' for the list- a true claim, but one that the average listener would likely interpret as him making the list. No question Tucker described it that way intentionally, to allow people to conclude that he had made the list. It's something he does often- a typical self-spin move.

Anonymous said...

The Duke University Alumni Association considers anyone who has attended Duke for two consecutive semesters and left the University in good standing to be an alumnus.

Sure, Tugtug might be an alumnus, but he didn't graduate. No fucking way did he graduate.

Anonymous said...

The fact that he didn't graduate makes him even more hilarious.

Part of his ridiculous shtick is having a JD.

"Wow .. he's a lawyer! I thought he was just a fucking loser drop-out who's drinking his life away pretending to be cool"

Is going to be replaced by

"Wow .. He's a pathetic drop out, who lied about having graduated from Duke to boost his feeble ego."

He's hilarious ..

Anonymous said...

Sorry, guys... I just can't buy it. Telling people he's a Duke grad if he isn't is just too obvious a lie. Go write a book or something, and constantly claim you graduated from Harvard, and see how long it takes for you to get called on it.

Tucker's a fucking douchebag and he's going to fail, but I think the JD is real.

Anonymous said...

Dude .. Duke isn't exactly Harvard.

Who would've called Tucker out? Exactly .. no one. You can go out claiming you've graduated from Duke, and if there's any record of you attending Duke law no one is going to think you're pathetic enough to claim that you graduated when you didn't.

Anonymous said...

^^^ Yeah, I know Duke isn't Harvard, and I know people can get away with a lot, but as hated as Tucker is, you don't think that, by this time, SOMEONE who knew he DIDN'T graduate wouldn't have notified someone at Duke law, who would have issued a cease order against him claiming something that wasn't true? We've had a number of people who went to law school with him comment on these boards, yet nobody's ever come forward to state with certainty or evidence that he's claiming something untrue? Further, as dishonest and all as Tucker is, he's able to get away with lying about his 'crazy stories' precisely because so many of his claims are unquantifiable. This one is easily falsifiable is untrue, and there's no way someone as concerned about his public image as Tucker is would so boldly claim something that could be so easily disproven. The Duke people know he exists, and by now, SOMEone would have come come forward to dismiss the claim- or else Tucker would have stopped claiming it altogether for fear of being exposed.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there a picture of him, in cap and gown, with his graduating class? Why are you guys reaching so far to make fun of him? He's provided us with hundreds of other stupid quotes just this year alone. "The Hangover," anyone?

Same thing with him being gay. Maybe, but why speculate when there's so much good material? Makes your position seem weaker IMO.

Anonymous said...

i think Tucker-didn't-graduate-guy (TDGG) might be a fucking fanboy here to discredit this site. just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone see this review of Tugger's movie?

"Max's vulgar film pathetic, rarely funny

I’m not sure if they serve beer in hell, but they definitely serve buttered popcorn and fountain drinks. Let me clarify, “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” a motion picture based on Tucker Max’s novel with the same name, was hell to sit through.

Now, before you all ask, I didn’t read the book before seeing the film; however, I did read a handful of the short stories on Max’s Web site, www.tuckermax.com, specifically the one about Tucker drilling a little person.

The source material is vulgar and controversial, which — I’m guessing here — is the reason behind its success. I didn’t find the short stories to be funny, but I understood the target audience Max was going for. Judging from the crowd’s reaction, if you liked the book, you might like the movie.

The book autobiographically chronicles Max’s late night, supposedly true stories. The film still has these stories, but they attempt to weave them into a linear story line. It follows Max (Matt Czuchry) and his two friends, Drew (Jesse Bradford) and Dan (Geoff Stults), as they tear up strip clubs in Salem, Ore. Max is the meathead ringleader of the troop, and Drew is the Halo-obsessed cyber nerd. Dan is probably the most interesting character of the film, as he’s a seemingly decent man who is about to get married, and watching him repeatedly lie to his fiancee — only to genuinely regret it later — is the dramatic anchor of an otherwise pointless merry-go-round of poop gags and sex extremities. It’s like “The Hangover,” but not funny.

The lead performances are the bright spot of “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” notably Czuchry as Max and Stults as Dan. Czuchry plays Max with a strangely charming persona, giving Tucker’s character, who is narrow-minded and self-centered, a deeper psyche. Stults is convincing as a man who is caught in the middle of two different worlds.

The central problem, ironically, is Max as a screenwriter, not as a character. His dialogue is gaudy and makes you feel dirty to be alive. Max and co-writer Nils Parker attempt to balance obscenity, potty humor and disgruntled views on sexuality with an uplifting message about friendship, and it’s oddly perplexing.

One minute Tucker Max is pooping on himself; the next, he’s attempting to deliver a life-defining speech at his friend’s wedding, accompanied by light, coming-of-age music and children bouncing on a Bouncy Castle. There’s also a 10 minute scene where Drew and Lara (Marika Dominczyk), an exotic dancer, insult each other back and forth to the point of tedium, and somehow Lara finds it amusing to be called a “dirty whore.”

Sitting through the movie you’ll learn about the “pancakewich” and the “soft off,” but tacky, trend-setting words such as these aren’t durable enough to shelter you from the acid rain that is “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.”"

http://statenews.com/index.php/article/2009/09/maxs_vulgar_film_pathetic_rarely_funny

The comments are funny.

Anonymous said...

It's just a few more days until Tucker's dogshit movie flames out!

Anonymous said...

Tucker looks haggard in the photo on this page:

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/Tucker-Max-Will-Not-Tolerate-Disrespect-ads-cta-pulled-film-59857072.html

Anonymous said...

"His dialogue is gaudy and makes you feel dirty to be alive."

I just love this line.

"but tacky, trend-setting words such as these aren’t durable enough to shelter you from the acid rain that is “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.”"

This is pretty good too.

gH0$t d0g said...

This post in the responses to the online Tribune article really sums up why Tucker is so doucheriffic:

""They've purposely manipulated my work -- which is a satire and a comedy...."

So are your stories real or fiction? You promote them as true and, in fact, you get very defensive when anyone calls you a liar. So if your stories are true, then you HAVE used and abused women, leading them on for your perverted sexual entertainment and then humiliating and dumping them. How, exactly, does this qualify as "satire" or "comedy"?

He always wants to have his cake and eat it, too. He's an "artist" who creates "satire" but his stories are also 100% true, bro! That's some serious catch-22 shit right there.

gH0$t d0g said...

p.s. It was me who suggested that Reasonable Smart Guy (RSG) be called RSG. In fact if you've seen a great, unclaimed anonymous post on this or Cockly's blog you can just assume it was me

Anonymous said...

1) Tucker graduated from Duke Law School, and I graduated with him
2) Duke is a top school comparable with Harvard (I got into both law schools, if it matters, and chose Duke).

Anonymous said...

“Tucker: I always have my iPhone with me, which I can use to take voice notes, but it’s not like I leave it on all the time.”

Yes, I've had my Iphone since the stories started in 1998. Fuck you if you didn't get one till 2007 (which none of my stories occur after 2007)

Anonymous said...

Can we please not turn this thread into ANOTHER debate about the merits of various schools? (Why does every haterz thread devolve into that?) Think what you want.

Anonymous said...

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/i_hope_they_serve_beer_in_hell/

First official T-meter review went up today on Rotten Tomatoes.

http://www.slantmagazine.com/film/film_review.asp?ID=4519

Anonymous said...

http://blogs.citypages.com/gimmenoise/2009/09/qa_tucker_max_b.php

Anonymous said...

^^^ From the above interview:

"TM: There's a high correlation between success and exposure."

Wow, brah. Did you just come up with that? That's fucking insightful as fuck and shit, brah. You must have an economics degree and shit.

NoNicknameGuy said...

"Don't get me wrong dude; I'm not laughing at you. It's just funny because for the past couple of years we've been killing ourselves to get this movie made, and everyone just assumes it's going to be a success."

Who are these idiots that are assuming it's going to be a success? You could say there is an outside chance of it making a decent profit, but assuming a film debuting on 115 screens is going to succeed is moronic.

I hope they serve FAIL in hell said...

Consider this: Tucker used to have a real "bring-it-on" attitude about protesters. His response this time seems weak and lame (methinks the lady doth protest too much). I wonder how darko feels about it.

Another thought on that -- his previous attitude seems more like internet tough guy talk (especially on his own board where he can ban anyone). When he gets called on his shit (opie & andy, rape protesters, etc) he doesn't know what to do. He could purge opie & andy references from his board, he could have negative amazon.com reviews deleted, ryan holiday can spend all day editing his wikipedia page, he can spam the doucebag gblog, but he can't do jack shit about the protesters.

Anonymous said...

http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2009/09/trigger-warning.html

TM is seriously pissing people off.
This isn't even run-of-the-mill criticism of a shitty fucked-up culture. AND TM is too offensive for the criticism to even be a good thing, as a promotional tool or whatever.

This is serious fucking fail.

Anonymous said...

^^^^^
The writer managed to finish this entry without mentioning what movie or book or blogger she was referring to (except in the link). I wish all those who are disgusted by Otto would do the same. He revels in this type of negative publicity and counts every mention of his name or movie in any type of media in any context, as a good thing.
Having said that, I think he is sorely mistaken in thinking that in the case of this particular movie, controversy is going to equal big box office. People are not stupid. Correction: people who are not TM fans are not that stupid.

Anonymous said...

It's fucking awesome that he lost most of his print ad campaign in Chicago, since that's where most of the theaters that are playing this piece of shit are located.

This might be the dumbest marketing campaign in the history of cinema.

Somebody should make a t-shirt to read "I Got Raped By Tucker Max" with that picture of him getting booked at jail right underneath it. Betcha the feminists would buy it up and probably most of his fans.

Anonymous said...

i feel kinda bad for tuckeroo. his latest blog tugged at my heart strings. he's defeated man, at this point it's kind of cruel to continue making fun of him.

really, one thing i can assure hell doesn't serve is a chance of his movie gathering enough numbers to go wide. ZINGGINZINGZING

seriously tho, he's fucked. there's absolutely no way he's going wide, and i think he knows it. if i didn't previously know who tucker max was from maddox's website when i was like 16 (i'm 19 going on 20 now), then i wouldn't even know about this movie or even who he is. and if i had seen the trailer i would have thought "eh, i'll download it when it's on the demonoid circuit".

poor poor tug tug. only thing that's gonna save him now is a fluke along the lines of what happened with greek wedding, which is extremely rare. otherwise he better hope for good dvd sales, in the least he'll get cult status, but i'm sure his movie will be sitting by "miss march" in wal-mart collecting cob webs.

Anonymous said...

Don't you get it? Tugger has a revolutionary plan. He's three steps ahead of everyone else. Those who get it, get it. For everyone else, even if he explained it to you, you still wouldn't get it. That's why he never mentions what it is. Trust me.

The Deconstruction Guy said...

An Evening with Tucker Max (Deconstructed)

In this episode: We see that Tucker Max isn’t even original in his interview answers.

Question: Your book has been on the New York Times Bestseller List since 2006. Why decide now to finally turn it into a movie?

“Tucker Max: We could have made this movie a lot sooner.”

Yeah, with a much better script, a much better cast and a bigger budget, but fuck those Jews in Hollywood.

“Nils (referring to Nils Parker, the movie's co-screenwriter) and I had an offer a little while back to turn the book into a TV show,”

Offer? Dude, you were saying how the TV show was going to be made by a big producer. Now it’s circled down the drain and has become “an offer”?

Here’s a guess, if anybody does an interview with him in 2011, he will go on to describe the epic failure of his movie as being “just a YouTube video”.

“but we would have had to give up creative control and that wasn't going to happen.”

Yeah, because if anybody was going to fuck this movie up, it was going to be Tucker Max!!

“We had a major movie studio offer us $2 million for the rights,”

Wait? What? Dude, I know I’m not a U of Chicago grad or anything, but 2 million dollars is NOT EIGHT FIGURES.

2,000,000 = SEVEN FIGURES!!!

Maybe it was 8 figures, if you include the .00 at the end of that number.

Did the interviewer end up making him drink a truth serum

“but it was the same thing; they wanted creative control and they would have fucked it all up.”

So Tucker kept creative control and fucked it all up.

“So we said no and waited until we could do it our way and now here we are.”

With a movie that nobody outside of his ever dwindling fan base will like (or watch).

Q: Now that the movie is done, how do you decide whether or not it's successful? Is it financial success or fan acceptance that you're most interested in?

“TM: There's a high correlation between success and exposure.”

There’s also a high correlation between having that exposure include the words “rape culture” and success or lack thereof.

“In most cases, fan acceptance and financial success are one in the same; if it's accepted by fans, you'll make money.”

Yeah, Scientologists LOVED Battlefield: Earth and look how much fucking money that piece of art made.

“ I don't do shit for cult success.”

That’s sort of where his success might lie. Like, this movie is so fucking horrible that it becomes a cult classic and sells more DVD’s. I’m sure he’ll figure out a way to explain that “this was the plan the entire time”, but it’s fun watching him NOT take credit for shit beyond his control and shit.

“We made this movie for the same reason that we create all of our art; because we love it.”

In Nigeria, a 2 year old baby died of AIDS.

“If you're an artist of any kind, whether it's a writer, filmmaker, painter or whatever, and you say that you create art for any reason other than that, then you don't understand what art is all about.”

I quote Tucker when he said:

I have a question I use as a test of sorts when evaluating how wise a man is. It has to come in the proper conversational context, but I will ask him, “Why do you do anything?” and if he says anything other than the one correct word, I know he is either young or stupid or self-delusional in one way or another. I was VERY happy when I posed this question to Bob and without hesitation he said, “Pussy.” Any man who understands that, understands the world.

So that’s why Tucker creates his “art”: for the pussy (which he was getting before he was an “artist”).

I apologize to the parents of the two children who just died of AIDS because I said “art” and “artist” while referring to the work of Tucker Max.

Fuck, another two babies died...

The Deconstruction Guy said...

Part II:

Q: So let's say that this movie blows up and exceeds your expectations -

“TM: This movie can't blow up bigger than I expect. There is no number or level of success that would make me think, "Wow, I didn't think that was possible."”

I’m sure that same sentence “I didn’t think that was possible” will also be uttered when his movie tanks.

Q: OK, then let's say that this movie exceeds other people's expectations. Would you consider making another movie?

“TM: Definitely. We've already got material in mind for three sequels,”

I know the titles already: The Fellowship of the Douche, The Two Douchebags and Return of the Douchebag.

“based on my stories and just the general direction that we see the characters in this movie moving towards.”

Yeah, you leave so many unanswered questions with the ending of your movie that it completely warrants a sequel.

Q: Speaking of your stories, you have another book coming out next year with a whole new set of wild adventures from your life. As you continue to write stories and make movies, are you going to keep writing about the same subject matter and catering to the same demographic? Or do you see your stories reflecting your growth or maturity?

“TM: I'm not wise enough or stupid enough to think that I can write fiction.”

Yeah, but Tucker, most people ARE wise enough to realize you’ve been writing fiction all along.

“My writing is authentic and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.”

Or what he wants his life to look like so people will like him and think he’s cool.

“This movie is based on the stuff I was doing at 23 or 24.”

Except for the stuff he lies about, which is like 75% of the book.

“I'm 33 now. I'm not out at the bars every weekend trying to pick up 19-year-olds anymore, because that would just be lame and stupid.”

Except the 19 year olds he picks up at his movie screenings, which is still lame and stupid, but you don’t need to know about that. FUCK YOU BANNED!!!

“Back when I was younger, I was like an unguided missile of debauchery. Now, I'm more like a smart missile.”

A smart missile that delivers a pay load of lies and herpes.

Q: For someone who has never heard of you or the book, what would you tell them about the movie?

“TM: We wanted to prove that you can make a funny guy-movie that can be successful,”

Tucker, I’m serious about this when I say this, but there have been PLENTY OF FUNNY GUY MOVIES THAT HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL!!!

Are you fucking serious? You’ve been trying to compare how much better your movie was than the Hangover, which meets all the criteria of your definition that you just listed. Do you think we’re all retards?

Oh wait, I forgot about TMMB, so that’s exactly what you think.

“which everyone knows is true by now. But what we were trying to do with the characters was show how Tucker's narcissism affects his relationships with his friends.”

Hahahahaha. How your narcissism affects his friends. Yeah dude, that would be awesome, except I must have gotten up during that part of the movie where TheBunny ends up getting ass fucked by a total stranger in rehab. Or where Kung Fu Mike is working for a roofing company, or how Luke Heidleberg still has cases of your book in his garage. Or how most of your law school buddies don’t answer your phone calls. Hahahaha, because that would be fucking AWESOME!!!

“Yeah, it's funny to watch but there's a darker side to it that almost ruins his friendships.”

Or how it turns fans into “haterz”.

“We also wanted to make it feel realistic.”

So he made up a bunch of shit that didn’t occur to tie together a bunch of random short stories that had nothing to do with each other in the context of the book (which is also the title of his movie).

Total. And. Complete. Realism.

The Deconstruction Guy said...

Part III:

“The whole movie spans the course of about a week. At the end, Tucker has learned a lesson, but he hasn't really changed as a person.”

In fact, in real life Tucker has changed, but he’s only become douchier as he overcompensates and overcompensates and overcompensates.

“That's because in real life, no one has a complete transformation over the course of a week.”

Except for Nils Parker, who transforms into an even more fatter guy over the course of EACH week.

“Have you ever met anyone who completely changed their personality that quickly?”

Well, there was this guy who was making a movie, and he said a lot of really nice things about the area he was filming in. Then he left the area after the movie was over. Months pass and the people who helped him make the movie in the area ask him if there could be a screening for the cast and crew. That guy totally changed his personality into a total douchebag who not only said “no” impolitely but also said it in the same public place he just said those nice things a few months before.

But no, nobody ever changes their personality that quickly.

Q: What do you say to people who claim that this movie is misogynistic and exploits women?

“TM: See the movie. The people who say that obviously haven't seen the movie and have no idea what it's even about.”

I’ve seen the movie. It’s about a misogynist who goes to a strip bar (but a strip bar that doesn’t exploit women).

“In fact, the two female leads are probably the two strongest characters in the entire movie.”

Yeah, the stripper doesn’t even have a drug or alcohol problem, likes men and owns property.

Also, Keri Lynn Pratt’s character has all of 10 lines, but it totally shows her strength, especially when measured against the caricatures of the 3 other lead characters.

“And if the movie is so terrible and exploits women, then why is it that there are so many women coming to see this movie on every stop on the tour, and laughing their asses off the whole time?”

To quote Tucker Max from an article in the NY Whatever:

"Eight times out of 10, if you come to my Web site to have sex with me, there's something broken about you," Max answered, finally decoding the mystery.

Thank you Tucker Max.

Anonymous said...

Part IV:

“The people who want to protest me or this movie need to go see the film before they pass judgment on it.”

Yes, you feminists should go to a premiere show, and then you can not only see for yourself how wrong you were about the movie, but you can stay after the show so Tucker Max can single you out of a crowd and tell you that HE IS NOT A MISOGONIST, BUT HOW YOU’RE ALSO A FAT AND UGLY WHORE.

“Based on the success you've had with the blog, the success you've had with the book and now the success you've had with this premiere tour, it's probably safe to say that this movie is going to be successful. So where do you go from here?”

Holy shit dude, I wasn’t going to comment on your questions because in general you were doing a good job, but that last question was like you were channeling Brandon Mendelson. Have you read what I did to him?

Stop kissing ass, it's an interview, not an infomercial

“TM: (Laughs) Can't we fucking release this thing before I have to worry about what I'm going to do next?”

Why Tucker? You’ve already said how huge this movie is going to be. Don’t you have plans for when this is a success? And I don’t mean “I’m going to buy a jet” Lenny Dykstra type plans. I mean, what’s next bitch?

“Don't get me wrong dude; I'm not laughing at you.”

He needs you to write a good puff piece, so he is laughing at you, just not to your face.

“It's just funny because for the past couple of years we've been killing ourselves to get this movie made,”

Tucker and Nils are zombies, but instead of eating your brains, they’re just douchebags.

“and everyone just assumes it's going to be a success.”

And when he says “everybody” he means him, Nils, Darko and a lot of very worried investors.

“I hope you're right, man, and I'm glad that you have faith that it's going to be successful. But as for where we go from here, we need to make this thing a success first._”

Unlike what Tucker has done, which is make this a total and complete failure.

4 days bitch. 4 days.

-TDG

Anonymous said...

TDG, I love you.

--cheery female fan

Anonymous said...

“We had a major movie studio offer us $2 million for the rights,”

Wait? What? Dude, I know I’m not a U of Chicago grad or anything, but 2 million dollars is NOT EIGHT FIGURES.

2,000,000 = SEVEN FIGURES!!!

Maybe it was 8 figures, if you include the .00 at the end of that number.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

OWNED!!!

Anonymous said...

TDG,

“TM: Definitely. We've already got material in mind for three sequels,”

I know the titles already: The Fellowship of the Douche, The Two Douchebags and Return of the Douchebag.

----------------------

Brilliant wor k yet again mate. It's going to blow once this bombs and you retire, but I'm enjoying the ride.

The British Guy

Anonymous said...

why does everyone argue over the merits of their university anyway? people don't soil their undergarments when they hear someone graduated from harvard/duke. generally speaking, on a person to person basis, it means jack shit. it's not the way it used to be.

what do i see at these "totally sweet, i'm so educated bro" colleges anyhow? a bunch of leftist morons and dumb jocks.

Anonymous said...

“That's because in real life, no one has a complete transformation over the course of a week.”

Except for Nils Parker, who transforms into an even more fatter guy over the course of EACH week.
_____________________________________

TDG, your writing is consistently funny and focused, but every time you write a new entry, I'm following along with you, and all of a sudden you bring something that causes me to literally LOL. Tonight, this quote was that something. Great work as usual.

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