Sunday, October 18, 2009

Hey brah

How does it feel to be on the winning team, brah?

Grab yourself a drink, Barry Bater made punch and I do believe TDG has provided some pie for us all. Pull up a chair, put your feet up - we've got nothing to do but toast.

(Success Baby says... "Success!")

Watching IHTSBIH revenue slow and slow. Currently sitting on $1.3 million and, oh my, does it feel good to be right!

It's been entertaining as fuck watching Tucker Max bring financial and professional ruin on himself and others. That boastful claim about topping whatever "The Hangover" could do, the outright lies about distribution up until the very last second when he revealed it was Freestyle, the rumours about how everyone on set hated him, the grandiosity of his paradigm-shifting plans for Hollywood and so on. If I could turn the clock back and live it all over again, from scratch, then I would do it in a heartbeat.

I loved the way people outright said to Tucker on his own message boards that it would not be a success, and he slammed them, deleted them, banned them. Has there ever been a more enjoyable story of a douchebag getting his come-uppance?

Now folks, I know things aren't over yet - we still have the DVD release to look forward to, and of course, the smash hit that will be Assholes Finish First (yeah it was pushed back a year brah, cos the world wasn't ready!) But surely you can't be mad at me for wanting to toast this moment?

FUN FACT: If you made any money at all this year, or at least lost less than 10 million dollars - then you are more successful than Tucker Max.

There has been too much to enjoy on Rudius Boards now: the blame game, the sycophantic mods finally starting to see the light, long-term fans getting FUCKYOUBANNED at the drop of a hat. Its like watching a seed grow into a beautiful flower. Truly, it is the perfect compliment to the piss-poor box office receipts.

I don't really have that much else to say, what a fun ride it has been to this point. I just felt that this blogspot needed a little something written about how things have gone, and I thought it was about time we slapped each other on the back and said "Fuck Tucker Max. His time is up!".

Apologies that this little hate website never quite got the constant flow of content it deserved. Now that things are over I feel I could've done so much more for you haters. Truly it was that shone bright. And, in the end, it was you guys who became the stars of the show!

Stand up:

Barry Bater (he helped liven up the tuckermaxlies office, and I like to think we shared a moment at the Christmas party...)
The Deconstruction Guy (aka TDG) (the Michael Jordan of this shit)
Think About Tucker Guy (aka TATguy) (I will never stop TAT, I love you)
Japanese Spammer
Ryan Holiday's Intern

Viacom Guy

Cockly McBeefwell
Cloud Starchaser
Fiat dollars guy
Anti-Semitic guy
Guy who fucked The Trixie up the ass
Former mod (yay, for you saw the light!)
Current mods (it's not too late to jump ship!)
mccoymountain and pmcdonnell (IMDB is a better place with you in it)
and people I forgot because I'm lame, and all those of you who fake-nicknamed up...

or remained... Anonymous

Raise your glasses! To Tucker Max and his lies!


Anonymous said...

Tucker is a loser.

How does epic failure feel, Tucker?

Anonymous said...

there was a guy who fucked trixie up the ass or is that just his name?

Anonymous said...

No, some guy actually did.

Also, I'm pretty sure mccoy = viacom, anti-Semitic, and fiat dollars guy. There were also rumors that he's Cloud Starchaser.

Anonymous said...

*slow clap*

Anonymous said...

Nice try - this story is a repeat and totally made up, MCBEEFSMOKA ! ! ! ! !

Anonymous said...

Don't forget top of the line guy! I wasn't the first to Mcbeefsmoke each page but I did it 5-6 times until it's become a time honored tradition.

Barry Bater said...

Excellent post, Light. Thank you for the props. It's been great working with you, and no matter what happens from here on out, we'll always have the Christmas party.

Anonymous said...


I was one of the many regular anon posters.

Well done all you named folks.

Anonymous said...

Here's to Tucker. One more foolish man destroyed by his own weaknesses, called up by Jewish-inspired envy of Jewish corruption in the service of Jews.


-or maybe just a cunning troll ... YOU DECIDE

All the pussy that's thrown said...

I'm Tucker Max, and I don't have enough dicks.

Anonymous said...

^^^ You don't have enough bucks, either.

Anonymous said...

Really!?!? ...some guy fucked Marnie Tyler "The Trixie" in the ass??? Wow...

Anonymous said...

LOL this time the king asshole didn't finish first!

Anonymous said...

Tucker is fail!

Anonymous said...

Fuck All Of You Tucker Haters =)