Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A check your ass can't cash

I think one of the things that makes those of us in the ‘anti-Tucker’ camp laugh so much is Tucker’s (and by logical extension, his ilk of ill-willed whelks – ha, ha… that was highly lame) utter obliviousness to his own antics.
It’s true; Tucker does make us laugh, but not for the reasons he makes psorry pseudofrats and would-be womanizers laugh. Tucker makes me laugh because he continually promises things he doesn’t deliver on.


All aboard the USS Tucker


I wrote the following post anonymously on the Doucebag blog a while back; It sums up what I’m talking about:

Tuck wrote this today: "So I promised more posts now that editing is over, and what do I do? Not post for like two weeks. Good job Tucker, fucking dick.

Here's the thing: I don't know what to write about because there's nothing to do right now. I mean, don't get me wrong, there is a lot being done, but none of it is being done by me, and nothing really requires my feedback or input."

He wrote these things awhile back: "Lots more pics and videos coming..."

"...That being said, we have a TON of video that we haven't cataloged yet, and Greg is working furiously on that now. So there will be new stuff from the shooting coming...."

"For the next few months, I will probably only post 2-3 times per week. I am going to go back and address a lot of things I missed, answer all the questions from this thread, and clean stuff up like that..."

Those are pull quotes from various blog entries, but the latest one is from October. Hey, doucebag, if you have nothing to do (since you're useless to those people actually WORKING on the movie, and you pushed your book back ANOTHER year), how about getting to all the revolutionary behind-the-scenes stuff you promised four months ago? Or are you too busy not having a girlfriend anymore?

Tucker really believes his own hype, even though all available evidence points to the contrary. He prattles on about how ‘revolutionary’ his movie blog is, even though it’s just a few basic explanations of some of the things that go into getting a movie made – but it’s nothing a guy can’t figure out on his own, or read about on 6,000 other websites, were he so inclined.
But in order to really make a revolutionary, behind-the-scenes type of presentation, he’d need to do more than just post random interviews with Steadicam operators, sandwiched in between fifty-seven posts that are some variation on the theme of how ‘the die has been cast/ it’s all on the table/ our fates have been sealed.’ Maybe he’s planning on heaving a ton of new behind-the-scenes material our way after the movie releases, but how is that revolutionary? That’s done all the time. Meanwhile, readers are left scratching their heads because they don’t know anything more about the WHOLE, COHESIVE, SYSTEMATIC moviemaking process than they did when they started. He simply hasn’t delivered.
Lack of delivery is the only consistent thing about him. Bunny’s book? His second book? A movie by the end of 2008? All these TV shows and book deals he supposedly helmed? Rudius Media is still just a clever name for a bunch of linked websites… if he’d only promised to spin his wheels and be a mediocre has-been novelty act who only encountered a modicum of fame because the ubiquity of the internet was still in its relative infancy, at least we could give him credit for making good on his promises.
All the while, NOBODY buzzes about how revolutionary Tucker’s project is except him. I know, I know: nobody’s going to see it until a few years down the road. Does he really expect anyone to believe that? Does he really believe it himself?
Eh, who knows… maybe he’ll prove us all wrong. All I know is that the economy’s in the tank, everyone’s struggling just to survive, and here’s this guy, acting like what he’s doing is actually important to the world. He really plans to achieve something great. We all know how often what he plans actually comes to pass.

114 comments:

Anonymous said...

'set sail for dissapointment'... ha ha

Anonymous said...

You might want to break up that last paragraph into smaller sentences.

Easier to read that way.

Good job!

Anonymous said...

*foghorn*

Anonymous said...

tucker max is full of ish. hes always promising stuff he cant deliver. like being funny and writing well.

steve said...

Redtube

Anonymous said...

tucker's an idiot. keep up the good work.

jlee said...

i hate when people comment on ur awesomeness just to say 'u may want to break up paragraph into smaller blah blah's' its annoying, im annoyed just reading it...

jus sayin....ramble on my friend ramble...

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max is a gay fish.

Anonymous said...

Hmm... the only thing I've seen you do in that entire paragraph is complain about how he isn't on the computer, furiously uploading, and anwsering stuff for your amusment. Wow, good for you. Have you ever thought that maybe he didn't stay behind the computer screen 24/7? Ever think that maybe he actually does do shit outside of working? Really? Get a life, step away from the computer, and stop being jealous you can't be like Tucker Max ;P

Anonymous said...

^^^ Don't say you're gonna do it if you're not gonna do it. That's the point of the post. It isn't that hard, idiot.

Anonymous said...

I am not a "hater" (yo!), but I did go to Duke Law with Tucker Max, and I think a representative tale of how the "charming" portion of his internet-fueled "persona" is a fraud was his behavior during law school softball games.

Tucker was captain of his team in the Duke Law softball league, and his propensity to cut corners to win combined with hilariously over the top poor sportsmanship made playing against him (not so much of) a pleasure. I'll spare too many details, but one example is that his team had these special bats made of graphite or ceramic or something which they wouldn’t let opponents use. If that wasn’t douchey enough, he would recruit the best players from other teams for big games, despite the fact that this was a blatant flouting of the spirit/rules of the league, which was, after all...a law school slow pitch softball league filled with ivy league caliber nerds.

My team faced his team in a playoff game during 2L year as underdogs of probably at least 20 runs. Predictably, the two ringers in the law school (who were technically on other teams) made an appearance for Team Tucker, an event which may have boosted the spread to 30. Yes, our team was the modern equivalent of the Bad News Bears – strictly recreational – and we featured a few guys who had probably never picked up a baseball bat before the season.

Of course, we won...thanks Tucker!

How did Tucker single handedly bring down a vastly superior team (his own)? Consistent with his narcissistic need to be the center of his universe, Tucker inserted himself at a prominent position in the field (shortstop) and batted himself third in the lineup. Unfortunately, for such a self-proclaimed alpha male, he is a really terrible athlete - bad enough to completely neutralize the small handful of superior athletes on his team. He must have mishandled about seven routine grounders in this game, and as you might guess, he also likes to throw the ball as hard as he can to first base, even though getting it in the vicinity of first base didn’t seem to be much of a priority. In case you are wondering, he also popped up into an out nearly every time at the plate.

Still, it took a lot of karmic justice to win this game; a few well placed bloop singles counterbalanced a few 400 foot flyouts by their two ringers...but those seven errors by the egomaniacal shortstop didn’t hurt.

However, the result of the game isn’t what’s interesting. The best part came when Tucker and “JoJo” refused to shake our hands after the victory. Way to buck social norms, Tuck! What a rebel...

Not only would he not shake hands, but the truly priceless moment I will never forget featured Tucker loudly consoling himself by repeatedly whining in his lispy, effeminate voice about the unfairness of our bingle-centric approach - this remains one of the few absurdly humorous moments in my dreary "elite" law school experience and was certainly funnier than any of the trash he pawns off as "literature" on males with no life experience and even less ability to think critically.

Few things are funnier than spoiled rich kids with unchecked egos who don’t get their way.

Anyway, I can’t say his team was much fun to play against, since they took the game so seriously and were constantly bickering at one another when shit went bad. Then again, I generally recommend avoiding athletic competition against lawyers (unless you like whimpering and excessive preoccupation with rules). I really don’t have any particular axe to grind against Tucker Max, although I remember him (as I am sure most people do) to be quite charmless and almost universally disrespected when not hiding behind an internet persona.

If you like this comment, feel free to re-post it as an anonymous but truthful article.

Dani said...

why do you care so much? if youre not a fan, why do you go to his website? what difference does it make to you if he posts or not?

Anonymous said...

Who stole the other blog?

Anonymous said...

Hey Dani, why are you a dumb whore?

And who stole our other blog? Who do you think?

Tucker Max stole our blog, because he's a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

I mean seriously! Mr. Alpha Male Hollywood couldn't stand people mocking his "art" so had to have the blog deleted.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

If he has enough time to take a blog down that bad mouths him, he must not have much to do in producing his movie.

Maybe distribution doesn't take that much effort.

Maybe he'll now have the time to follow up with all his promises he made on his page.

I almost wish Otto was more famous so he's have 10,000 fan sites to try to take down rather than 1.

Anonymous said...

One of the nice things about the limited movie release is that it'll be easy to purloin a digital copy, and make it available for wide distribution.

Anonymous said...

You can't really nuke that blog. The stories all all archived. We can repost them anywhere.

Anonymous said...

Can I get a FUCK TUCKER?

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=21127102&postID=117436504077523328

Anonymous said...

This timing is interesting. That the TM Douchebag website is apparently gone right as the news of Tucker's epic FAIL in securing not only a "Major" distributor as he both promised & asserted, but having to settle for a rent-a-distributor b/c nobody else wanted the movie, strikes me as very odd.

Did the Dbag website actually originate from Tucker himself as a way to drum up interest in his project? Possibly. If so, I'll give him full credit for taking years of shit & being called out w/o reacting.

Of course now that his epic Fail is exposed, he needs to do as much damage control as possible.

The "115 Days & Counting" post on IHTSBIH website just reeks of desperation.

The unintentional comedy continues.

Anonymous said...

Tucker is way too sensitive, and way too controlling to initiate an unfiltered Anti-Tucker blog. Consider the ongoing wikipedia revision war; Tucker and his minions would eradicate negative comments within an hour or two. Also consider the negative comments disappearing on Amazon of his crappy book.

No, Tucker pulled some stunt with the blog provider. Perhaps he applied legal pressure through Darko's attorney.

The timing is interesting, I'll give you that. I think Tucker wants to cleanse the Internet of any sources that call into question the veracity of his bullshit stories. The douchebag blog was too comprehensive, and too easily linked. All it would take is a link in the online student newspapers at each city, coordinated with the premier of his dreary movie. That's why he bombed the blog, in my humble opinion.

And hint hint... that's the best strategy for screwing over Tucker during his movie tour. Every student paper should be linked to this blog, and all message boards and sites that distribute copies of his script.

Anonymous said...

Or simply proliferate ten different blogs with names like:

tuckermaxfail.blogspot.com
tuckermaxisjamesfrey.blogspot.com

And so on and so forth. Just take the cataloged info from the DB site and interconnect them in an Anti-Rudius Media web ring. It'll take, like, ten minutes to do.

Again... its a lack of control. I personally would think its amusing, unless the DB was part of his "revolutionary" plan - drawing on pure hatred to spread the word. Yet ignoring him isn't as fun since it seems word of mouth on the movie is barely a blip outside the hardcore on either side.

- LoC

Anonymous said...

Just bookmark this link, the page is still available for comments:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=21127102&postID=117436504077523328

Anonymous said...

Did they really pull that blog? Bad move. That was great marketing and an easy way to keep an eye on the enemy. Now a few more blogs will sprout up.

Why does Tucker even care about such things. Who pulled it, his attorney?

I always love how he talks about Rudius as if it's IBM; employees actually getting paychecks and 401k + pension and health. He also talk about having several assistants. Really? But that facade always comes crashing down when you see stuff like the Ohio State Speech. Shot non-pro, with no audio, no mics, no lighting AND Tucker himself in his apartment saying "sorry I can't upload the speech video, my Time Warner Internet keeps crashing."

Sounds like a billion dollar corp to me ;)

Anonymous said...

Tucker didn't pull the blog. The blog hadn't been used by the original author for over two years. Blogger tends to pull blogs after long periods of inactivity.

Anonymous said...

I'm having my say over here

http://www.fuckermax.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Trying to take over where tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot left off....

http://www.fuckermax.blogspot.com

Cockly McBeefwell said...

Hey guys, as most of you now know, my "Tucker Max is a Douchebag" blog was deleted. I don't know what happened and I just discovered it was gone a few minutes ago. I guess we were really getting to Tucker Max! The fact that he or one of his cronies would push to delete that blog shows just how pathetic he is. He only became moderately famous by posting stories filled with obviously fabricated details about other people on his own website. However, he could not handle any criticism being thrown his way.

I hadn't added any new posts since March 2007, yet he still hated the criticism so much that he had to get this blog deleted. Is there any doubt that Tucker Max is a piece of shit? I hope his crappy movie fails and he is exposed as a fraud.

I had stopped caring about that jackass, but his actions have pissed me off. I might create a new blog to go after him. That little bitch is incapable of handling any criticism.

The only reason I even created that blog in the first place is because I thought he was a liar and blowhard. I didn't care about that guy and didn't even know who he was until I saw reviews of his book on Amazon.com - practically all negative reviews were deleted right away, yet positive reviews written by his friends were allowed to stay. I thought that was outrageous. I also though that his Nazi-like editing of his Wikipedia entry was pathetic.

Cockly McBeefwell said...

I have created a new blog, "Tucker Max Is a Lying Douchebag." The address is http://tuckermaxisadouche.blogspot.com/

I will post all of the old posts from my deleted blog onto this new blog within the next few days.

Anonymous said...

"Tucker didn't pull the blog. The blog hadn't been used by the original author for over two years. Blogger tends to pull blogs after long periods of inactivity.

June 3, 2009 10:11 PM"

Yeah, I'm sure that Blogger pulled a blog that had a post with over 6000 comments and several new comments a day.

Fuck you, Tucker or Tucker fanboy.

Anonymous said...

I worked for producer Elie Samaha and had this project come across my desk sometime last March. This was before they cast the movie and right after Bob Gosse was attached to direct. We (meaning me and my boss) could not believe the project was getting made. In the words of Elie Samaha, it was "the worst script to ever make it this far." Now, this is coming from the producer of Battlefield Earth as well as Ballistic Ecks vs. Sever.

On top of it all, Tucker was obviously full of shit. He stated that he had gotten a number of "A-List" actors who were vying for the role of "Tucker". The funny thing was that at least two of the A-listers he mentioned were also friends of Elie, and when contacted, none of them had even heard of the project, let alone Tucker Max. The other one said he had gotten the script through Bob Gosse, but couldn't make it past the 1st act and declined.

Also, Tucker had mentioned that he had gotten an EIGHT FIGURE OFFER for the script. When this was told to Elie, he laughed and ended the 2nd meeting right then and there. While Elie is not the best producer in the world in terms of quality, he can still smell a con game and this stunk worse than an old dead person who passed away in a closed window apartment for the entire summer.

That's what the word on the streets in LA was about Tucker, he was a modestly successful author who nobody wanted to do business with because he was completely and totally full of shit. It's a shame that Darko bought into the con, but hey, it's their 6 million.

And for the record, FOX Searchlight (where I work now) passed on the project without even viewing it. It never fell under our umbrella of what we do.

In other words, nothing Tucker has said on his message board about this project is remotely true. It's one giant con game.

Anonymous said...

can't be

tucker said 'cough cough fox' as his distributor so it's fox cuz tucker wouldn't lie to us cuz he totally respects us and stuff and he tells us things and it's all true and he respects us for our brains and our good taste cuz we like his art and we're inspired by his inspirational inspiring of telling baout how he fucks fat chicks and thinks how best to insult them two days later so ur just a big fat liar doodoohead cuz tucker tells the truth and tucker's movie is gonna make a hundred million on the first night and beat the dark knight cuz it's just that good and if it doesn't it's because the box offices are lying cuz they're in the pocket of the joos and don't want tucker to lead america to a bright new future of fucking skanky whores

yeah

Nicey said...

I posted on the Tucker message boards yesterday.

Legitimate questions about distribution, the books, some mild criticisms (not Tucker, you're a f***head why don't you die),

I even told him I thought the book was funny for about 50 pages.

But I mentioned FreeStyle Releasing, which is apparently doing the distribution (whose top box office is 16 million....so much for that 20 to 200 million range tucker)

He instantly deleted my post. It's out everywhere that it's not getting good releasing.

Anonymous said...

So, wait, he's not even admitting that it's Freestyle that's doing the distribution?

It's not like this is some big secret, it's right there on their page:
http://www.freestylereleasing.com/library.htm#i

But he doesn't want to admit it?

Anonymous said...

^
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

A guy tries to patch things up with his soon-to-be-married pal after botching things up at his bachelor party. Based on Tucker Max's best-seller "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell". (for more info - click here)

Director: Neil Burger

Starring: Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti, Jessica Biel, Rufus Sewell, Eddie Marsan



Man, the fuckups at Freestyle Releasing couldn't even get the credits right. That's one helluva omen, Tucker.

Anonymous said...

I still think it's cool that he made the movie. I'm not a fanboy or any of that crap, I just think that being a NYT bestseller says a lot.

the way I look at it as an outsider.. You guys said he could write but he did. You said he'd never make a book, not only he did, but NYT. You said his script would tank, well, it sold for six million dollars and was made into a motion picture. Now your trying to call him out on distribution. Guess what, he got that too.

When he and Nils win their Oscar are you going to say, 'ha, they only got one, sheeesh.'

If you put as much work into your hatred as you did something positive like creating art I bet your lives would be better.

Art tells us everything we already know as well as everything we don't know about ourselves.

The good doctor Max took a shot and he made it. BIH is a nice snapshot of the American Dream.

Anonymous said...

^^^

And that, folks, accurately sums up the intelligence of the average Tucker Max fan. Blinders firmly in place so as to ignore the reality that TM is just a snake oil salesman touting a mediocre product as the next coming of Jesus Christ. Nobody questions that TM worked hard and managed to do something very difficult: write a movie and have it actually made. The issue isn't that. TM used to be somewhat self deprecating and willing to reveal his shortcomings. This made him, and by extension his movie, a compelling story. He's now gone off the deep end in terms of recognizing what his film will actually be. Revolutionary? Possible Oscar winner? Really??? Do you think the people who made films like Porkies, American Pie, etc. boasted that their films were something that far removed from what they really are - teen sex and drinking films that are good for a few laughs. Despite repeatedly stating that he'll be honest and post everything good or bad about the movie, he carefully screens and spins everything on his forum to his benefit. A little more honesty when things don't go as planned would give people a reason to root for him instead of against him. No one likes feeling like they've been scammed. And you^^, my ardent TM supporter, are being scammed every time you read and believe his outlandish claims about how big this movie really will be.

Anonymous said...

Exactly. Look back on his posts where he talks about how great Fox is at the slow roll out and generally kissed Fox's ass.

Did you catch it later when Tucker wrote on his site that "he can't tell you who the distributor is (cough...Fox...cough) until he's allowed to."

Try finding any mention of that "cough...Fox...cough" comment on his site now.

Anonymous said...

????

I don't see how I'm being mislead anywhere. Tucker wrote soem funny stories and now theyre going be movie. He's come through on every promise.

He walked away from a legal career. He walked away from top spot in family business. He walked away from a TV deal, and turned down millions for the script from majors, and now he's banking all on himself. That takes balls of steel.

Anonymous said...

I think someone's been drinking the Tucker Max Kool Aid.

Anonymous said...

He didn't "walk away" from a TV deal, it was pulled out from his feet after calling his producer a "cunt". He didn't just burn a bridge with that one, he blew it up.

On top of it all, he most certainly said the "cough FOX cough" remark on his website. Of course FOX and it's affiliates passed on it and now he found a the guys who were part of a failed production company and now release anything (like Uwe Boll movies).

Of course he also said that he had an "Oscar winning director" who wanted to direct his movie, which turned out to be a guy who directed a documentary about the Holocaust (which is totally like Tucker's stories if you ask him).

He also wanted to get bigger stars in his movie, but they all said NO (Ryan Gosling, Michael Pitt), so he invented the story about how the character of Tucker Max is the new James Bond, so they needed an unknown to make. Nothing against Matt Whocry, or the guy who played SlingBlade (who only got the script because he was still in town after filming a MUCH BIGGER MOVIE).

Tucker is toxic. He has nothing left other than the potential success of the movie. What really has been "100% true" about anything he's said?

Nothing. You've been had. You've been hoodwinked. You've been bamboozled.

Anonymous said...

He also didn't walk away from a good job in the family business, he's such an asshat that his father FIRED him.

He didn't walk away from a legal career, he acted like a drunken douche, got dismissed from a large firm and lost all chances of sitting for a state bar since they have a "character and fitness" requirement. He doesn't even have enough character and fitness to be a lawyer.

He hasn't walked away from a traditional life, he acted like an ass an was unapologetic about it and thus lost any chance at having a normal life. It seems to me that his choices are either getting rich and famous from this movie or sucking dick to pay the rent.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, the Fox thing is not being spun as that they're going to have multiple distributorS.

Now, I know nothing about movie distribution and won't pretend to... but why bother with Freestyle's crappy rollout if a big name like Fox Searchlight is on board?

Anonymous said...

[sic] now being spun

Anonymous said...

20th Century Fox is probably distributing the DVD, as they have done with a number of Freestyle Release indies (Bottle Shock, American Haunting, etc..). So technically, if one is going by semantics, Freestyle (theatrical) and Fox (post theatrical) would account for multiple distributors.

Anonymous said...

"Freestyle (theatrical) and Fox (post theatrical)"

That is the deal. The deal Tucker signed with Darko called for a guaranteed theatrical release. That meant that if Darko couldn't find someone to put the film in theaters they would be forced to rent theaters themslves.

They screened the film to several hundred distributors. They all passeed so they went to the next best thing, a do-it-yourself distribution. Like self-publishing, it looks and feels like a real release, but its not.

DVDs cost 25 cents to produce so hopefully Tucker and Nils will see a good chuck of the DVD sales, after of course Darko takes their chunk and recoups costs.

Anonymous said...

Parents lock up YOUR DAUGHTERS!

From Dr. Max' blog here is the schedule for the voyage of beer and debauchery across the USA!

(My school is on there!)

Here is a TENTATIVE list of stops for the tour. This will unquestionably change at least a little bit, so please don't think it's final and start freaking out:

Pre-Tour West Coast Swing:
Aug 6--San Diego
Aug 7--Los Angeles
Aug 8--San Francisco
Aug 9--Seattle

Main Tour:
Aug 18--Athens, GA (UGA)
Aug 19--Atlanta (Ga Tech)
Aug 20--Clemson (Clemson) or Charlotte, NC
Aug 21--Knoxville (UT)
Aug 22--Tuscaloosa (Bama)
Aug 23--Tallahassee (FSU)
Aug 24--Gainesville (UF)
Aug 25--Orlando (CFU)
Aug 26--Travel Day (Orl to RDU, 9 hours)
Aug 27--Raleigh/Durham
Aug 28--Charlottesville (or Blacksburg or Harrisburg)
Aug 29--Washington DC
Aug 30--State College (PSU)
Aug 31--Philadelphia
Sep 1--Piscataway, NJ (Rutgers)
Sep 2--NYC
Sep 3--Boston
Sept 4,5,6,7--Labor Day Break
Sep 8--Toronto, CA
Sep 9--Ann Arbor, MI (UMich)
Sep 10--East Lansing (MSU) or Lexington, KY (UK)
Sep 11--Bloomington (IU)
Sep 12--Chicago
Sep 13--Madison (UWisc)
Sep 14--Minneapolis (UMinn)
Sep 15--Iowa City (UIowa)
Sep 16--Champaign (UI)
Sep 17--Columbia, MO (Mizzu)
Sep 18--Lawrence (KU)
Sep 19--Travel Day [break for Ok/Tulsa game]
Sep 20--Norman (OU)
Sep 21--Dallas
Sep 22--Austin (UT)
Sep 23--College Station (TAMU)
Sep 24--Houston or Baton Rouge, LA (LSU)
Sep 25--Release weekend

By the way, Bill Dawes will be running this ROLLING THUNDER of MADNESS and HIJINKS as MC

All you straight-to-dvd better get ready to eat some crow!

Anonymous said...

^^^ Wait, you mean THE Bill Dawes? Oh, my God! He's SO famous and funny and whatnot! That must be why EVERYONE in the entertainment industry just can't stop talking about this revolutionary tour.

Anonymous said...

You mean Bill Dawes, the lame comedian and Z list actor, whose only claim to fame is that he's friends with fallen star Jamie Kennedy and F-list celebrity Tucker Max?

Anonymous said...

Is Bill Dawes the guy who wrote the "American teacher in Japan" stories?

He was actually pretty funny sometimes. Shame he shackled himself to Tucker. Bigger shame he hasn't had the sense to cut himself loose yet.

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for bringing this to my attention. Many years ago when I got into the whole Tucker craze it all seemed like such a good idea. Of course, I was 16 at the time and perhaps a bit naive. Tucker was'nt as crazy back then either.

It seems that I have fallen victim to the common mistake of sticking to my beliefs about someone, denying reality, just because I wanted to believe what I was told WAS reality. Clearly Tucker is in no way what he makes himself out to be anymore (Perhaps never was), nor is he what he portrays himself to be on the messageboard.

I have spent the last 3 days looking at posts on IMDB, and various blogs, messageboards, and reading on grawper. I am happy to have grown wiser, and snap out of it - since the Tucker movement has evolved into a strange cult. Now it's time to lean back, and watch his little empire implode.

I doubt his movie is going to be even remotely succesful. It will crash and burn, but the question is wether he too will face reality at that point, or simply let his megalomania take over and carry him to new heights further diminishing his already dwindling fanbase.

Anonymous said...

Let's not forget that his NYT bestselling claim to fame is also based upon the fiction that his book is not fiction.

He made the list for softcover non-fiction. If his book were to actually compete with works of fiction and hardcover books, it never would have made the list, at least not for any extended period of time.

Anonymous said...

The Great Otto has some more advice for the masses:

"there is nothing I hate more than people who act entitled to shit that they should be appreciative for. Fuck that"

We have decided to push ourselves to hit 35 cities, which is a HUGE number, (unlike the 50 he originally posted about)

. The exact same movie will out in theaters: It may be a few weeks later, but the movie will be the exact same. Be patient if you can't make it to a premiere. (I'll believe that when I see it)

Nicey said...

"it sold for six million dollars and was made into a motion picture. Now your trying to call him out on distribution. Guess what, he got that too."

No it didn't. His script never got bought. They had to go make the movie themselves.

NIcey said...

"He walked away from a legal career. He walked away from top spot in family business. He walked away from a TV deal, and turned down millions for the script from majors, and now he's banking all on himself. That takes balls of steel."

Lets be clear here. He graduated in 2001...he published the book in 2006...

WTF do you think he was doing for 5 years? That's right. Mooching off friends and his parents. He didn't exactly "walk away" either...he wasn't very good at any of his jobs.

For exactly the reason you like him, he's an a-hole. You can't act that way and be in a professional position.

Nicey said...

"Sep 24--Houston or Baton Rouge, LA (LSU)"

Oh God! Let it be Houston. Please!

Day before opening...I would take a night in jail just to punch Tucker in the throat.

But I would of course Razz him about how unsuccessful he's become (i.e. still living off his parents...yes, it's true, he never made that much money), all his friends have grown up and moved on, yet he's 34, and now known as "who's that creepy old guy in the corner" at college parties.

I will also ask him to sign my copy of "A-holes finish first" oh wait...it's never been published and delayed for 3 years.

Nicey said...

"Parents lock up YOUR DAUGHTERS!"

Yeah, from the 34 year old creep who is desperately trying to hang onto his best years.

Does it ever occur to anyone to think anything about this?

Almost all of his stories are from AFTER he graduated lawschool...that's right, he wasn't even in college. So why do some college kids worship him?

He was telling stories about his 26-30 years...YAAAAWWWWN!

Anonymous said...

I recently sent this to Gawker...dunno if they'll do something with it or not)

I could not find an email to send this, so here it is;


All I really wanted to to was talk MMA with smart people.

I was referred to Rudius media because a friend of mine said there was some really intelligent discourse on MMA there. He was right, it was great. At the time, I was barely aware of who Tucker Max even was.
I work in film and television. Mostly TV, but I know an average amount about development, paydays, attachments and what it takes to get a movie off the ground.

Tucker was asking his cronies what he should put on his website to promote the movie. Being that it's something I know about, I simply said regardless of what he put on there, since it would be fans (and thus, pre-sold tickets) on the site...not general audience.
Long story short; I was almost instantly banned for daring to speak against the genius Tucker. I shit you not.

I emailed the guy. I was pissed. I took it personally. I hadn't yet wrapped my head around how mind-bogglingly delusional and egomaniacal this seemingly run-of-the-mill frat douche really was.

Then, we made a bet. I saved all the emails. I bet him that he'd have a 5 or 6 million dollar opening weekend. His wager; 20-25 million. Tucker believes his movie will open like TROPIC THUNDER (25 million). He bet me a billboard. Of the winner's design.

Also,

His bus tour is most likely a disguise for a rolling release. More importantly, every source available says the Freestyle Releasing is putting his movie into 450 theaters...anthing less than 600 is a limited release. Period.

You can take all this for what it's worth. I assume his toe-smoochers don't bother to check any of the bullshit he tells them. But now that I'm invested...I do.

Mike

PS- let me know if you'd like all the emails.

Anonymous said...

Mike,

Please post the e-mails in their entirety.

Anonymous said...

^^^Dude, would you be willing to share the emails here, or privately to one of this blog's moderators?

Anonymous said...

I can email them to somebody if you like.

I didn't think posting them in the comments section would be the best?

iamknot(at)hotmail.com if you would like me to forward them to you.

Mike

Barry Bater said...

Mike, this is Barry Bater, one of the blog moderators. Would you email these to me at barrybater2001@yahoo.com?

Thanks so much in advance!

Anonymous said...

On Feb 11, 2008 9:43 PM, Mr. X wrote:

You'll probably dismiss this out of hand as well, but
I'm certainly not going to let you have the last word just because your lackeys have convinced you that everything that erupts from that puckering maw on the front of your face is spun fucking gold.
I don't give a fuck who you are, or where you came from, or who you've fucked...you're wrong about this.
You said I sound like the people that told you only your fans would read your book. I never said that.
I said, over and fucking over, that a website isn't going to drive -more- people to your movie than would already go. No online marketing campaign (including the one you haven't heard of, which invented viral marketing for film online) has made a significant difference in box office. That's a fact, as different as I wish it was.
You said yourself when your book came out more people discovered you. How the fuck did that happen? Did you make a website to promote the book? That would have been brilliant, according to you. No, you were on TV a million times, you did radio tours, and you promoted your book. A website is one tiny piece of all that, and most PR firms will tell you that you could light the website on fucking fire as long as you're on TV.
If you can't separate what I'm trying to tell you (and, in the long run, help) from a personal attack, your man-child bit is less of an act than I thought.

Mr. X

PS- I'll make my prediction now: If your movie gets made for say 8-12 million with mid-level names, is well-promoted and you get into more than 1200 theaters or so, you'll open in the 8-10 range, and finish with about 30 million.

Anonymous said...

Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 21:53:34 -0800
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website


Movie budget is 6 million. There are two leads (Tucker and Aaron) and they will be played by nobodies. The two main supporting roles will probably by nobodies as well, though we may get mid level names. I am guessing we open at 20-25 million, and North American gross will end up slightly over 100 million total. About the same as Juno, give or take.
What do you want to bet? Name it, but make it worth my while. I don't play around with piddly shit.
And beyond that, you are COMPLETELY missing the point of the movie website, and what I am going to accomplish by it. It's comical really. You even make my point for me in your email, yet you don't see it.
I love people like you. It's because of people like you that I am going to totally disrupt the entertainment business. You people--pretty much everyone in the entertainment business--have no ability to see anything other than what already exists. It's awesome. So much opportunity out there because of you people.

Anonymous said...

On Feb 11, 2008 10:48 PM, Mr. X wrote:

I'll think on the bet for a day, I agree it should be good. As for the other, what am I missing? I -worked on- the first big viral ad campaign for a movie.

http://www.marketleap.com/report/ml_report_23.htm

Certain mechanisms in this industry don't change for a reason. Hollywood still won't admit it can't market past opening weekend for example...word of mouth is still the most powerful tool, after 80 years. As far as "people like me"...that's sort of laughable, I agree. So what's your master plan? My first question was how a website will expand your base audience for a movie, and you never answered it. One of your goons said I was thinking short term. Past the 70/30 split in the theater then their cut of the DVD's, a studio doesn't really care what happens with your movie, there isn't anything after the money is made. I wasn't allowed to respond to Bunny's assertion that SNAKES ON A PLANE was made by the internet. That movie is the Golden Goose of my whole argument...it TANKED next to what they anticipated based on teh interwebs "buzz". And as far as vision goes, my projects may or may not get made but I get every meeting based on originality of concept. I guess my last question is this; If you have a Master Plan for the greatest and most clever movie website integration that the world has ever seen...why are you asking your forum nerds what should be on it?

Mr. X

Anonymous said...

Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:58:46 -0800
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

You like making assumptions, don't you? Who said this was a studio movie? Who said I wanted the website to bring people to the movie? Who said I am asking my goons what should be on it, especially when I already know whats going to be on it? Once again, you are thinking only in terms of what has been done, and not what can be done. Just come up with something worth betting. Though, ultimately, it won't matter. The only bet that matters is the movie itself, and how well it does. I am already betting my entire career on it. It'll either succeed wildly, and you and the Hollywood establishment people like you will do exactly what the publishing people have done--try to copy me--or it'll fail badly and my ideas will be proven wrong and everyone will ignore me.

Anonymous said...

On Tue, Feb 12, 2008 at 11:34 AM, Mr. X
wrote:

The bet:

I've come up with a couple things.

First, the loser is the other person's personal assistant for two weeks. Laundry, schedule, messages, hell, even groceries. It may seem pedestrian, but I'm -certain- it would kill either one of us to be running errands like that. Or if you'd rather it be an item, I'm guessing I can't compete with your money. I do have a sealed bottle of Schenley OFC bottled in 1955 that my grandfather won from Waylon Jennings in a pool game. While I don't think it's worth more than $50, it means a lot to me. That would be considerable risk on my part.

What are the cut-offs? My estimate was opening at 8-10 and finishing with about 30, and you say 20-25 opening weekend and finish at around 100. Is the victor only "correct" at plus or minus 20 percent of his original prediction?


Mr. X

Anonymous said...

Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2008 13:00:38 -0800


From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

I already have a personal assistant. And I may hate you in person, the last thing I want is you fucking with my shit. A good idea, but not feasible.

I agree about it not being a money based thing--there's no point to that.



On Feb 18, 2008 9:54 PM, Mr. X wrote:

The loser buys a billboard on Sunset of the winner's design. It runs for a month.

Mr. X

Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 21:56:32 -0800


From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

Dude--do you know how much those cost? Between 250 and 500k.


On Feb 18, 2008 10:44 PM, Mr. X wrote:

Sunset may be a bad choice. I would have guessed 5%-8% of that, although I know the guy that made THE ROOM is able to afford one on Highland near Sunset for months on end.

If we can find a good location for 10 grand or so, what do you think about the idea?


Mr. X


Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 22:47:56 -0800


From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

If you can afford it, I am in.


On Feb 18, 2008 11:06 PM, Mr. X wrote:

It would hurt, but it wouldn't ruin me. Are the numbers I mentioned below the targets? Within plus or minus 20 percent, or it's a no-win. Additionally, we're only talking about first-run gross domestic box office, not second run or international, is that correct?


Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 23:07:13 -0800
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

Both sound good to me.

Anonymous said...

On Mon, Jul 7, 2008 at 3:15 PM, Mr. X wrote:

Hey,

I hope the shoot is going well.

How's securing distribution going?

Mr. X


Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2008 15:25:11 -0500
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

They're lined up. It's just a matter of who will give us the deal we want.


On Thu, Jul 31, 2008 at 1:10 AM, Mr. X wrote:
Hey,

I'm asking this is all seriousness and I'm not trying to challenge you but I've got to know;

Why did you say somebody offered you a eight figure deal for the script and rights?

That's double the largest -real- offer for a script, well...ever. I know the goons don't know any better but anyone that's in a tracking group, or even a
reader knows that's a fairytale.

After all our back and forth, I still want your movie to do well... but eight figures? You might as well tell me your dad can bench-press a horse.

Anyway, a former co-worker of mine just read IHTSBIH and she said it was funny. She thinks if you do mad press the week prior to release, and come
out maybe in the fall as an option to all the slasher flicks during Halloween, you could open at 6 or 7 million.

Wishing you better distribution that SOUTHLAND TALES,

Mr. X


Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:45:44 -0500
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

Do you know what an overall deal is? I had pretty serious discussions with a studio to sell this script, and pen all three sequels, and get an overall deal, and the numbers thrown out were in the eight figures.

Your friend is an idiot. Like everyone else in Hollywood.


On Tue, Aug 5, 2008 at 1:55 PM, Mr. X wrote:

No Tucker, I have -no- idea what an overall deal it.

But I do know what gap financing and soft money rebates are. I'm sure they're terms you're very familiar with yourself these days.

Oh, and somebody sent me this;

Even Tucker Max disavowed the $10,000,000+ for his script. Here's what he wrote:

Originally Posted by The_OJ_Simpsons
Eight figures? Were both of your souls included in the deal?

Tucker Max replies:
It would take 10,000 words to do the full history. Let me sum it up quickly:

-We had several hard seven figure offers that we could have taken. Low seven figures, but still enoughto make both Nils and I millionaires.

-There were other offers tossed off about other things that reached into the eight figures, but it waspretty much Hollywood bullshit. Not real, "hard" offers. If you know Hollywood, you can guess what itwould take to get into eight figure offers, and what they really mean.


When they ban you from post, you can blame a 40-theater release on them, so you can still be the smartest guy in the history of ever to teach Hollywood a big lesson.

SOUTHLAND TALES is starting to look ambitious....

Mr. X


Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2008 13:57:55 -0500
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website

It must really suck to watch me succeed where you've failed.

You know whats funny is that if you put the immense emotional effort
you've dedicated to me into something productive for youself, you
might not be such a failure.

Anonymous said...

From: Mr. X@hotmail.com
To: tuckermax@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Movie Website
Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2008 21:17:23 +0000


:)

You've made me so happy, I could just cry.

Dude, you could live a thousand years and fuck a thousand supermodels, or die tomorrow. I don't care which.

I don't brag about my shit until it's -done-. We've got projects in the pipe. Maybe one will go, maybe it won't. I'm not breaking out the party hats and giving myself a blowjob until the thing is distributed or sold because, unlike you, this isn't my first rodeo.

There's no denying there are plenty of morons running around town, but I get the impression you think -everyone- is stupid, incompetent, etc. etc. That's simply not the case.

For Christ's sake, if every person is a complete spaz, how is your movie getting shot? Isn't the DP a clueless fuckhound? How are you going to single-handedly market the movie since the Hollywood machine couldn't market ice in the desert?

In other words, if every single person involved with this product is an ignorant ball of fuck except you, how could it possibly succeed?

If you ignore the whole email, riddle me that last one Tucker Max.

Mr. X

Anonymous said...

On Wed, Dec 10, 2008 at 12:20 PM, Mr. X

Mr. X@hotmail.com wrote:
Hey there,

I've heard your screenings are going fantastic. Congrats on that.

Has anything during the distribution process made you re-think your projection?

"I am guessing we open at 20-25 million, and North American gross will end up slightly over 100 million total. About the same as Juno, give or take."

By the way, our movie was announced in Variety a couple weeks ago. Nothing big, about ten sentences. We should be shooting in Feb, if everything continues to go well.

-
Mr. X


Date: Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:22:50 -0800
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: projections

We're going to do way more. It may not open more, but it will do more
in the end. Big numbers, I think. We'll see.


From: Mr. X@hotmail.com
To: tuckermax@gmail.com
Subject: RE: projections
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:27:48 +0000

Hey there,

I went back and checked the original parameters of our wager. You need to open at 20-25 million in order to win.
Since you're opening on 450 screens, that's a per-screen average of over $45,000/screen.

Not that it's impossible, but it's three and four times higher than wildly successful movies in limited release.

Again, I -still- think you're going to be really rich when this is all said and done, just not the numbers we bet on.

Also,...people are telling me you said Fox is your distributor? I haven't looked, but why would you say that? Freestyle is already all over the trades...?

Anywho, best of luck on your bus tour. Excellent William Castle trick.


[He did not reply to this....(and I know he doesn't know who William Castle is....)]

Mr. X

Anonymous said...

These emails pretty much sum up the Tucker Max experience:

Ban

Berate

Belittle

Bemused

Befuddled

Bow out

Nicey said...

Wow Mr. X...bleeping awesome.

"What do you want to bet? Name it, but make it worth my while. I don't play around with piddly shit."

He does not make bank. Tucker has no money. I've analzyed this. His website traffic is extremely low (you can see this on the radius board in his section, hardly anyone posts in the tucker max sessions)

He sold 400k copies of a first time book, which he did not get a good sharing deal on at all.

I'd say you were being WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY too generous at 6-7 million open. It's being released Sept 25th, no college movie has ever been successful in the fall, not ever.

I think Sydney White is the most successful open in the fall, at 6.1 million, it also opened on like 3000 screens. That was 2,000 per screen, which is fairly typical for a new release that is not that strong.

At 450-500 screens, it will open maybe a million. Word of mouth is what sold his book, but movies are way different, word of mouth can't get back earnings lost from not opening on the maximum screen count.

I read he said he thought the movie could do anywhere between 20 million or as high as 200 million, he even specifically implied he could beat superbad (which would mean around 200 million)

I have a feeling that this movie may be the end of his little fantasy actually. He's not a talented writer, he can't act, he's actually quite timid (if you've ever seen the Youtube vids from the radio, the Ohio state protest, etc he stammers, and can't speak) I see no other choice but for him to

a) Return to living off his dad in Florida
or b) Trying to get on as a Lawyer, which I think would be hilarious for many reasons. 1) Because it's the ultimate insult to him and 2) Because it will be near impossible because he's pretty much been outlawed by the legal community

Anonymous said...

Good luck with both your projects and wager Mr. X, though I doubt you'll need any luck on the latter.

With a release of 450 to 500 screens, I'd guestimate a $2 million opening weekend, but then I'm not as well versed in the industry. I'm just someone with a heavy background in financial analysis. I have to admit I wasn't aware of Sydney White; I was just using common sense. I don't think a September release is wise for a film within the "college hijinks" genre, as September is a time when students are more interested in fraternity or sorority rush week, or other campus community oriented events. That's really his target audience, as much as Max enjoys belittling them. What he needs is a Thanksgiving release, but obviously distributors didn't believe in the film's potential.

Anonymous said...

His website traffic is extremely low


One of my friends runs a sports-oriented message board that probably mirrors the demographics of TMMB; it also has very similar traffic (it is now slightly more popular than TMMB).

There is no way Tucker is making money from advertisements. My friend had to solicit donations (T shirt sales) from his user base, as the site didn't even generate enough ad revenue to cover a server upgrade.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the well-wishes!

Now that I know he didn't get wide distribution (and thus, the P&A buget of a studio behind his release) I agree that 6-7 million is very generous.

While I was taking his BS with a full shaker of salt, his budget was more or less public, and I assumed Darko has secured some level of distribution interest early on. It's possible they had, and after the screenings, it all went away.

His college tours won't help his opening weekend, but actually detract some guaranteed sales from that crucial first 3-days.

He would have been better off with more TV spots 1 week out from release, a publicity stunt and a Late Night plug on Jimmy Fallon, if he could get it.

At 450 theaters, yes...I think he should be thrilled with 3.5 million.

Mr. X

Anonymous said...

At 450 theaters I'm betting it doesn't make 500K. Here's why.

- No actors of note in the movie.
- Based on a bad script.
- Unlike his book, this piece of work will be reviewed by many reviewers. I can't see reviewers connecting with this film, which will give it poor grades overall (which does drive box office).
- Limited market, the frat boy hero just isn't a winning character.
- No real marketing besides Tucker himself, which could turn out to be poison.

There's more, but overall I'd say those are the important factors.

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Underdog said...

The guy obviously got your attention and you have to give him credit for turning a blog in to a book and a movie deal

To see some other idiots failures... http://www.underdogdirectory.com/blunderdogs-epic-fail.html

Anonymous said...

http://www.underdogdirectory.com/blunderdogs-epic-fail.html

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Anonymous said...

Hey Sammie, whatever dude?!?

Eesti said...

This book is comical. It is funny to read about the events that Tucker did. This is a book that I will read a couple of chapters in, bookmark, read something else and come back and read a few more chapters for entertainment.

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