Monday, March 15, 2010

Hey!

Remember Tucker Max?


lol.

56 comments:

You suck said...

AHHAHAHAHAHAHA....Oh man. That was such a good one. You RULE! Hey, remember what a pussy looks like? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Wasn't Tucker at the Oscars? Didn't Bunny and someone else say Tucker would win an Oscar? Or at least be nominated? And is Nils fat?

Cloud Stormchaser said...

Hey, Tucker couldn't get arrested in Hollywood.


Unlike me.


http://gothamist.com/2010/03/19/man_obsessed_with_ivanka_trump_arre.php

The Deconstruction Guy said...

Hey, didn't you used to be Tucker Max?

Fat said...

I used to be Nils Parker. Well not really. Still am.

Anonymous said...

lol

Anonymous said...

Now here's where Tucker fucked up. Hi smovie was perfect ... timing and format all wrong though. He shoudl have filmed IHTSBIH in 3-D. That way the shit scence could have been in 3-d ... the audience would have felt like the shit was coming right at them.

It would have changed the way shit scences were shown and marketed FOREVER!

And imagine how fat Nils would be in 3-D.

Anonymous said...

Someone just posted the video of Tucker Max and Cloud Starchaser arguing outside of the bar from years ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1NWe48BqrM

Interesting how in the news report Tucker Max claims Cloud showed up randomly uninvited and was thrown out of the bar but it's clear from the video he knew he was coming since they were arguing about the bet contract and he never even goes in the bar at all.

Anonymous said...

I'd really like to hear an inside account of what happened at RMMB.

I know the Dunce blog or whatever talked about it a little but a first hand account would be really nice.

It's strange though that none of the old writers will talk about it. I mean, they have to hate Tucker at this point, right?

Barry Bater said...

I like the part where Tucker fails and the haters win. That's my favorite part.

J D Shapiro said...

I just watched the movie IHTSBIH last week.

I now hate Tucker, because I can no longer truthfully say "Because out of all the sucky movies, mine is the suckiest."

Damn you Tucker Max. Dam you to hell.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0788526/

wsxwhx685 said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

Tucker Max said...

You fucking monkeys have no idea what you're talking about. This is SO comical on so many levels. If you had any sense at all you would understand the genius of our marketing plan. It is all coming together.

The movie and the DVD were just BETA versions that were *cough cough* leaked. The REAL movie and DVD are going to be released soon and then you will see. Fucking crossbow ranges and jets. Rudius Air baby.

Do not fucking e-mail about this people.

Tim said...

http://www.gay2day.org/blogpics/15101_blogpost_1194134910250_gilberto10.jpg

Tucker Max said...

Here is the Publishers Weekly announcement (it's a little down the page).

So that's the official news, here is what they are not telling you:

The advance for Assholes Finish First is the largest advance ever given to a blogger for a single book: $300,000.

[Note: I am 99% sure of it being the largest single book advance ever given to a blogger, and I did search high and low for confirmation, but I may be wrong. If I am, please email me and tell me, I don't want to claim something that isn't true. EDIT: There are conflicting reports on this because lots of publishers don't release info on advances--like mine for instance--but Julie Powell's deal may have been for $400,000, or less depending on who you ask. And it may or may not have been a two book deal, of which there are several larger than my ONE book deal.]

I also think that I am the first blogger to ever sign a second book deal (though again, I am not 100% sure) [EDIT: I was way wrong on this. There have been a bunch that have signed second deals. I just didn't know about them]. Why is this? Well, this article does a pretty good job explaining why. [Fun fact: According to BookScan, my book has by itself outsold all the books listed on that Boston Herald piece--Straight Up and Dirty, Washingtonniene, Dog Days, and Anonymous Lawyer--PUT TOGETHER. (So has Maddox's, as he just spent 15 fucking weeks on the NY Times Best Seller List, which is awesome)What is more awesome is Maddox is obviously joking when he says that he is ruling all media, realizes that he's run out of ideas and is generally not as much of a raging bag of douche as I am. And Maddox isn't making a movie that we change all the rules as we know them.]

-The book is slated to come out January 2008, but I am going to try to get it done and out before then. By "before then" I mean more than two years and counting after January 2008.

-The book will be about 20 stories, all of them brand new and never before published. Plus, there are going to be two appendixes at the end that will be shockingly awesome. Just wait and see.

-Yes, this does mean that I won't be publishing much new material on my site for the next year. But I am not going to leave you hanging: I like to get feedback from my readers, so what I am going to do is provide an email list you can sign-up for and get rough draft previews of the stories. Go here and enter a valid email address, and at some point over the next six months you may receive an email from me with the rough draft of one of my new stories from Assholes Finish First. I'll provide instructions in the email, and all I ask is that you give me some feedback. I did something this with my last book and it worked great, except last time I charged people to see the rough drafts which I am NOT going to do this time. I was poor as shit when I was writing my last book, but I think I am doing OK now. Yeah, so you no longer have to pay me to edit my book. Also note, no leaks of the book. That's because I haven't finished a single story yet.

NOTE: The mailserver is getting hammered right now, so if your email address doesn't go through, try again later. Sorry about this, my tech guy is doing his best, it'll be working smoothly soon.

EDIT: Media Bistro doesn't seem to know the difference between one book deals and two book deals.

EDIT: Do not e-mail me about this people.

Anonymous said...

TuckerMax: Tiger Woods admitted to cheating with 121 women. 121 in 5 YEARS? Amateur. If you need lessons Tiger, I'll he happy to help.
27 days ago

Talk about weak, and frankly... creepy.

Anonymous said...

They caught Joran van der Sloot. He learned everything he knows from Tucker.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. Guess whose back? Like the last two years of FAIL didn't even occur, he's now updating tuckermax.com re AFF release.

Still a raging douchebag.

Anonymous said...

I happen to have met/know Tucker and Nils. I actually saw part of the mess that they called a screenwriting. As for Rudius Media that was going to be an "empire," what a joke. Empire of napoleon syndrome guys (except for fat Nils who has the syndrome, but is not small) that were beaten by bullies as young children maybe.

Anonymous said...

wow... were they as lame as they seem? They seem like they're butt fucking each other when you watch their commenaries. I take it Nils is the bear??? Oscars, 200 mil, largest book advance ever???? Where does this shit come from? Well, I think we know.

Anonymous said...

Funny that his girlfriend of 8 months left him for Ian Ziering after "nonchalantly hanging out at the Roosevelt pool by herself reading a book on Labor Day wknd???" Yeah right.... nonchalantly looking for what she got...

Anonymous said...

Blogger has finally acted and shut down doucebagblog. 10K comments is now the maximum for a given thread. NONE SHALL EVER AGAIN REACH THE MAJESTY AND GLORY OF DOUCEBAGBLOGTHREAD

Still, it's too bad. There was some decent stuff in the last 6000 comments that have gotten truncated. Lots of bridscratch spam, but some decent commentary too.

oh well. quotabletuckermax, etc

Anonymous said...

@June 10 8:22
"Where does this shit come from?"

IT COMES FROM TUCKER'S BUTT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Wow a blog site dedicated to talk smack about a blogger. You sad souls need a life.

Hahaha go out and get laid! Don't be scared, sex with a female can be quite exhilarating. You should try it sometime, Light.

Anonymous said...

HI TUCKER!

Good to see you're still reading da haterz ... WE ARE YOUR BIGGEST FANS!

Anonymous said...

C'mon all you tucker max douchebags.

C'mon.

You called down the thunder.

And now all you pussies are running.

Running on back to burrow your heads in Tucker's VIACOM mantits--to cuck that VIACOM cash--as your mothers were Bunny whores with cum all over theirs.

C'mom. C'mon. C'mon!

Anonymous said...

So... the old Douchebag site has a final comment count of 16,831. Evidently, Blogger stops taking comments at 16,831. That number totally makes sense, and is an altogether logical place to stop taking comments.

In other news, Tucker Max is a liar and a douchebag. Nils, on the other hand, is a fatass and a douchebag. Ryan Holiday is just a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

Actually it stops taking comments at 10,000 now. For about a day the last 6000 or so comments were invisible. Then Blogger fixed it so we could see them again.

I think our superthread single-handedly caused Blogger to make these changes. Yay us!

I say this is the new superthread. Except that it won't be, because Tucker is out of steam. There is hardly anything left to ridicule.

Anonymous said...

Where is Ryan Holiday these days anyway?

I admit: when Tucker posted his job ad for his assistant, I actually considered it. In my defense, I was unemployed at the time.

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

this is a repeat story and...oh, ah well, you all know the drill.

HI MY NAME IS BIFF said...

HAY I CAN RITE A BOOK 2 OK?????IT WILL B A GOOD BOOK

- BIFF!!!

Anonymous said...

DIE, FOUL HERETIC SCUM! FOR THE EMPEROR!!

Anonymous said...

Just think - the Tucker Max movie came out almost one year ago.

We haven't heard much from him during the past year.

His 15 minutes are up.

Anonymous said...

http://tuckerisgod.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=zuEmcSsBAAA._j9ieUaQ4wNWPfL8EgYAPw.jbSgXOBeADOB42FTx17CbQ&postId=5306711428701714441&type=POST

Jonimarie said...

Really?!!! The guy wrote two books and a movie. It isnt like he is running for effing president. Is it really necessary to start a hate blog on him? Either you like him or you don't. Either way grow up and move on. Suggestion: why not start a blog on Sarah Palin...waaayyyyy more material there!!!!

Anonymous said...

Masters & Cole WILL

Your seed at B-dubs

TJC ruined by thee

A. Hardt

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