Friday, January 7, 2011

IMDB: 1, Tucker Max : 0

The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) discussion board for Tucker's horrible failure of a movie is a terrific spot for Tucker's related humor. Not only is that board almost completely dominated by those of us who recognize that Tucker is a huge joke and a piece of garbage cloaked in human flesh, but it's also a great place to observe the last remnants of Tucker's tiny fanbase being routinely abused by people with brains. If you've not checked it out, do so:

IMDB discussion board for 'I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell'

Today, I want to repost an entry that was posted to the IDMB board this morning, because it's the single most accurate and insightful discussion of the 'phenomenon' of Tucker Max that I've yet read. The author goes by the name 'favabeansandanicechianti' on IMDB, and he or she deserves a tip-of-the-hat for this piece. It's a bit longer than most of the entries on this blog, but it's well worth reading. Enjoy it!

His Recommended books: an insight into Tucker's world-view
By favabeansandanicechianti

When I first discovered Tucker Max in late 2005 at the age of 21, I was drawn to what I thought was a fascinating and complex contrarian, a subversive iconoclast and maverick, an eccentric and creative person living authentically and on his own terms. A sort of modern-day Lord Byron. I didn’t think there were people like that still out there living in the world, and I was really intrigued by the persona that I wanted to believe was true of the person. Also, being a college student I was of course awed by his supposed wild antics, drinking prowess, and sexual conquests.

As the past five years went by and my own outlook on life matured-- all the while occasionally following his site, his movie blog, and his words and actions surrounding the movie and its promotion-- I realized that I had seen a certain early clue as to what his primary motivation and world-view had either become or always had been.

That early clue was an annotated list of books on his website which he cited as the biggest influences on his writing, thinking and how he lived his life. The list included “Sperm Wars,” “The Red Queen”, and “The 48 Laws of Power”. Actually, that third book may not have been on the list, but I know based on his message board posts that he was very into that book and the writings and philosophy of its author Robert Greene (who was also a featured blogger on the short-lived Rudius Media blogging network). These books are all great and I would encourage anyone to read them; they are truly eye-opening and will give you a lot to think about. They also provide insightful context for what most people who’ve followed him over the years now realize about how Tucker’s mind works.

(The list is still on his site at it has changed over the years, removing "The Red Queen" and others while adding some new ones.)

Taken together, the world-view that emerges from these three books is that life is an amoral, opportunistic, anything-goes power-struggle to gain as much status (wealth/resources/power/fame) as you can (as a male) in order to have as much reproductive access to women as you can get. The “game of life” is won by males who successfully pursue their two purposes in life: (1) acquire status and resources in order to attract women; and (2) achieve reproductive success (ideally with many different attractive women). Think Donald Trump, Hugh Hefner, Tiger Woods, etc.

Over the years, I think that Tucker became increasingly obsessed with this idea of being an “alpha male,” with always pushing to advance his status in order to get as many women as possible. He may have started out in his late 20s caring about the craft of writing, wanting simply to be a great writer, the next John Kenney Toole(!), and wanting to live the renegade bohemian life that many young men (and women) seem to romanticize. His big message in the early years from 2005-2009 was that the drinking and partying and screwing weren’t really the reason for his appeal; rather, it was that he was someone who had done everything by the books (University of Chicago undergrad and Duke Law School), but then had decided to give it all up in order “to be true to himself,” opting instead to pursue his real passion for writing, fight the man and "live on his own terms."

(Personally I think that this was always BS and he knew it, trying to intellectualize what was nothing more than a lucky break into publishing a few sensationalistic sex-and-beer stories that he wrote for a quick shot at fame and a quick buck. But this is just a classic example among countless cases of Tucker “re-framing” reality with his own spin. He somehow was such a screw-up that he got fired three weeks into his 2L summer job for acting up, something that is basically unheard of in the legal profession and would have seriously damaged if not altogether torpedoed his legal career. But Tucker always finds a way to “own” his failures and claim that they are really somehow “successes”. It’s quite astounding how brazenly he does it, really.)

At any rate, by his early 30s—as happens to many men—he started to realize that his whole rebel-writer-who-tells-poopy-joke shtick has an inherently short shelf life and doesn’t mean *beep* in the real world. He probably saw all his former classmate at Duke Law—you know, the ones who actually went to class—driving Porsches (meanwhile he had a crappy tiny apartment in Chicago/NYC and then an even tinier crappy apartment with roommates in LA). He certainly would have looked around in LA while producing his movie and realized that funny stories and acting cocky-funny may get you laid with 7s and 8s one weekend at a time, but if you really want to bring home the big game (the 10s, the models and actresses), you need to grow up and start gaining some serious status and making some serious bucks (i.e. build up a Rudius Media Empire). On some level he decided (although maybe this was really the sole goal all along) that the single most important thing in his life was to live up to his “I’m an alpha male” mantra and aggressively pursue status/wealth/power/fame. That’s when all his talk started about taking over the world with his Rudius Media Empire (a major independent film studio like Lionsgate! Crossbow ranges! Private jets!). Sadly for him, after reaching the highest he fell the furthest and hardest.

I don’t think he has yet learned the humility required to dust himself off, admit he failed abysmally, learn from it, and try again. I don’t think he ever will. I think he will take the easy way out, which is to live indefinitely in denial that he did anything wrong. He will probably follow A$$holes Finish First with one more book he promised over the last year or two (Hilarity Ensues?)-- IF he's able to get that published, and that's a big if-- and maybe a "tell-all" book about the movie (a "cautionary tale for indie filmmakers"?) -- and will do a few more speaking tours with na├»ve 21-year-olds before his dwindling D-list web-celebrity and the IHTSBIH book sales have flat-lined by late 2011, and then… I just don't see him ever being able to work in film again as a producer after losing 10 million on his debut-- at least, not with anyone else's money. He might be able to find some work as a TV show comedy writer in Austin or back in NYC (not possible in LA after pulling a Troy Duffy and burning every possible bridge)-- but if there's anything he's proved all these years it's that he's incapable of working FOR anyone else, and has an extremely difficult time working WITH anyone else, so I don't really see that playing out unless he evolves.

In any case, I just don’t see him ever really being heard of again (at least, not in any productive, significant way), because that would require him to admit how much he’s screwed up and screwed people over before moving on. He would rather spend the rest of his 30s and all of his 40s sitting in bars in Austin telling impressionable Texas college girls that he is “a New York Times bestselling author Duke Law grad with a movie about his life,” buying them a couple beers and then taking them back to his *beep* little apartment for a sloppy night with "the jackhammer". Rinse, repeat. Getting a creepy reputation? Start frequenting a different bar. While a pitiably empty way to live out your life, it’s an easy-out. But of course that's speculation, who knows? I'd say everyone deserves a second chance, but there are exceptions to every aphorism, and in this case Tucker Max is probably it.


Anonymous said...

I've gone to a bunch of bars in Austin and NEVER seen him at any of them. I do know that he had a book launch party at the Kung-Fu Saloon in town but was out of town that day so I can't verify if it happened.

Anonymous said...

need moar POAST

Anonymous said...

Brilliantly insightful.

Anonynonynonydouce said...

It doesn't address one minor matter that still needs some clearing up though;

Is Nils fat?

Anonymous said...

^^^ I think I heard somewhere that he is.

Anonymous said...

I hate Tucker as much as the next guy, but whoever wrote that IMDB post has way too much spare time.

Anonymous said...

Assholes Finish First isn't on the extended (top 35) non-fiction sellers list at

IHTSBIH is still there at 17.

At this rate I wonder if anyone's even going to notice or care when HE is released??

There's no more blog/message board/anything to advertise it.

Anonymous said...


High Explosive?
Hung Eddy?
Huge Extrovert?
How Enervating?
Happy Ene... no you know what I'm going to just stop there

Anonymous said...

The IMDB poster left a lot of key details out, aside from the fact that Nils is fat. First, the concept of a 40something chick magnet/writer with the perfect quip to any poser is already being sold and televised as Californication. Given that Tucker is approaching that demographic, there is really very little tale left to be told in this genre. The 30something guy-buddy womanizing story has been done and overdone with Entourage, so there is not much milk left to that old cow either. His homage to the fun loving grad/law school days bombed on film in glorious style. There is just nothing new, fresh or daring about our hero-Tucker. It's a bit like walking into the college bar the next day in the light of day and watching the middle age slightly balding day manager mop up the puke and urine while regaling you with tales of fun and debauchery from the night before. Now, I'm sure there is a fake military guy with a gmail account out there who can say differently, but I'm just not seeing much of an audience anymore.

Anonymous said...

Aren't you contributing to his fame by making a blog about him? You sound like a jilted fan

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max was never going to be anything more than a brief flash in the pan success only because blogs were shooting up in popularity at the time with every idiot and retard having their own Xanga/Blogspot. The idea of being an upper middle class fuckup who pretends he is being real was done to death. The only twist was that it was online. He's just a blog predecessor to the losers who have been spamming on Youtube for the past few years.

Tucker Max grossly miscalculated how fickle loser teenagers and fratboys can be. Everything since 2006 has been a delusional desperate grasp for relevance as his fan base moved onto Tay Zonday. Unfortunately for Tucker, in that flash in the pan success, he roped in a bunch of losers with no self worth (see: KungFu Mike) who kept Max in a bubble. They all bail out because even they know that Tucker Max is a fucking failure and staying with him increases the chance that they too will be nothing more than a failure.

Max's movie bombed because he hasn't been relevant for years. He just had a group of delusional message board fellators who were too scared to tell him that he was a nobody. AFF bombing like it has just confirms what we all knew since 2007. Hilarity Ensues won't be doing anything either for that very same reason.

The future of Tucker Max is just slumming from shitty apartment to shitty apartment, sponging off of his more successful friends who secretly hate him. He will keep writing the occasional book because he feels that another 15 minutes is overdue. He'll have a tiny group of online male groupies who will pretend that he is the 21st century HST and that the world is just too feminist/fascist/PC/etc. for someone like Tucker Max.

As Anonymous 11:19 AM pointed out, there is always something about a boozy writer/entertainer in their middle ages and there has been for decades. Tucker never did anything original, he was just the right person at the right time. If it was at any point in time by even a couple of years, it never would have went anywhere - Tucker just would have been some bartender or a retail shift supervisor.

Anonymous said...

"Tucker Max grossly miscalculated how fickle loser teenagers and fratboys can be. Everything since 2006 has been a delusional desperate grasp for relevance as his fan base moved onto Tay Zonday. Unfortunately for Tucker, in that flash in the pan success, he roped in a bunch of losers with no self worth (see: KungFu Mike) who kept Max in a bubble. They all bail out because even they know that Tucker Max is a fucking failure and staying with him increases the chance that they too will be nothing more than a failure."
Tucker's situation is its own special form of hell. He is just successful enough peddling poopie store is to the next generation of college kids that he constantly thinks that maybe he will still hit the big time. It's that tantalizing view of greatness that will always elude him that puts a unique spin on his situation. Doing a book signing at a college bookstore in front of 50 kids has got to be pretty demoralizing. You're just relevant enough to think that maybe you have a shot at real success but not relevant enough to make any real money or live well. You fuck the same mindless college fame whores, and any real successful woman thinks you are a Charlie Sheen wannabe.

Anonymous said...

^^^ Wow, you nailed it. You pretty much described what I imagine Tucker's life must be like. That's fucking depressing, man, for real. That might have been a cool place to be in for a little while if I was 23 or something, but that's the SUM TOTAL of everything Max has done in his life. Fucking depressing. you almost have to admire him for finding the mental strength to pretend to be proud and satisfied with his life. Almost.

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for the future Mrs. Max. Narcissism is not an attractive quality in a husband. Especially not if you get sick after marriage. I'm still hot and I have income but I can't run with the pack after being diagnosed with a chronic disease.

Even if the future Mrs. Max stays hot and healthy, raising kids is just as time consuming and difficult as you have heard and.....demands complete unselfishness.

Anonymous said...

Yes, saar.

Anonymous said...

"Tucker's situation is its own special form of hell. He is just successful enough peddling poopie store is to the next generation of college kids that he constantly thinks that maybe he will still hit the big time."

Tucker's Alaska recent Alaska trip he just bragged about is Exhibit 1. Tucker travels to a remote part of Alaska to glam onto the fame of a few reality TV stars. So, he is the guy . . . who knows the guy . . . who is on reality TV on a cable network. How is this not a notch below being the Situation's tanning technician, or the guy who sells Paulie D his steroids? While Jonathon Franzen appears on Oprah, and Chelsea Handler hosts award shows, Tucker nuthuggs a Kodiak fisherman in obscurity.

Anonymous said...

Tucker nailed Chelsea Handler. I guarantee it.

Still doesn't mean he is not a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

ur all haters. He is the shit.

Anonymous said...

^^^I agree; he's the shit that came out of the ass of the Fail Monster.

Anonymous said...

The L.A. Times has discovered Tucker Max:,0,2024755.story

That's it. That's the final nail. He's over.

Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is Alan and I can't stop thinking about Tucker Max. Tucker Max is cool, and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

The purpose of Tucker Max is to flip out and bang sluts. Tucker Max gets Tucker Max Drunk ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. I heard one time a guy said Tucker Max sucks, and Tucker Max flipped out and banged the guy's girlfriend, mom, and sister THEN puked on his couch. And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!

If you don't believe Tucker Max has Real Ultimate Power, you better get a life or he'll get Tucker Max Drunk and shit all over your floor, then drive his ex-girlfriend's car into your dad's donut shop. I can't wait to read Tucker Max's next book. I love Tucker Max with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Anonymous said...

Like Jess, I also knew a self-entitled asshole who was so arrogant he felt he was entitled to the work of others as if he had produced it himself.

For six months, I worked my ass off producing all kinds of content in hopes my work would be rewarded with money and some cool projects being thrown my way.

At three month mark, I grew concerned my paycheck hadn't show up, so I wrote him an e-mail. He seemed to think he had never had any intention of paying me, and that I had misconstrued events. However, because he was a "nice guy" he agreed to pay me half of what I really deserved, and I took it without complaint.

Flash forward another three months. In the intervening time, my boss has told me he has heard "rumors" and I should be concerned. I don't really know what he's talking about, and he seems to ignore me when I offer to discuss them, so I don't pursue it. He then tells me I should drop out of school and be a prison guard because this would fit well with his plans. I tell him thank you but no. I am treated as though I am balking at an offer of help. I sigh and ignore it.

My check is definitely supposed to be arriving this time, with all the back pay for the first three months. Everyday for a week I go down and check the mail. No check comes. I write a series of e-mails to middle management people. No answer. I wait a week and write them again. The check is coming. I wait. I wait some more. Three weeks after it was supposed to arrive it comes.

I open up the check. The amount is for $83.

I am stunned.

I wait a day to wait for the shock to wear off, and then write the boss a direct e-mail expressing my concerns.

My boss proceeds to tell me that I have a big head for daring to talk to him that way, and that he is going to leave me as the nothing he found me.

Anonymous said...

from imdb, 2 useful links

Sales appear to be halving each month. He'll have no meaningful income by the end of this year.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing that someone headed for irrelevance like Tucker still has such a cast of haters. I tend to forget about that which is irrelevant - not spend hours delighting in his irrelevance and then come to this blog to discuss said irrelevance. It's ironic that the people here, who purportedly detest Tucker, are the ones who spend the most time on him.

Anonymous said...

The Think About Tucker Guy was thinking about his most recent posts on the Tucker Max Is A Douchebag blog. He was infinitely better than all of the other posters. After all, they post on a blog--something he would never do. And they made fun of Tucker Max. It is foolish to even think about Tucker, unless, of course, you are defending him. Boy, Tucker would be so proud of him. He was sure of that much. He thought so HARD about his posts, the time he took on crafting them into the gems they were was so LONG, they made his head THROB from exertion, but Tucker was just worth it. Wait, what could THAT mean?

Anonymous said...

"It's ironic that the people here, who purportedly detest Tucker, are the ones who spend the most time on him.

February 16, 2011 12:38 PM"

i know, right? because there have been like, 3 whole entries made on this blog in the last 6 months. clearly, these people have nothing else going on in their life.

Anonymous said...

Stop it, Illuminati!

TBM said...

Whenever you criticize someone, you are, in a sense, putting them on stage and in the spotlight. All you are doing is giving someone you supposedly don't like free publicity. Why are you so obsessed with this guy?

Anonymous said...

^^^ Asked and answered, about 4 million times already. And nobody's obsessed- a trainwreck is just a funny thing to observe, that's all.

Anonymous said...

Did you see this on TMZ? Tugger got kicked out of the South by Southwest film festival for being a shithead - he threw a bag of chips into a ceiling fan. Look at his picture on the page - he looks pretty weathered for mid-30s:

Also, if you search for "Tucker Max" on google, you will see that the "Tucker Max is a Douchebag" blog is #4 on the list of results - that he to piss off Tugger!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's doucebag, you a-holes.

Eric Malteca said...

Tucker Max has the writing skills of a half retarded manatee.

He's actually missed out on a much bigger opportunity than he positioned himself for by hitching a ride on the prose train.

Had he sense enough to bring a camera with him on his drunk tirades, college kids would be singing his praises x10 the world over.

Instead, his disengaging writing and contrived description makes his movies seem like a parody of himself and---box office bombs.

I'm embarrassed to say that I've often been compared to him from a 'I-dont-give-a-fux' standpoint.

But, I'm quite certain that my testicle wrinkles have more talent in holding water than TM's prose.

Anonymous said...

Charlie Sheen wishes he was Tucker Max.

To the MAXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

If you don't dig Tucker Max, you are at least one of the following:

a virgin
in a hopeless relationship
secretly gay
abused as a child

watch dancing w the stars

Anonymous said...

a virgin
in a hopeless relationship
secretly gay
abused as a child
ugly [/quote]
So, does Nils not dig Tucker Max

Cockly McBeefwell said...

I am back and have recovered the password for my blog, Tucker Max Is A Douchebag -

I will delete much of the spam over the next few months when I get a chance.

Thanks for helping to spread the word in my absence!

Anonymous said...

Cockly why do you keep deleting comments over there? Not the spam, new comments.

Cockly McBeefwell said...

^^^ I didn't delete any new comments. Blogger has been screwed up for the last few days. See:

The Blogger people claim that some comments submitted over the past couple days have been temporarily removed but are supposed to be added back soon.

Jerkbag Productions said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BarryBater said...

Welcome back, Cockly! Thanks for reviving your site from the dead. We'll see you over there!

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Anonymous said...

something is seriously wrong with you if you are so pissed off at a drunk that you make a website about it. get a life dude, and try to get over the fact that tucker max fucked your wife.

Anonymous said...

^^^ I hope Tucker gave you a reacharound as payment for standing up to his critics. you're his hero.

Anonymous said...

The imdb board hasn't been touched in a month. Not so much as a whimper about his new book.

Nobody cares anymore. Game over.

Anonymous said...

You're just a hater..plain and simple.

Anonymous said...

^ that's true, we hate hacks and douchebags. I guess that makes us haters.

Anonymous said...

You're all so fucking lame, like what exactly is the point on ripping into the guy so much? Are you really this offended by his works that you spend your free time greasing up your pony tails in excitement over trashing someone who has had more success than you in what you call a "flash in the pan" and "gross debauchery to human kind" etc etc... Get over it, deal, chill, whatever it takes, lay off the haterade. It's pathetic really, nothing he has ever done has affected any of you in any way, yet you cry about it as if he had fucked your own mother (which he probably has). I am not even trying to ride the guys cock, but the paragraphs of hate on him is ridiculous. If he was just some guy who never wrote a book nobody would have anything bad to say about him, as soon as the fame hits the haters flock. Re-evaluate your lives for gods sake.

Cockly McBeefwell said...

We helped take him down. What does that loser going to do for money now? Is he going to leech of his fans for the rest of his life?

Anonymous said...

Wow, an actual blog about hating Tucker Max. Lovely... Been searching the web all day trying to find writers "similar to Tucker" and the only worthwhile one I found was this guy Dave Glenn ( And then like 10th on the google search results was this site. Since this is a hate site, I'm sure you guys can help me. Anyone here know other fratire writers out there???

JFISAF said...

I'm shocked that so many supposedly smart twenty and thirty somethings ever found this sociopathic, eternal frat boy anything but a tool.

That he conned so many people into thinking he's anything special at all is more fascinating than any dull, drunken, profanity-laden "story" he ever told.

And, of course, as is the usual trajectory of tools like Tucker Max, he fizzled out and became a paunchy has-been because he started to believe his own bullshit.

You don't need an essay to fathom the "phenomenon" that is Tucker Max.

Just head down to some third-rate bar in the Florida Keys. Plenty of 50 & 60 year old ex-Tucker-Maxes bellied up to the bar waiting to regale the latest crop of D-list Spring Break bikini girls with wild tales of their drunken sexual exploits back in the day.

Anonymous said...

"When I first discovered Tucker Max in late 2005 at the age of 21, I was drawn to what I thought was a fascinating and complex contrarian, a subversive iconoclast and maverick, an eccentric and creative person living authentically and on his own terms. A sort of modern-day Lord Byron." Congratulations. That is the most pretentious thing I have ever read.

Anonymous said...

And by the way, this blog links to pirated material hosted by megaupload, a site which has been seized by the FBI. I oppose SOPA, PIPA, ACTA, and all bills that attempt to limit freedom of expression because hollywood bought enough senators, but you should probably remove that link.

Anonymous said...

This is actually pathetic! Tucker Max is incredibly intelligent, and if you don't realize that then you're dumb. IHTSBIH wasn't his only achievement...his next two books also sold very well. The movie might have sucked, I didn't see it, but who cares? Have you seen his blog and everything he's planning on doing now? He'll progress with his life while you hide on the internet wasting all of your time blogging about how much you hate him.

Anonymous said...

Your pedantic, inferiority complex baffle me on so many levels. Allow me to elaborate:

You begin by telling everyone that you used to admire and enjoy tuckers work only to later, essentially, say how ridiculous and petty his writing were.

Why cant Tucker mature as a writer just as you have matured, and altered your opinion of him?

He wants to move on...and i suppose writing 3 novels that make the New York Times Best Sellers list would allow you to have a point of closure mentally and financially, to do that.

Wether Tucker "played the game" or not, he is a genius. DId he lie or exaggerate some of his stories? Who cares, you bought it, I bought it and were thoroughly entertained by stop being a hypocrite and being a jealous blogger.

@ftl_nole said...

To all the people who hate on Tucker Max get over yourselves. There is probably not one of you that could write a book (let alone three) that would make someone want to pick it up or read it. And to the original poster....are you kidding me? If you put half as much energy into your life as you put into trying to slander Tucker then you would realize that you wasted hours of it writing that little rant. Go live your life and Tucker will live his and just let others make their own decision about Tucker by reading his books. Your hate on him sounds alot like jealousy and envy.

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Anonymous said...

@ftl_nole said...

Hell, who fucking cares what @ftl_nole said? It is obvious that he has a man-crush on Fucker.


The guy is full of shit and he's kaput, done.

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