Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tucker Max Damage Control

You know what? I'd prefer to post here like maybe just twice a week. But sometimes something so hilarious comes along that I just have to acknowledge it.

Today Tucker Max responded to the Gawker articles and the BCWoods story.

"First off, BC Woods knows exactly why he was fired, and his recitation of the "facts" are laughable. He has chosen to construct a different reality in his mind so he doesn't have to face what actually happened. I haven't written about it because, ironically enough, I am trying to be the good guy. If I printed the full story of what an idiotic doofus that kid is, if I had Ben and Bart and Nils and Donika write up their takes on him and what happened, believe me, no one would be on his side. But I haven't done that because what's the point? How does it benefit me to shit all over some loser? That's a no win situation for me--if I systematically explain what happened, I look weak by wasting time on a no one and people wonder why I am even talking about it. Granted, if I don't, people may accept his version of the story, but considering that no one other than nosey dipshits like you care about some blogger who can't get any traffic, I'll take the latter situation.

Second, Gawker's hate storm has NOTHING to do with anything other than the fact that this is what they do. Gawker is not looking for facts, they are not looking for an explanation of what happened--they don't care about that, they aren't a news service or reporters. They are simply printing anything they can find that they perceive as negative towards me, regardless of how much truth there is in it. They are a snark and slander rag that exists for no other reason than to generate page views, and they do that by stirring up controversy, even where none really exists. That's what they do. They aren't treating me any differently than they treat pretty much anyone. If you had read anything else on Gawker, you'd know this. "

If I had a printer attached to my laptop I'd print this out and then rub it on myself, it is so good. I've only got like 5-10 minutes so let's just do the main points about why this is bullshit.

  • In typical Tucker Max fashion they discredit BCWoods as a person rather than address the fact that he was paid $82 for 6 months work.
  • Tucker claims that "Ben and Bart and Nils and Donika" all feel the same way, that his stories were fake and that he wasn't a good writer. Really Tucker? You're own sycophant employees back you up? You must be telling the truth I guess..
  • Then comes the powerplay where he explains that his time is so valuable that it would be a waste to explain why BCWoods left. Really? The second most popular Rudius site after his own and he didn't have time to tell the fans what happened. This bit drips of ignorance.
  • In less than 50 minutes there are two posts from Rudius blogfags giving us the inside scoop talking about how they never liked BCWoods and how his stuff was fake. Posts like these are CLEARLY coordinated in order to sway a thread a certain way - in this one it's to discredit BCWoods.
  • The funny thing is BCWoods didn't hold a proper grudge at all to Rudius - he waited almost a fucking year before he quietly, and respectfully, posted about the reasons he left.
  • There's no explanation about the email Tucker sent him either - I guess it's hard to defend a direct quote that clearly exhibits what an asswipe you really are.
  • As for the Gawker stuff, they have BCWoods email, they have the post TheBunny did, but according to Tucker "Gawker is not looking for facts... (they're) printing anything they can find". Dumbass, they have evidence! Right now I can go on Gawker and you're on the front page where they link to a story where you add a person who kills Mexicans to your Hall of Fame.
People are abandoning Rudius like it's the fucking Titanic, Tucker can argue all he wants that bad publicity is publicity nonetheless, but Gawker fans aren't going to see his movie - it's only his own fans who are slowly getting their eyes opened.

Man, I fucking love Gawker.


Anonymous said...

I've known FBI agents, and I can guaran-damn-tee that Tucker's story is COMPLETE BULLSHIT.

Anonymous said...

I, seriously, want to have your children. I don't care if you're a girl. We'll scissor each other until our DNA fuses and produces the most awesome human being on the face of the planet. We'll name him Tucker. We'll grow old together and sit in our rockers on the porch, reminiscing about the days when douchebags were mocked on the internet.

Anonymous said...

Right on. Here's the best thing about Tucker and his circle of ass-kissers: His "fans" have seen this whole act before and yet they still fall for it hook, line and sinker. Here's how it goes: Tucker proclaims he is working on something that will revolutionize media/writing/blogging/distribution/radio/movies. It becomes his soul focus for about two months or so, and then he moves on to the next "revolution" and his abject failure in the previous arena is NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. I mean, seriously, how often can the same group of dummies fall for this schtick?! When the movie fails -- and it will fail -- Tucker will blame it on someone else, or simply won't acknowledge that it ever happened, and then move on to his next bullshit announcement that he's going to revolutionize fishing rods or legal pads or forks or whatever thing he intends to chase in typical, Tucker Max half-assed fashion. Give me a break, Tucker Max. You lose at life.

Anonymous said...

Also, does it make anyone else laugh that he acts like hanging out with Paul Wall is something to be envious of? I mean, it's PAUL WALL! He recorded a song with Brooke Hogan, for Christ's sake! Could the dude be less relevant?

Anonymous said...

HAHA This blog is fantastic. This hate site is going to blow up like Jess' areolas -- in other words, HUGE.

Anonymous said...

Who is Paul Wall?
Who is Matt Czursky?
Who is Jessie?

All I know is that Tucker Max is an internet douchebag. Douchebags like douchebags, so they must all be douchebags too.